You’re looking at Sally Jenkins, and today, we all bow at her feet. Jenkins is a columnist for The Washington Post, and today, wrote quite possibly the most epic piece of satire yet about Rick Pitino and the Louisville scandal. Jenkins eviscerated Pitino and his hypocrisy in her piece, entitled “Nothing to see in Louisville basketball program; just ask Rick Pitino.” The opening paragraph:
In my basketball program, we promote a family atmosphere. Okay, maybe the atmosphere got a little too family, when my chief recruiter modeled himself on a father figure who once got blackmailed for having sex on a restaurant tabletop. But our team is based on relationships and trust, so you should trust me when I say that I didn’t know a thing about any strippers and prostitutes. Just in case you don’t take my word for it, here is my nephew, who can vouch for me. He says I didn’t know.
(That last line refers to William Minardi.)
No other coach, player, or trainer knew anything about any of this, especially not me. Obviously something happened in that dorm, from what people are saying on ESPN, the strippers who danced at two dozen parties over four years, and the five players who would talk to ESPN only anonymously for fear of reprisals from the Louisville family. I am dedicated to finding the whole truth of the matter. Which is why I texted my nephew, who used to live in the dorm, the one I named after his father. He said, “I never saw a thing.”
Girl did the damn thing. Go check it out right now.