I’m not really sure how this stayed quiet for so long, but Spain’s biggest (literally) fan and new Houston Rocket Patrick Patterson will participate in a celebrity soccer game at the MLS All-Star Game festivities tonight. Unfortunately for everyone who enjoys soccer players writhing in pain on the pitch, he won’t be suiting up. Instead, he will be doing his best Calipari (or Clyde) impression and coaching his scrappy bunch of soccer legends against a team led by Phife from A Tribe Called Quest. The other “celebrities” participating are former Astros manager Phil Garner, women’s soccer legends Brandi Chastain and Joy Fawcett, a bunc of ex-Houston Texans, former US Men’s players Jeff Agoos, Eric Wynalda, Alexei Lalas, Tab Ramos, Marcel Balboa and John Harkes and, most importantly, Slim Thug, a Matt Jones favorite.
Before his shocking multi-year deal from the Cavs last week, Samardo Samuels was slated to work at the concession stand on near the east entrance.