The next BBN bodily fixation: Brad Cal(f)ipari

 

Anthony Davis’ unibrow. Nerlens’ flat top. John Robic’s hair. Tod Lanter’s biceps.

The BBN has a habit of picking out a striking body part: Most players have two eyebrows. Few rocked the flat top in Nerlens’ day. Robic’s hair’s feathery charm is second only to White Goodman. Tod Lanter looked like he spent a month in Siberia doing nothing but eating wild river salmon and using a shake weight.

This season, we have Brad Calipari’s mountainous calves.

Now take a closer look:

Just look at those bad boys. They’re nice, no doubt. Large, yet toned. Stout, and getting steady buckets from the three-point line. 

The dude’s gastrocnemius and soleus are even more impressive when you consider where he came from:

Pillsbury dough boy AKA Mr steal yo girl pic.twitter.com/HVXv0wmQwz

— Brad Calipari (@bradcalipari) August 5, 2016

Not a great look from circa 2009, but he’s since made the transition from Canklepari to Calfipari (calf raises? Diet change?) one that I can confidently say has been for the better.

 

I think they’ve graduated from the term “calves.” They’re fully formed, mature cows. And that doesn’t just apply to Cal the younger–his dad has some cows as well, reminding me of that random guy at the gym who told me “calves are, like, 90 percent genetic, bro.” I’m inclined to believe him after seeing this photo:

Do your calf raises, BBN