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You may take issue with Josh Moon

Yeah, I’d rather have Bobby Johnson, too

I’ve never heard of Josh Moon–until today. I’ve read exactly one of his columns, and it was un-good. As the title suggests, you may take issue with him.

A wise writer once told me not to bash those in the biz, as you may run into them in the future, and things could be a bit awkward. However, when someone says something so blatantly absurd and worse, wrong, it’s hard not to reply. Moon writes for the Montgomery Advisor, which I guess is a newspaper in Alabama.

Here is the column in question. You don’t really need to read it. In fact, I’d advise you not to. I’ll sum it up for you here, and you can draw your own conclusions.

Mr. Moon attempts to rank the coaches in the SEC from top to bottom. No easy task, indeed. However, he ranks Rich Brooks last in the league, one spot behind Vanderbilt’s Bobby Johnson. Mr. Moon uses a subjective scoring criteria, where he arbitrarily awards points in three categories: game planning, program building, and smarts. Below you will find his list, and everything wrong with it.

*his words bold

12. Rich Brooks (1 game planning, 1 program building, 2 smarts)

Everybody was happy for Brooks last year, but let’s be honest, the guy’s had one decent year that was a product of one really great player. Unless he can find another Andre(‘)(…good research) Woodson, Brooks will get the boot inside of two years.

First of all, a 1 for program building is absolutely ridiculous. One decent year? At Kentucky or overall? I’m assuming, since you include Petrino in the list, that you are “evaluating” their entire body of work. You know, Mr. Moon, he was the national coach of the year in ’94. Also, if last year was “decent,” than the year before had to also be “decent.” I find it hard to call a season where we defeated the #1 team in the country, our bitter rival, Arkansas, and Florida State “decent.”

Further, the great Andre’ Woodson you speak of was a mildly recruited QB out of high school and a late-round draft pick. I loved Woodson and he was a great player; he is hardly irreplaceable, however. You can’t say that Brooks is a bad program-builder AND the beneficiary of great players. That don’t jive.

11. Bobby Johnson (2 game planning, 2 program building, 2 smarts)

He got close to a bowl game last year, but you don’t get points for close. Especially when one win will get you bowl eligible and you choke away your final four games.

Yes. You’re right. You don’t get points for close. So why are you giving Bobby Johnson points for close? How is he building a program better than Rich Brooks? I have no idea how this explanation satisfies Mr. Moon’s reasoning for putting Johnson ahead of Brooks. It appears Brooks is being punished for having good players, which is lunacy.

So, according to Mr. Moon, Bobby Johnson is a better program builder than Rich Brooks, even though he has never reached a bowl game, nor has Vandy ever been .500 or better under his control (since ’02). But he’s been “close.” But “close” doesn’t count. Except it does, apparently.

10. Les Miles (4 game planning, 4 program building, 0 smarts)

He won the national title last year — I’ll go ahead and say it for you, because I don’t care. This is the same guy who tried to call timeout after an interception two years ago and tried his absolute best to lose every game LSU played last year. A glass trophy doesn’t erase crazy.

OK. Wow. Uhh, where do you start here? First, admitting your own stupidity doesn’t make it right or acceptable. Just going to throw that out there. You, um, you don’t care that Les Miles won the National Championship? What does that even mean? Who doesn’t care about championships? What exactly do you base success on? Being close to championships?

I do agree with you, on some levels. Les Miles is crazy. He did some stupid stuff (i.e. allowing Matt Flynn to pass). However, a glass trophy erases a lot. Maybe not everything, but a lot. He is not, by any stretch, the 10th best coach in his conference and the worst in his division. Impossible.

9. Houston Nutt

Building a program, he can do. He can also design a whole playbook full of plays in about an hour. But ask the guy to design a gameplan to utilize the talent at his disposal and he’ll screw it up almost every time.

So Nutt, who sucked with the best player in college football last year, is a program builder. Got it. I’d like to read your criteria for a “program builder,” Mr. Moon. Winning games against inferior talent should probably be included.

8. Bobby Petrino

Offensive genius? You bet. Problem is, he tends to forget that an equally important goal in each game is to stop the opponent from scoring. You can’t get high points for smarts when you consistently forget to coach half the team.

OK. You’ll probably contradict yourself…

7. Phil Fulmer

Dr. Evil has slipped a bit in recent years, but he’s still a threat each time out. Program-wise, you simply can’t argue with what he’s done at UT. As for smarts, he destroyed a rival for years without taking the field.

I’m confused. Dr. Evil? Still a threat each time out…like a security threat? He destroyed a rival for years without taking the field? Huh? Are you talking about Vanderbilt, coached by the great Bobby Johnson? Or Florida, who he rarely beats? Or Spurrier, who he rarely beats? Maybe I’m missing something here…someone help.

6. Nick Saban

5. Sylvester Croom

He’s classy, he’s a heck of a coach and he’s slowly brought respectability to an MSU program that was absolutely pathetic when he took over. The fact that the Bulldogs are even somewhat competitive in such a short time is astounding. Croom has done very little wrong.

Every single thing you say here, Rich Brooks has done. And Brooks has been better. You don’t make sense.

Croom has a record of 17-30 while at MSU. They had a great year last year. Also, thy won 3 games in each of his first three years. 3 years is not a “short time.”

Fifth best coach in the SEC?!?!?!?

4. Tommy Tuberville

3. Steve Spurrier

Watching Spurrier exploit opposing defenses is like watching an artist paint. The guy’s an absolute master at it. His biggest problem is that the this USC program can only go so far. I took away points for him staying there even after realizing that.

Remember what you said about Petrino? That should go for Spurrier, too. He has underachieved at USCjr, there’s no question about that. South Carolina is a hot-bed for talent, and Spurrier gets it, but he hasn’t done much with it. Again, if we are looking at the whole body of work, than fine. However, Brooks was held to a different standard.

And good work deducting points for loyalty in that little fake, untrue scenario you dreamed up. If being loyal is bad,  Petrino should have 18653 gatrabillitrillion points.

Oh, watching an artist paint would be painfully boring. Watching Spurrier’s offense work is highly enjoyable.

2. Urban Meyer

Meyer’s good — possibly the best in the conference — but he’s also a bit inexperienced in the SEC. His first couple of seasons were awesome. The question is whether or not his spread style offense can dominate year in and year out. If last year is any indication, the rest of the league is catching up a bit. We’ll see.

Florida doesn’t play great defense. I guess that doesn’t matter to you anymore. They were seventh in the SEC in total defense, worst in pass defense.

And the rest of the league is catching up? How? Here are Florida’s point totals last year: 49, 59, 59, 30, 20 (against stoopid ol’ Les Miles), 28, 45, 42, 49, 51, 59, 45, and 41. They were third in the country in scoring. Pretty impressive, considering the defenses they faced.

Yup. We got him figured out.

1. Mark Richt

Sure. I guess. However, there are five coaches (almost six with Tuberville) on this list that have won National Championships–and Richt has not. Oh, I forgot, you don’t care about championships.

This is no easy list to make. However, consistency would have been nice. And there is no way that Bobby Johnson, who has beaten Brooks once in five tries, deserves to be ranked anywhere but last.

Article written by Evan Hilbert