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Grayson Allen the Type of Dude


Remember the kid from school who always got on your nerves? The kid in elementary school who your mom forced you to invite to your birthday party/sleepover because if you didn’t it would be obvious nobody liked him. Remember that kid? I think everyone has encountered that kid at some point in their life and if you haven’t well, then odds are you were that kid. I think of that kid almost every time I see Grayson Allen on TV. Every childish outburst, every dirty play I see Allen commit reminds me of that pesky, annoying kid I dealt with from kindergarten to my last day of high school. While I want to feel sorry for him, for the endless amounts of scrutiny he’s taken over the past few months, I just can’t. That damn kid he reminds me of was just so annoying back in the day. So, today’s post is dedicated to making fun of Grayson Allen.

Let’s play a round of “Grayson Allen the Type of Dude.”


Grayson Allen is the type of dude to…

-cry if he isn’t the line leader.

-ask you how you did on a test, just so he can rub his better score in your face.

-accuse you of cheating if your test score was higher than his.

-settle an argument by running to ask his jerk dad, who will always take his side and condescendingly call you stupid.

-disrespect and yell at his mother while you’re at his house, making the rest of the visit awkward.

-ALWAYS, regardless if he called it first, ride shotgun.

-not tell you the controls to a video game you’ve never played before.

-say “you suck at this game” as he destroys you in said video game.

-bring his new toy to school but not let any of the other kids touch it.

-go to another kid’s birthday party and help the kid whose birthday it is, open their presents.

-exclaim “I already have that!” after each present is opened.

-help the same kid blow out the candles on their birthday cake.

-order a pizza and not share a single piece because “he’s starving!”

-eat four pieces of said pizza and throw the rest away without offering anyone the rest of the leftover pieces.


-flirt with girls at a pool party by pushing them in the pool.

-get mad and leave if you push him in the pool.

-go out to eat with his girlfriend’s parents and order the most expensive thing on the menu.

-make you watch him play a single player video game without asking if you’d like to play.

-make up his own rules during pick-up basketball and say “my ball, my rules” when you disagree with him.

– be furious with his parents for buying him a BMW for his sixteenth birthday when he “told them a million times” BMW’s suck.

-always “bunt” when he plays kickball.

-be in high school and still not let anyone copy his homework.

-NEVER admit that he got tagged in a game of freeze tag.

-degrade you in front of girls to make himself look better.


If you have a good one to add, be sure to share it in the comment section.

Article written by Barrett Lindsey

I drive a Saturn. Here's my twitter handle that you probably won't follow: @BarrySliceKSR

14 Comments for Grayson Allen the Type of Dude

  1. Sentient Third Eye
    4:03 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    To be fair, you don’t have to be a butthole to know that BMW’s suck.

    • UK Big Board Update
      4:59 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

      Yeah, they sure do… ::eyeroll::

    • RealCatsFan
      5:32 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

      Q: What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

      A: A porcupine has all the pricks on the outside. 🙂

  2. Kevin C
    4:12 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Grayson Allen is the type of dude that… goes to Duke.

    *drops mic*

  3. cab9560r
    4:12 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    He gets mad at Coach K because his desk isn’t tall enough and he keeps bumping his head while giving coach K a BL**J**. Blame the damn desk

  4. WeWe3
    4:55 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Gets rocked in pickle, takes the ball, throws it down the street and runs home.

  5. ncaa is in on it
    5:06 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Grayson Allen is the type of guy that would f**k u in the a** and not have the courtesy to give u a g,d. reach around!-Full metal jacket

  6. struggler
    5:13 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Lies about the size of his wee wee.

    Lies about how far he’s been with girls.

    Has the neighborhood trampoline or pool… or both… but will not share it.

    Picks on girls… half his age.

    Cries AND doesn’t know what to do if mommy didn’t cut the crust off of his sandwich at school lunch.

    I could go on forever – grew up with a Grayson Allen clone….

  7. runningunnin.454
    5:20 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Never had a girlfriend; he trips them ’cause it’s funny…..and they kick his a$$.

  8. RealCatsFan
    5:34 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Grayson is the kid who sticks his foot out and trips the nerdy little freshman with glasses and an armload of books.

  9. UK Big Board Update
    5:54 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Grayson Allen the type of dude that has his mom make PB&J with the PB ON TOP GODDAMMIT!!

  10. az1006
    5:59 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Grayson Allen is the type of dude that calls offensive fouls in pick-up games.

  11. Dwildcat83
    9:50 pm January 17, 2017 Permalink

    Is the type of guy who hacks you at the rim and says ” I got all ball.”