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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

KSR Does Chicago In The Most Ridiculous Manner Possible


Exhibit #1: #NeckTatsForWillie

KSR’ers rarely get to witness greatness without being “on the clock.”  Seizing the opportunity, the tats meant for pretty girls’ cheeks were instead applied more properly – on the neck.  I can’t take credit for this ingenious idea; that all goes to Sammy the BullDozer Reider.  It somehow didn’t scare away every woman within a 10 foot radius (more on that later), but I am little upset that most people had too ask “is that real?”

Also: If you’re wondering why I’m wearing a football jersey at a basketball game – they won’t let me wear it inside the CWS Press Box.

Exhibit #2: Pizza on a Bloody Mary


And the good kind of pizza in the morning: pineapple and pepperoni, served cold, of course.  I now understand Kristen Geil’s obsession with the Lincoln Park pizzeria Homeslice.

Exhibit #3: Speaking of Lincoln Park…

…It’s probably the most attractive place in a big city there is.  Finding an ugly person/thing in DePaul’s adjacent neighborhood is nearly impossible.  The homes remind you of the Full House home.  The food tastes like stuff you can’t get anywhere else, and it’s all a stone’s throw away.  Oh and did I mention all of the beautiful people?  It wasn’t  just the Dozer and I drooling over pretty girls; the kids were cute enough to be models and the dudes walking dogs looked pleasant as peaches.

You can look, but don’t touch.  At a Kansas Bar we stumbled into the first night, the Dozer set a world record for the fastest turn down in the history of The Game.  He couldn’t even get a slice of consolation prize pizza.

Exhibit #4: Ride The Pony

The Windy City’s UK bar is nowhere near the United Center, but they made sure it was still the place to be before and after the game.  They supplied neck tats, pom poms, shuttles to and from the game, food after the game, and all of the beer your wallet could afford.

Matt often talks about the “SEC Tournament crowd” that you see on display for many road trips.  This friendly bunch was here, and going full force well before noon.  As we made our way to the back of the bar, a giant table was put in the middle of the “dance floor” (I use the “” because I don’t think it’s normally a dance floor, just when the Cats murder opponents) in front of the biggest TV in the house.  Who else would be holding it down than a strong Louisville South End contingency?  The Dozer and I felt right at home.  We simply couldn’t escape our people.

When we returned after the game, the only thing that had changed was the size of the stacks of empty beer cups on the table.

Exhibit #5: Not Too Shabby Seats


How did we get so close?  Jut a few tricks up our sleeves.  We learned from the best, PG.  But if I told you what the tricks were, they wouldn’t be tricks now would they?

Exhibit 6: We Met Dancing Guy

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Exhibit #7: Cats by (Almost) 90

There was a lot of pictures to re-hash on Sunday, but none made me smile more than this one.  The Bruin Beatdown was so bad, I thought I’d capture the moment the finally put points on the board.  But if you look closely, I couldn’t snap the picture before the Cats already had a ball going through the net on the other end.


Who’s worried about Louisville again?

Exhibit #8: The Latino Express

The name of our shuttle bus was also a play on an old stereotype: 30 people crammed onto an 18-passenger short bus for the ride home.  It was 135 degrees and the music was bad and I couldn’t stand up straight because the ceiling was too low, but hey, it’s for the Cats.

Exhibit #9:  Cruisin’ for a Boozin’ 

When Drew Franklin and Aaron Flener organize an alcohol outing on a boat, you don’t ask questions.  We didn’t, and it turned out to be….something.

Ally T and KG unfortunately didn’t share the same ideology as the Dozer and I, but it’s their loss: the boat yacht had a helicopter.  Ok maybe I should go easy with the words “yacht” and “helicopter.”  The chopper didn’t even have a propeller on top, but it made the Anita Dee II look less boat-y and more yacht-y.

The people on the boat were of a strange variety.  Everyone was fighting for a good spot in the extremely long line for drinks.  Everyone also had a Santa hat, making it difficult to distinguish between the women you had already talked to, even though the Dozer still managed to find someone he went to grade school with.  The blonde Pre-K teacher was nice.  The Memphis native was not.  I’d hate it too if my coach left a shit town that hasn’t been cool since Elvis lived there to be “King Calipari of College Basketball.”

The only thing the boat needed was a little more boogie.  I brought my my my dancin’ shoes, but most on the cruise were all about the booze.  Except Drew.  Something in the water turned him into an evil authoritarian, ordering 1,000 words to be typed by 9:00 pm Sunday.  This post is only 993 words, EAT IT DREW!

Exhibit #10:  It doesn’t get much better than this

Following the phenomenal weekend, Matt has talked about the historical significance of the game, but let’s be honest: EVERY game that Cal coaches at Kentucky is history in the making.  What you do and how you spend it will only make it better.  Anxiety over undefeated or a three-point streak is useless.  What we watched this weekend is something that won’t happen again, and that’s how it is with EVERY SINGLE GAME.  I can only hope that you will celebrate each game like we did this weekend, because we’re just getting started, bro.

It’s safe to say, we cocked back that joint and banged on ’em.

Article written by Nick Roush

"Look upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole." @RoushKSR

3 Comments for KSR Does Chicago In The Most Ridiculous Manner Possible

  1. I Love It
    7:47 pm December 22, 2014 Permalink

    Come on, dude. This isn’t Facebook.

  2. The Original WTF Guy
    9:24 pm December 22, 2014 Permalink

    While not the worst thing I’ve read here, pretty damn close to it. I can only assume the writer is a UL fan who attended that proud community college.

  3. Art Vandalay
    9:52 pm December 22, 2014 Permalink

    Good job, good effort.