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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

With rivals like these, who needs enemas?

Actually, drunkenness would explain a lot of this.

Our very dear friends down in Knoxville have had some… interesting legal troubles in the last 24 hours after an on-campus fraternity was sanctioned for improper alcohol use.  Improper not meaning “excessive,” in this case, but rather “Why are you doing that it shouldn’t go in that hole you’re doing it backwards.”  From The Tennesseean:

A University of Tennessee fraternity is facing suspension after an alleged “alcohol enema” incident at the chapter’s house on campus over the weekend.

Investigators are working to determine if Broughton was assaulted or made the decision to engage in the behavior himself.

There is no information regarding whether Tyler Bray was present at the party, but no partygoers were injured by thrown glass bottles, so officials believe his involvement is unlikely.  Bruce Pearl was waiting outside in his fanciest orange blazer, insisting that he was invited.  But this is just the latest in a string of trouble for the University, and particularly the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter:

This is not the first time that UT’s PIKE chapter has run into trouble. In 2008, the chapter was placed on administrative suspension after a hazing incident where pledges were allegedly asked to do push-ups on broken glass. Three students were later hospitalized with staph infections.

To be fair, it’s difficult to say whether the hazing caused the staph; it’s absurdly easy to get infections in Knoxville.  But other students on campus know to stay away from this particular University of Tennessee fraternity, even when they’re not getting freaky with Smirnoff suppositories:

Good for Erica.  Unfortunately, not every can be so wise.  Even in spite of the fraternity’s history with trouble, folks apparently still choose to attend their parties.  Then again, the judgment of those who choose to attend the University of Tennessee is suspect from the start.  It’s no wonder, then, that poor decisions like these abound.

In spite of all the concern, the investigation into last night’s incident was met with setbacks when a fraternity member explained how the alcohol was inserted into his friend’s rectum, to which the officer responded, “Rectum! Dang near killed ‘im!”

Article written by Corey Nichols

21 Comments for With rivals like these, who needs enemas?

  1. TAXman
    9:04 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    “you’re doing it backwards” haha i lol’d at that.

  2. FatGirlsDon'tHaveNames
    9:04 am September 25, 2012 Permalink


  3. eh
    9:17 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    We get politics posts and posts about TV shows.

    How about just a small post about the play last night that hopefully brings back the refs to the NFL.
    Game Stolen.

  4. Will S
    9:28 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    The fact that the Police are not sure whether this was hazing or voluntary behavior is… awkward.

  5. Oogie
    9:31 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Thems are some UGLY UT fans right there

  6. dont laugh
    10:08 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Maybe our orange friends to the south have come up with a way to get over a pathetic football season. Pour a pint of tennessee’s finest (Jack Danials) down your poop hole and you’ll be so drunk you wont even know UK is playing football. It is a lot quicker than actually drinking it. Just gotta find a “friend” who is willing to get intimate with your tail pipe. Just surprised a crew from da’ville didn’t come up with this little “trick.”

  7. Tyler Bray
    10:10 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Buttweiser… my beverage of choice!

  8. Tyler Bray
    10:12 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Followed in a close second with Sierra Nevada Tail Ale

  9. Tyler Bray
    10:14 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Puts a new meaning to “getting drunk of your A$$”

  10. Tyler Bray
    10:15 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    “drunk off*”

  11. ThoseGuysAreHardcore
    10:23 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    I will never understand the need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to partying. I mean, seriously, who has such a hard time getting hammered the traditional ways that they have to come up with alcohol enemas and bath salts?

  12. teachervvj
    10:23 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    My sources in Knoxville are reporting that Tyler Bray is now having full time security
    after the “butt chugging” incidents were reported. Coach Dooley is afraid that Bray will
    try the same thing with the entire beer bottle.

  13. RealCatsFan
    10:38 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Dude on the left looks like he’s about 40. In the words of Bluto, “Seven years of college, down the drain!”

  14. jhnny
    10:44 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    This article should express the very real dangers of digesting alcohol in that manner. Its very dangerous, as the alcohol gets directly to your bloodstream without any breakdown. Most people don’t realize that your digestive system does a very good job of breaking down and eliminating the vast majority of alcohol you consume from drinks. Only a very small amount of alcohol actually makes it into your bloodstream when you drink alcohol (and yet you can still drink yourself to death). But this form of ingestion doesn’t digest any of the alcohol.

  15. 84Cat
    11:12 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    #7 is the winner. priceless! Seriously, this is just sad.

  16. SoCal Will
    11:27 am September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Probably best sheep near Knoxville can’t talk….

  17. e bruh
    12:35 pm September 25, 2012 Permalink

    dude on the right looks like the guy from mississippi burning from the scene where gene hachman is in the bar and grabs him by the nuts and kicks his ass

  18. C-Bone
    12:36 pm September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Was the same tube used in succession for everyone? Eww.

  19. rich
    12:43 pm September 25, 2012 Permalink

    I am a 48 year old drunk, please someone tell me the logic behind this. Drunk faster i assume. Have i missed something? If so, don’t i feel stupid!

  20. Manbearpig
    3:08 pm September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Pikes in general just push the line of going full retard

  21. Mitch Connor
    5:46 pm September 25, 2012 Permalink

    Damn barbarians