Remember the kid from school who always got on your nerves? The kid in elementary school who your mom forced you to invite to your birthday party/sleepover because if you didn’t it would be obvious nobody liked him. Remember that kid? I think everyone has encountered that kid at some point in their life and if you haven’t well, then odds are you were that kid. I think of that kid almost every time I see Grayson Allen on TV. Every childish outburst, every dirty play I see Allen commit reminds me of that pesky, annoying kid I dealt with from kindergarten to my last day of high school. While I want to feel sorry for him, for the endless amounts of scrutiny he’s taken over the past few months, I just can’t. That damn kid he reminds me of was just so annoying back in the day. So, today’s post is dedicated to making fun of Grayson Allen.
Let’s play a round of “Grayson Allen the Type of Dude.”
Grayson Allen is the type of dude to…
-cry if he isn’t the line leader.
-ask you how you did on a test, just so he can rub his better score in your face.
-accuse you of cheating if your test score was higher than his.
-settle an argument by running to ask his jerk dad, who will always take his side and condescendingly call you stupid.
-disrespect and yell at his mother while you’re at his house, making the rest of the visit awkward.
-ALWAYS, regardless if he called it first, ride shotgun.
-not tell you the controls to a video game you’ve never played before.
-say “you suck at this game” as he destroys you in said video game.
-bring his new toy to school but not let any of the other kids touch it.
-go to another kid’s birthday party and help the kid whose birthday it is, open their presents.
-exclaim “I already have that!” after each present is opened.
-help the same kid blow out the candles on their birthday cake.
-order a pizza and not share a single piece because “he’s starving!”
-eat four pieces of said pizza and throw the rest away without offering anyone the rest of the leftover pieces.
-flirt with girls at a pool party by pushing them in the pool.
-get mad and leave if you push him in the pool.
-go out to eat with his girlfriend’s parents and order the most expensive thing on the menu.
-make you watch him play a single player video game without asking if you’d like to play.
-make up his own rules during pick-up basketball and say “my ball, my rules” when you disagree with him.
– be furious with his parents for buying him a BMW for his sixteenth birthday when he “told them a million times” BMW’s suck.
-always “bunt” when he plays kickball.
-be in high school and still not let anyone copy his homework.
-NEVER admit that he got tagged in a game of freeze tag.
-degrade you in front of girls to make himself look better.
If you have a good one to add, be sure to share it in the comment section.