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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

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Nestled underneath a story about the Octomom losing her house and a few notches below Jesse James’ mistress posing in Nazi pictures, TMZ has a familiar story. The post yesterday by Will Lentz about the young lady celebrating her 16th birthday party with the UK basketball team has made its way to the doer of ESPN’s dirty work, Thirty Mile Zone dot com. But, unlike all of the other high quality reports on the site, this one lacks salacious details and only gives props to the Cats for their good deeds. This, of course, means that in addition to everyone from Pikeville to Paducah and everyone in China, this team now has the hearts of every catty skank in my office, who have all forwarded me this story now.

In unrelated news, as we all continue to struggle with the ending of Dan Werner’s American basketball career, it’s important to remember that people elsewhere are actually happy about this. In fact, most of those people reside in Gainesville. This picture was taken at the Salty Dog in Gainesville after yesterday’s loss.

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It also reminds me of my favorite Dan Werner story of all time. I was told by my friend that he once saw Dan Werner in a bar confrontation and the only reason it settled down was because his opponent was convinced that beating up Dan Werner could result in a medical redshirt, thus prolonging his eligibility.

Dan Werner, we miss you already.

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Article written by Thomas Beisner