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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Who Wants to be a Blogger: Contestant #4 Randy Jordan

**After sorting through hundreds of thousands of contestants interested in being a blogger at Kentucky Sports Radio (now approved by the Sporting News!), we’ve picked some finalists that we think would be a nice addition to our team. Now, it’s up to you, sweet readers, to determine who deserves to carry Matt Jones’ tray in the cafeteria and occasionally pick up his dry-cleaning. Each day this week, we’ll give you two entries and the opinions of our judges. Let us know what you think of each contestant in the comments.

Name: Randy Jordan

Favorite KSR Moment: LOL, LOL Oh,your serious. Ok, how about you and your crew blogging from the SEC tournament this past year.

Favorite UK Player of all Time: Todd Ziegler (Im not joking)

Something unique about me: I used Kige Ramsey’s picks for my nfl pickem league week 2.

First, I want to scream “CONSPIRACY!!”, as my initial blog entry that won me a spot in the top 15 is better than anything that I am about to write here. Matt “Namedrop Jones”, obviously, thought I was hitting too close to home with my “matt jones will drop a name any chance he gets” entry that mocked him and all of his alleged “celebrity friends”. My guess is that Turkey Hunter liked my entry and made Matt expand his finalists from 10 to 15. Thank you, Turkey Hunter!!

As for a 2008-2009 UK Basketball Preview, how about a 2008-2009 UK Media Preview instead? I will leave all the team previews to all the other suck.. uh finalists. Since Matt gave a half ass attempt at UK media approval ratings (a blatant ripoff of Deadspin by the way), I will give you my “expert” opinion on the people who will be broadcasting the cats this year. Besides, I dont want Matt to do any more damage to his relationships with all his “uk media buddies”. Let the healing begin between Matt and Chris Cross.

UK basketball in November means BIG BLUE NETWORK and, of course, that means Dave “Buzz” Baker, Kyle Macy and the infamous “inside the huddle” with Rob Bromley. First, can we all agree to lay off Rob Bromley? The man was replaced on play by play for Buzz Baker and all his “good ole boy” humor. If I was Rob, I would be phoning in those “inside the huddle” scoops too. As for Kyle, the man was much better when he was on the radio doing games with Ralph Hacker. I just don’t think he likes Buzz very much. In fact, I don’t like Buzz very much. He and Raycom are screwing up my potential “Madness,Keeneland, Football trifecta” next weekend. Hey, I have to blame somebody, right?

70% of the upcoming season will be broadcasted on CBS or ESPN, which means we will get 70% of the UK games in HD. I will be the first to admit, I have been spoiled by the greatness of HD. If you are not broacasting the game in HD, then you might as well be broacasting in black and white. It makes game viewing that much better. CBS has, finally, parted ways with Billy Packer, and I for one am really upset about this. Is Clark Kellog really a step up here? I say no, besides, you may not admit it now, but your going to miss screaming “PACKER SUCKS” when he is not calling our CBS games this year at Rupp. We needed Packer and Packer needed us. If CBS is broadcasting our game, I hope and pray that they send, not Nantz, but Gus “freaking” Johnson. I would listen to Gus call a funeral. I know that everyone in “blog world” loves Gus, but I may be Gus’s #1 fan (Not Bill Simmons). You know the importance of the UK game by the CBS announcer that is sent to cover the game. Jim Nantz(Big Ga me), Verne Lunquist and Gus Johnson,Bill Rafferty(Really Good Game)Ian Eagle and Dan Bonner(CBS thinks our game sucks and are wondering why they ever scheduled it to begin with)

ESPN gives us a wide variety announcer options. Obviously, big game status will get Dick Vitale. Now, I know that the fanbase has banded together to hate on Dicky V for his recent comments, but if he is at rupp then you know that the game is somewhat of important to the college basketball sporting world. If you hate him that much, turn the volume downand listen to Tom Leach and Mike Pratt. Besides, Dicky V is getting up there in age. It would not surpise me one bit if he goes mental one game and starts groping Erin Andrews. That would be must see TV. If we don’t get Vitale, then we will likely get the duo of Brad Nessler and Jimmy Dykes. Dykes has lost all credibility with me after that duet he did during a game last year. Just stick to mediocre analysis Jimmy, please. Nessler is ok, but Jimmy still leaves a taste of Dwayne Casey and Fedex packages in my mouth, that I just can’t get rid of.

So there you have it, your 2008-2009 UK Media Preview. Matt, if any of the above names gets offended, im sure you can smooth it out with them over a round of golf at Valhalla.



Evan: Um, well…yes, Dick Vitale groping Erin Andrews would be must see TV. Also, when you speak, do you use a lot of air quotes ala Dr. Evil?

Beisner:  Ok, let’s see. I’ll give you props for thinking outside of the box and choosing to do your preview on the media covering the games instead actually previewing the team. I’m a big fan of gambles. But, maybe you shouldn’t have written your post on “opposite day”. From your decision to employ reverse capitalization throughout your post to your decision to endorse Billy Packer, you certainly didn’t roll with what I expected. Overall, not a bad effort, but you can definitely step it up (trust me, you’re just scratching the surface on the Matt Jones jokes) and capitalize on a few good things (<– that was a pun).  You labeled Nantz as “Big Ga Me”, making me think you are attracted to him, which is a little too much info, but you showed that you were a gambling man from the beginning and I can‘t fault you for that. If you’re in the next round, just make sure you’re going all-in with a little better hand.  All in all, not awful.

Tomlin: That was a little pitchy for me, dog. While a part of me really enjoyed the rant-style of your piece (Is this Katman2000?), there were times I felt it was focused a little more on you than on your topics. That may be just a pet peeve of mine, but when I read a columnist who offers more “I’s” than “they’s,” I sometimes start to zone. There’s a big place for opinion on this site (obviously), but I felt that at times you were more focused on introducing the world to you than to your subjects. This sounds harsh, but I don’t mean it to be. I thought you actually had several ideas in this post that could have been their own unique pieces. You brought up the HD aspect, for example — I think you could have written a really fun column on the differences in watching a game in HD vs. standard. Another great piece might have been exploring how Kellogg can take Packer’s mantle. I felt that you touched on some really great topics, but didn’t really explore any of them well enough, and the result was rather Rome-esque. Overall, you have some great ideas. I’d suggest honing in on a couple and finding the great material within them. I think you’d find you have more in your back pocket to work with than you brought here — definite potential, you might just want to tone it down a couple o’ decibels. Rein it in a little and give us more.

Mosley: Seriously, Beisner and Tomlin get the “and Telma Hopkins as “Rachel”” treatment again, while Evan and I go underline-less. Matt Jones is trying to separate us into classes. It’s class warfare. He’s a classist. Anyway, on to the topic at hand: Malted Milk Balls: Love them or hate them. No, no, let’s critique what we see above us, instead. I actually liked that you chose to disobey Matt’s orders because I rarely do anything that Matt asks me to. Sometimes, I choose to do the exact opposite. Example: Matt once asked me to pick him up at the airport. I, instead, burned his house down. Not a bad approach and you obviously know of which you speak. You have a fantastic grasp of the announcer rosters and are able to intelligently discuss their foibles. You even mention Ian Eagle, which I appreciate, although I always think of teenagers flying F-14’s and Louis Gosset, Jr. when I hear his name. Actually thought that “Vitale groping Erin Andrews” was too obvious, considering that your setup–Vitale goes senile–could have led to any number of wonderful possibilities. I also would’ve like to have seen you explore the idea of Gus Johnson calling a funeral. Overall, a pretty good, but uneven, take on the announcer situation. I would have liked to have seen you more fully develop your analysis and use this structure to build on the comedy you have in there. Maybe it would’ve worked better had you had a paragraph devoted to each announcer or announcing team and then analyzed that. As it stands, the post could use some more meat on its bones. Also, before the grammar police point it out, you spelled “you’re” as “your”. It’s not a big deal in my opinion, but know that to some people it completely invalidates your entire post even it is Shakespearean in quality.

Matt Jones: There is something to be said for taking the Sarah Palin approach of “I will not answer any question that I dont want to answer and will speak directly to the American (blog) people.” But not much to be said about it. I actually really enjoyed your initial entry making fun of me, and maybe at some point it will see the light of day. However this wasnt your best work. I just wasnt feeling it dog.

Article written by Matt Jones