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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Who Wants to Be a Blogger: #12 Corey Robertson

**After sorting through hundreds of thousands of contestants interested in being a blogger at Kentucky Sports Radio (now approved by the Sporting News!), we’ve picked some finalists that we think would be a nice addition to our team. Now, it’s up to you, sweet readers, to determine who deserves to carry Matt Jones’ tray in the cafeteria and occasionally pick up his dry-cleaning. Each day this week, we’ll give you two entries and the opinions of our judges. Let us know what you think of each contestant in the comments.

Name:  Corey Robertson

Favorite KSR Moment: Even though it’s recent this is still the funniest thing I’ve ever read on the site.

Favorite UK Player of All Time: I was a big Gimel Martinez fan when I was little. More recently, Erik Daniels.

Something Unique: I’m married to a huge Louisville fan, but that hasn’t changed my hatred for them

2008-2009 UK Basketball Preview

To preview the upcoming basketball season, I decided to consult with my crystal ball to get a glimpse as to what the future will actually hold for the Cats. My crystal ball, of course, being my copy of College Hoops 2K8 for the Xbox360.

Getting started proved to be more difficult than one would imagine. Because this is last years version of the game with last years rosters, I first had to fast forward through the ’07-’08 season. This left me with a roster that was vastly different than what is reported on UKAthletics.com. Guys that I had never heard of were on the roster. Derrick Jasper? Morakinyo Williams? Alex Legion? Jared Carter?

Here are the steps I took to get the roster up to date:
1) Rename Derrick Jasper to Kevin Galloway. Change Skin Tone to Dark 1.
2) Change Patrick Patterson’s Hair from Crop to Afro 3.
3) Rename Random Freshman 1 to DeAndre Liggins. Change Speed to 99.
4) Rename Random Freshman 2 to Darius Miller. Change Skin Tone from Turkey Hunter White to Dark 2.
5) Rename Alex Legion to Donald Williams. Change Crazy from 800,000 to 12.
6) Rename Morakinyo Williams to Josh Harrell (Harrelson is not in the name database). Change apparel from Athletic 4 to Jorts 2.
7) Rename Jared Carter to Dwight Perry. No other changes needed.

With the roster set, I let the game work its magic, and I think the results are pretty close to what most close to the program are expecting.

Patrick Patterson (20.1 PPG, 6.4 RPG, 1.0 BPG, 267 FTA)
Despite what you may be hearing other places, Patrick will be an integral part of this year’s team. You heard it here first folks. He will lead the team in points, rebounds, free throw attempts, and afro’s (with 1).

Jodie Meeks (18.1 PPG, 4.0 RPG, 2.8 APG, 1.5 SPG, 36.2% 3 point FG% )
Jodie will prove that he is back to 100% by showcasing the Meeks that we were expecting last season. He displays that he is capable of being the go-to guy, scoring 30+ 5 times during the season. Being the only real 3 point threat on the team, he will attempt a team high 204 three pointers.

As expected, Patterson and Meeks turn out to be the only “big-time” scorers on the team. The rest of the points seem to come from a scoring committee, with every one pitching in a little.

Perry Stevenson (6.1 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 1.7 BPG)
Perry appears to have fallen back into the shadow of Patterson, not showing the aggressiveness that he showed while Patrick was sidelined last season. He produces numbers nearly identical to last season.

Donald Williams (6.0 PPG, 2.0 APG, 1.0 SPG)
Williams becomes a solid contributor by mid-season, ending up averaging 6 points per game. He will however have the worst 3 point percentage on the team, shooting only 15% behind the arc. He will immediately regret spending his summer at the Rajon Rondo Clinic For Players Who Can’t Shoot Good (And Want To Learn To Do Other Things Good Too) in Boston.

Kevin Galloway (5.5 PPG, 4.4 APG, 4 RPG, 1.6 SPG)
Galloway immediately becomes a Gillispie favorite, with his unselfish play, aggressive defense, and willingness to crash the offensive and defensive glass. Leads the team in steals and assists.

Liggins, Porter and Harris were also selected for the committee, each averaging right around 5 points per game.

Season Notes
The Cats get going strong early in the season, taking out the Heels at Chapel Hill, and winning the tournament in Vegas, before dropping one to Miami in Rupp. They put a hurting on the rest of the cupcake teams like Rick Majerus puts a hurting on actual cupcakes, before dropping the final non-conference contest to Lil Brother. (Terrence Michael Augustus Williams III puts up 24P, 14R, 10A)

SEC play starts miserably, with 3 straight double digit losses, including Vandy in Rupp, before they get rolling. They end up splitting with South Carolina, and losing to LSU and Alabama to finish the SEC 10-6, good enough for 2nd in the East.

Tampa turns out to be Atlanta south, as a hurricane destroys the St. Pete Times Forum before the end of the 2nd session of the SEC Tourney (Video games are very realistic these days). Despite the rioting and destruction throughout the city, the tournament must continue, so it is relocated to Sickles High School in Tampa, where the Cats win 3 straight to become SEC Tournament Champs. Their play is so impressive, Sickles star player John Henson backs out of his commitment to North Carolina to become a Cat.

UK is fortunate that the selection committee decides to have an online poll determine the #1 seeds for this year’s tournament. That’s the only logical way I see how the game decided to give them a one seed. They roll like a one seed should, only to stumble and lose to Arizona in the elite eight, by 30.

Meeks makes the 1st team All-SEC, and Patterson makes the 2nd team. Korvortney Barber wins SEC Player of the Year, and Luke Nevil from Utah wins NCAA Player of the year.

Bad news comes in the off-season as Jodie Meeks decides to enter the NBA draft where he is projected to be a lottery pick. More bad news as A.J. Stewart transfers to Stetson and Jared Carter transfers to South Carolina State. Also transferring are Nick Calathes, Jai Lucas, Chandler Parsons, Anthony Randolph and Jerryd Bayless?? What?? Some of those guys aren’t even in college anymore!! Why would Bayless even go to South Alabama? This is the stupidest game I’ve ever seen in my life. No way any of this stuff actually happens. I take back everything I’ve said so far.

Cats go undefeated and Patrick Patterson averages 77 points per game. Mark it down.

Evan: This is creative, funny, and well-written. Go forth and prosper young (old?) man. This may be my favorite thus far. Although, ESPN already thought of the video game/real person dichotomy, and when employed on the NFL Live set, it’s creepy. You pulled it off, however, without life size cyber athletes prancing around on that fake football field with Steve Young. Great job.

Tomlin: Nice job. I especially liked the little touches, like the box scores. That put things in a good context. Also, it’s funny AND informative (a stellar combo — who knew?). I’d like to see another from you in the second round, and see if you’re consistent. Because I felt like you spent a lot of time on this. Maybe, just as an exercise, give yourself a limited amount of time on the next round — just to see how you’d handle doing a game recap within a couple of hours or so after a game. That said, excellent job of giving us information before you gave us the funny. But thanks for giving both. I’ll definitely put you near the top of the pack at this point. Kudos.

Matt Jones: Big fan of this….creative, funny and different. I think you did very well.

Beisner:  Corey, this was awesome.  I’m a big fan of video games and, just between me and you, I simulate the UK football game on NCAA 09 before I go on Gidel’s radio show every week and then use that to pick my score.  This was a very thorough and very entertaining post.  You score high in quality and creativity.

Article written by Thomas Beisner