What you are about to read is a parody piece. It in no way, shape, or form directly reflects Derek Willis’ thoughts or actions (as much as I wish it did). These will be posted at various points as the season goes on. With that said, please enjoy.
Lol what’s good BBN? I’m gonna be stopping in here every once in a while to tell y’all about the team and some other stuff too probably. In case you were wondering, yes, I am drinking a Mountain Dew right now. I gotta be careful not to spill it on this laptop, like I did my last one. Haha speaking of that, it’s a funny story, I was watching Bill Dance Outdoors bloopers and he hooked a monster largemouth then while he was trying to get it in the net he went head first right into the lake. I laughed so hard I spit a mouth full of Dew all over my keyboard and screen. Totally ruined it. Luckily, the next day I won $500 on a $5 scratch off I bought at Circle K. Lol it was total luck haha I was just there to get gas. I was so happy, did a ten second burnout before I peeled out of the parking lot.
Anyway I guess I’ll tell y’all a little about the team. I think we’re gonna be pretty good and the new dudes on the team are cool. Me and Malik have shooting competitions all the time. If he tells you he’s a better shooter, just remind him I dusted nine clay pigeons before he even hit one haha he even tried to blame it on the 12-gauge he was using. Apparently “he doesn’t miss with his 20-gauge pump back in Arkansas.” Yeah, sure. He isn’t better than me at shooting basketballs either. Other than that, I’m glad he’s on the team. He’s a good dude and the only teammate I’ve had in four years that will go mudding with me back in Mt. Washington.
De’Aaron is lightning fast, if you haven’t been able to tell from the first few games. He has a whole buncha energy, easily the most of anyone on the team. He’s constantly bouncing off the walls, and he doesn’t even drink Dew. I have no idea how he does it, it’s crazy haha. He’s super good, I just know he’ll be playing in the league soon making millions of dollars. I told him when he’s rich, he’s gotta get a badass car to drive, so in our spare time I teach him how to look for killer deals in my AutoTrader magazines and on craigslist. He really likes Ferraris. I told him if he wants to buy a piece of junk then go ahead and get a Ferrari but if he really wants to get all the ladies then he needs to get a ’69 GTO. Man, those are sweet.
The team, mostly the younger guys, like to listen to rap in the locker room to get hyped for games. I just don’t get it. Rap is fine and what not but I’ve been telling them if they want to elevate their games and really get pumped for games then they should try mixing in a Kid Rock or Limp Bizkit song. Before the UCLA game last year I listened to “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit and, well, you all remember that as my “break-out” game. These young guys have a lot to learn about playing college basketball.
That’s about it as far as the team goes so far. I’m excited for this year and think we’ve got a heck of a shot to win the whole thing. Just as long as these guys stick to my advice, we should be fine.