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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Meet The Blue Devils


As we count down the hours until tonight’s highly anticipated basketball game between No. 2 Kentucky and No. 5 Duke, take some time to get to know the opponents we will aggressively curse throughout the night. Like those before them, these Blue Devils are very unlikable. It’s perfectly fine to hate them. In fact, it is encouraged.



Guard / Junior / 6-5 / 200 lbs.

Not to be confused with your favorite Kentucky radio host and Congressman, Matt Jones is Duke’s veteran in the backcourt. This year, he has been forced to play out of position at the point, but he is at his best when he is off the ball, catching and shooting from beyond the arc.

Jones had 19 points on 5-of-6 shooting from deep in Duke’s last game. He cannot be left open.

Guard / Sophomore / 6-5 / 205 lbs.

Duke’s leading scorer through its first two games, with an average of 27 points per contest, Grayson Allen is the Dukiest of the bunch. He is the latest product of Coach Kryskeksheysiski pouring his magical Duke elixir into his magical Duke machine to create the prototypical Duke basketball player everyone loves to hate. With a name like Grayson Allen and the face of an ABC Family sitcom dad, this one reeks of douche.

But somebody better guard him and guard him well tonight.

Forward / Freshman / 6-9 / 190 lbs.

Brandon Ingram is Duke’s star freshman the season, entering his college basketball career as the second-ranked small forward in the 2015 recruiting class, behind LSU’s Ben Simmons.

Ingram is extremely long and athletic, but he is in the same weight class as most sorority girls. I’ve eaten chicken wings with more meat on their bones.

That being said, he is really good.

Forward / Senior / 6-9 / 225 lbs.

Amile Jefferson posted double-doubles in Duke’s first two games at the power forward position, but above that, he is looking to become the first player in Duke history to earn All-ACC Academic Team honors in all four of his seasons. Jefferson is already one of only eight to be named to the All-ACC Academic Team three times, and with one more he will stand out among the bunch.

The senior from Philadelphia is also a two-time team captain and his enormous eyeballs really creep me out.

Center / Senior / 7-0 / 250 lbs.

There’s another one?! Good grief. Someone get a box of condoms to Mr. and Mrs. Plumlee before they turn the entire world into tall, goofy-looking white guys.

This Plumlee, the 40th to play for Coach K, I believe, has already been sworn into the U.S. Army. He will become an Army officer once he completes his ROTC requirements at Duke in the spring. That’s pretty cool of him.


Key Reserves

12 | Derryck Thornton (Freshman | Guard | 6-2 | 175)… A freshman point guard, Duke’s only true point guard, Thornton reclassified from the 2016 class to play at Duke this season. It’s been a cold start to his career from the floor, connecting on only three of his 17 shot attempts, but he will get better with time. And by that, I mean Ulis will eat him alive tonight.

5 |Luke Kennard (Freshman | Guard | 6-5 | 180)… Here’s all you need to know about Luke Kennard: he grew up a die hard Kentucky basketball fan, and he picked Duke over Kentucky. Kid’s messed up in the head. What kind of person knows his father’s pain from the ’92 game, then goes on to commit to Duke? A real Benedict Arnold. That’s what kind of person.

2 | Chase Jeter (Freshman | Forward/Center | 6-10 | 240)… Jeter saw only 13 minutes per game in Duke’s first two contests, providing depth behind Jefferson and Plumlee inside. He was the fifth-ranked power forward in the 2015 recruiting class and he, like several others on his team, has the official haircut of Duke basketball.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

13 Comments for Meet The Blue Devils

  1. C_Cov
    1:29 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    Luke didnt feel the pain of the 92 game. Like me he wasnt born

    • Drew Franklin
      1:34 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

      I’m aware he wasn’t born but he admitted to feeling the pain. I’m sure you get it too.

    • C_Cov
      1:38 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

      Yeah. I just dont buy Lukes story. He was never a fan if he goes to Duke. Think its somehtin Coach Kjnasnvas had Him Spin. Shows that even kentucky fans think Duke is the place to go.

  2. @BallBlog_Chad
    1:29 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    it’s not easy to predict the starting lineup of either team right now, really. gotta think thornton will become a starter at some point being the only true pg. he’s still avg 25 min a game, so he’s in there a lot. does willis get another start and guard ingram (who’s taken 15 3s already in 2 games at 6’9″) or does briscoe get the start since he’s been playing/practicing well lately and could guard allen. briscoe seems like he wants to take the other team’s best guy, that’s the vibe i get from him. need alex to roar tonight!

    • linebeard
      1:37 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

      I think you start Briscoe at the two and guard Allen. I think our lack of physicality get exposed a little bit tonight and Duke will control the boards on both ends. Will need to create turnovers and shoot well to win.

  3. Champaign4myCATSfriends
    1:43 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    This is pure gold. Genius.

  4. Megan
    2:00 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    They dirty. They low down. They some snitches.

  5. secrick
    2:01 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    Hope Alex plays good tonight, we need him. He just seems to be a little off right now. Love to see Willis hitting those threes that is if he can hang with the quickness of the game.

  6. struggler
    2:09 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    I’m sorry – rarely say anything about a players looks, but if Grayson Allen isn’t the bastard child of Ted Cruz and a hammerhead shark… then I am off of my game.

  7. Leuther
    2:47 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    Allen looks more like the bastard child of Nancy Pelosi and Mr Rogers…

    • RealCatsFan
      2:50 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

      Looks more like Paul Ryan to me. In fact, I’m surprised Allen’s mama doesn’t make Ryan take a paternity test.

  8. inside info2
    3:31 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    Drew, this was an excellent post. Are you ok?

  9. catheaven
    4:32 pm November 17, 2015 Permalink

    Great writing, Drew. Always love to read your perspective in your style.