De’Aaron Fox has a great head of lettuce. Last night, to much of my dismay, he decided to forego his usual “do” and rock a man-bun instead. While I appreciate his willingness to experiment with different styles, the man-bun doesn’t hold a candle to the floppy hair he normally sports. It’s unique and fun. In appreciation of De’Aaron’s awesome hair, I think it’s time we finally honor UK basketball’s “All Hair” team.
I took some time to search for the former players with the most worthy hairdos to complete the “All Hair” roster. I tried my best to incorporate players from all different eras, but prior to Cal, not many of our guys got too creative with their lettuce. I decided to take facial hair into consideration because good and unique facial hair can be just as impressionable as a wacky head of hair. It also, helps in making the roster more diverse than just having a bunch of Calipari-era guys. With that said, here is the University of Kentucky Basketball “All Hair” Team.
PG: Richie Farmer (#32)
I know, I spent the first paragraph gushing over how cool De’Aaron Fox’s hair is but RICHIE FARMER HAD A DANG MUSTACHE. Richie didn’t choose to have a mustache, his mustache chose him. Two types of people choose to grow a mustache: the chosen ones and frauds. It isn’t hard to tell a fraud from a chosen one. A chosen one’s mustache is genuine and profoundly organic, to the point that the mustache itself seemingly becomes its own entity with unique thoughts and emotions. Richie’s mustache appeared as if it had always been there, like an old oak tree in the middle of a bustling city, if it were to be removed, something just wouldn’t be right.
SG: James Young (#1)
James Young often times seems to be overlooked in UK basketball lore. He had, if not in the event of a crushing loss, probably one of the nastiest dunks in Kentucky history. I also remember him for the strange combinations of highlights he would use in his hair. I never particularly liked any of his styles, but with the frequency he changed them, it would be a crime not to make him the starting SG. Also, the tips of his hair reminded me of a cup of Rally’s fries one time, and I love Rally’s so it was a pretty easy choice.
SF: Winston Bennett (#25)
I wasn’t alive to see Winston Bennett play, so I could be completely making this up but from what I’ve gathered it appears Bennett had a Jheri curl at one point in his career. As time goes on, popular fashion trends from the past, seem to reemerge in the mainstream. The jheri curl, however, seems to be extinct and that’s a shame because, man, those things were bananas. Even more shocking, Ice Cube, one of the hardest public figures of the 90’s is famous for having one. People took him seriously and respected him, while that damp, curly, network of chaos was growing out of his head. I would hope Bennett got the same kind of respect on the court because he’s certainly got mine.
PF: Patrick Patterson (#54)
The starting five of the “All Hair” team could not be legitimate without the presence of an afro. P-Pat rocked the ‘fro for a while before switching to a more conservative haircut later in his tenure. Countless former players have had mini-fros but few ever had the guts to grow that sucker out, Ben Wallace style. While Patrick’s may have never been on Wallace’s level, it was still respectable in the afro realm. He was able to grow his out because he had the game, and tree trunk, rock-crusher arms, to back it up. It was also flawless. Perfectly shaped, and well maintained. It’s disappointing he didn’t keep it for his whole UK career. Sad!
C: Nerlens Noel (#3)
Not sure if there is anyone more deserving of this prestigious honor than Nerlens Noel. He wasn’t the first of his peers to bring back the retro, high top fade, but he definitely mastered the look. He stuck to the true meaning of “high-top.” Most high-top fades you see players around the country growing are only an inch or two high, Nerlens went full on Gerald from Hey Arnold with his, which is the best decision he could’ve ever made. His hair was such a part of him that he shaved an oddly shaped, UK logo in the back of it when he announced his commitment. I’ve never wanted UK to get a recruit more than Nerlens, solely because I thought his hair was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Nerlens embodies what it means to be part of the All Hair team.
G: De’Aaron Fox (#0)
I’ve already addressed how awesome his hair is. Great bench player.
C: Willie Cauley-Stein (#15)
He had blonde hair once and it was such a distraction that he ended up being an All-American
F: Gimel Martinez (#44)
Another mustache guy. You can never have too many mustache guys.
C: Anthony Davis (#23)
I suppose eyebrows count too, or should I say eyebrow.