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Someone stole Red Panda’s 7-foot unicycle

If you’ve been to an SEC road game, odds are you’ve seen Red Panda’s famous halftime act; often times, it’s more entertaining than the game itself, which is why it pains me to tell you that someone has stolen the acrobat’s seven-foot unicycle. 

According to KTVU, someone made off with the giant bike at the San Francisco International Airport on January 24, and now, Red Panda’s agent is offering a $2,000 reward.

“She’s heartbroken,” her agent, Pat Figley of San Francisco-based Farallon Entertainment, told KTVU on Wednesday. ”It’s like her baby was kidnapped. She’s had that unicycle for 30 years.”

Red Panda has a backup unicycle, but her agent said it’s just not the same.

“She’s doing horribly,” Figley said. “She’s dropping balls. She’s just not used to it. The one that was stolen was custom built for her.”

This is an absolute travesty and whoever stole it must be brought to justice. Look how happy Red Panda’s act made Ryan Lemond in Chapel Hill back in December:

On second thought, can anyone confirm Ryan’s whereabouts on January 24??



Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

5 Comments for Someone stole Red Panda’s 7-foot unicycle

  1. mothandras
    2:54 pm January 31, 2018 Permalink

    Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?

  2. IAmTheDanger
    2:54 pm January 31, 2018 Permalink

    I thought I spotted the perpetrator but it turned out they were riding an 8 foot unicycle.

  3. RackEmWillie
    2:58 pm January 31, 2018 Permalink

    I totally thought that was an article from the New Circle Circular…..

  4. Luether
    7:52 pm January 31, 2018 Permalink

    My sources say that the thief was definitely a Democ Rat…

  5. bigb
    8:21 pm January 31, 2018 Permalink

    Where is Drew Franklin? Can he provide an alibi?