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What Indiana Now Means to Me

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I never used to dislike Indiana, not even a little bit. Coming into the last week, I considered my Hated Rivals as Louisville, Duke and Tennessee in some order, depending on the day. Indiana was an afterthought, and a team for which I actually had a small degree of affection. Having produced two of the most certifiably crazy head coaches in recent college basketball (Bobby Knight and Mike Davis), another habitual cheater (Kelvin Sampson) and now a Dwight Schrute clone (Tom Crean), Indiana struck me as a program more to laugh with than have hatred towards. Indiana for me has been a lot like the caller “The Truth” to my radio show, loud, silly and so out of the mainstream conversation that they were worthy of nothing but a chuckle and a happy pat on the back.

But that isn’t the Indiana program we are faced with now. Based in part on a miracle run through programs like Savannah State and San Francisco, and culminating in a road victory over the Jan Brady of the Triangle, NC State, Indiana fans are now coming into Saturday’s game brimming with confidence. I personally don’t get it. Is there anyone on Indiana’s roster for which you would trade one member of Kentucky’s top 6? A case could be made for Cody Zeller, but with Kentucky’s current front line, the reality is that he simply wouldn’t start on this team. Indiana is good, but Kentucky is simply much better. That doesn’t mean indiana CAN’T win…in a one-game scenario, they can. But there is no argument that Kentucky is not only the favorite, but also the substantially better team/program.

On the radio show, I dubbed Indiana, “the Vienna Sausage of college basketball.” Everyone over 25 remembers Vienna sausage (or as we say it in the mountains, Vi-eeenie Sausage). It is the canned meat substance favored by old and cheap Americans as a method of eating something resembling protein, while also maintaining its status as quite possibly the grossest food product known to man. Like indiana basketball, there was a time that Vienna sausages were considered acceptable nourishment and a part of most American families’ diets. In the 60s, 70s and even the 80s, Vienna sausages could be found in many cabinets across America’s heartland, just as Indiana was a part of most major college basketball discussions. But now, the idea of eating Vienna sausages is repulsive to most sane people. If you want cheap food, go to McDonald’s and get a $1 cheeseburger. There is no level of despair that justifies eating these meat-reject weenies, just as there is no level of desperation that would make a future NBA player without in-state tuition or a buzz cut go to Indiana.

We as Americans have moved on to other disgusting hazardous food products, just as college basketball has long left behind the crimson and white. The candy-striped pants, nameless jerseys and players who are in it for god, country and IU basketball are all well and good, but that act has been overcome by an era of hip-hop, dipsy-do-dunkaroo and “one and done.” Even the schools that still attempt to win the old way (like Duke), do it better and more annoyingly than IU could ever dream. The Hoosiers are a relic from the past and their fall has been so precipitous that one road game win against a Mark Gottfried-coached team coming off a losing record is considered reason for celebration. The idea of Indiana and of potted meat, is still intriguing and good for playful nostalgia. But one would never argue that either is still a relevant delicacy. When it comes to Saturday, lets be real Indiana fans…we are Kentucky…you are Indiana. We have Calipari…you have Crean. We have Davis, Jones, Kidd-Gilchrist and Lamb…you have the best Zeller and guys who hope to be one day hear their name called by the Idaho Stampede in the D-League. You Hoosiers are a nice story. And maybe one day you might hope to finish above Northwestern again in the Big Ten. But you will never be an elite program again, and on Saturday Kentucky’s five superstars and nine eyebrows will remind you of your place yet again.

Article written by Matt Jones

82 Comments for What Indiana Now Means to Me



  1. Max Payne
    1:05 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Hey now. Don’t be a hater. Vieeennnnnes are goooooood.



  2. Craig
    1:06 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    We’re gonna win by 30 big’uns



  3. bekster63
    1:07 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Brilliant… we want more more MORE!!!



  4. Lincoln Park
    1:08 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Hoosier = West Virginian mountain tramps. Not even kidding – look it up.



  5. stuckatwork
    1:08 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    This is just fantastic. Thanks Matt.



  6. The Source
    1:09 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Seriously, this is an insult to vienna sausages everywhere. When outdoors, these little morsels are the meal of choice for a large number of Americans. Matt, you have gone over the line on this one!!!



  7. Bubba Earl
    1:09 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Are they, (Indiana) barbecue, smokey, or original in flavor, or do they cover the gamut?



  8. I hate Duke
    1:09 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great post Matt. Loved the “9 eyebrows”….classic!



  9. RidgeRunner
    1:10 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    The barbeque flavored veeenies aren’t bad. Now what the hell were ya sayin, Matt?



  10. catcrawler
    1:10 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    it’s all about the Teague- Hulls battle.



  11. joe m
    1:13 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Matt, you’just not old enough. The fans in the Joe Hall era certainly don’t feel that way. After the head slap the General put on Coach Hall after a game at their place. He and Ind. went to the top of our list. It was always a good win for me, especially after we knocked them out of the NCAA one year after they beat us early in the season.



  12. RidgeRunner
    1:13 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    11…
    Up = 2 or more ya make “Vomit”
    Set= 2 or more doin’ it.



  13. JPhelps
    1:16 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I think it’s 11 eyebrows. Darius gets left out because he doesn’t start!



  14. RidgeRunner
    1:17 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I have no problem for schools who maintain the “old way” (Penn State uniforms but not conduct..heh?, umm…IU’s colors/stripes…suck to look at it, but its a tradition thing -so I get it. Something can be said for schools who don’t change to the flavor of the month.

    So…I dunno, I get the old school stuff even though I hate many of these teams (Duke, IU, etc..).



  15. Kaboom
    1:18 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Matt couldnt have put it any better. They dug their graves with their conceited statements all week and while they mightve snuck up on us originally, but there is no way Cal after all this allows the upset. And yeah Cal has the ultimate will to decide games based on his intentions. #CanYouCountToEight



  16. IAmSaulSmith
    1:18 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    darius isn’t a super star?



  17. Robby
    1:20 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    The Jan Brady of the Triangle!!!!! Classic!!!!!



  18. macon_volfan
    1:21 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    No way Vienna Sausages are nastier than “potted meat product.”

    Yuck.



  19. vienna fan
    1:22 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I am a fan of vienna sausages. Let me explain. I hunt and fish for many hours without access to a food source so vienna sausages provide a quick snack that does not require refrigeration or preparation. I will say that the juice is a very good catfish attractor when poured in to the water. There is an analogy there somewhere I am sure.



  20. Gilchrist on D
    1:23 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I don’t care about what their either (meth-head fans) or (pompous, nerdy, hairy Jewish student) fan base says, but they are getting better. They have good recruits coming in, so I don’t know about ‘never again.’ That said, we win by 8 and it’s not that close



  21. Jack
    1:24 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    You need to find the clip of Mike Davis loosing his mind, and run it on a loop.



  22. Gilchrist on D
    1:24 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I don’t care about what their either (meth-head fans) or (pompous, nerdy, hairy big nosed student) fan base says, but they are getting better. They have good recruits coming in, so I don’t know about ‘never again.’ That said, we win by 8 and it’s not that close



  23. capnmonkey
    1:26 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great feeling: Listening to the end of the radio show and then tossing your headphones on your desk and heading to the gym and to grab some lunch

    Horrible feeling: Getting back to your desk and putting your headphones back on and being assaulted by Dave Ramsey and feeling guilty about your gym membership and three dollar frozen lunch



  24. Kaboom
    1:28 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Hate Day! Hate Day! Hate Day!…and more justified for tommorrow than at any other time in recent memory.



  25. UK owns the tards
    1:28 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    IU and their ignorant fanbase are like a festering boil on the earth’s butt. I can only hope UK lances that boil Saturday.



  26. Jason
    1:29 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Indiana fans are my reminder that it could always get worse, when I get frustrated with our team. (I am in no way implying that I am unhappy thus far, but the 2010 elite-8 game gave me an excuse to use this.)



  27. Its Miller Time
    1:29 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Well put Matt, well put.



  28. Blue-Haze
    1:31 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Darius is representing the state of Kentucky very well!!



  29. Wildcatfan
    1:34 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I am ashamed of you Matt. How can you insult a perfectly good Vienna Sausage by using an analogy that compares to indiana basketball. I actually like Vienna Sausages. They are a handy thing to take on a fishing trip along with a package of crackers and bottle of hot sauce. Vienna Sausages are closer to a real delicacy that indiana is to real basketball.



  30. R K Oates
    1:35 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    they will have their game faces on..just go to you tube and type in Bobby Knight game face and that will just about sum it up….Indiana I O U one big a** kicking!



  31. mega tron
    1:37 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    9 eyebrows line-epic



  32. bluetooth
    1:40 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    matt , i was introduced to vi-eeenies and potted meat , hot sauce and crackers while fishing yellow creek behind east end baptist church in the boro . still love the stuff to this day . god only knows why



  33. optimus
    1:42 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    lets rename the eruption zone the 10th brow.



  34. knightynight
    1:45 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I take the side of the argument that the Indiana fans are doing us a favor. Talking this game up to way more than it is, just causes more people/recruits to watch the game. Then the truth will be told….Also, I love creating more rivalries (well we know a rivalry requires good competition).



  35. Ned Zeppelin
    1:48 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    #7. The last time IU was any good, they only had Original.



  36. KY Proud
    1:50 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great post! Well-played sir.



  37. Denny Crum
    1:51 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    #36. bet they are “Crispy”, just like a bunch of KFC on New Year’s Eve!



  38. Al's IndiCats
    1:52 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Matt I agree with 12, living up in Indy I always used to catch hell when the annual UK IU game and come win or lose I caught hell after it also. But just remember a few short years ago we would’ve been frothing at the chops to have a Zeller on campus, much less sign one. I always looked forward to this game for two reasons. (1) Bragging rights the rest of the season, (2) To show these Hoosiers that they’re not the only game in town. I’ve hated everything there was to hate about IU. Once my wife’s cousin gave me an IU CPO jacket for Christmas. A few weeks afterwards they came over and I had a nice fire stoked in the fireplace and when he asked about the fire I showed him that half that jacket was already gone. I told him you can’t waste a good fire starter on one fire.



  39. DREWBLUE
    1:52 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Matt Jones just might be the funniest human being I have yet to meet.



  40. tfordstyle
    1:52 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Two words.
    Boo. Yah.

    Lovin’ it matt.



  41. Nassau65
    1:53 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    you done messed around a gave Vienna’s a bad name.
    #AnthonyDavissaysshutup, and he means it. There will be plenty of shutup to go around saturday afternoon.
    I had previously thought this might be a close game, but naaaa. Cats by 17.
    IU sucks and so does BTI (but i miss him).



  42. Cardinal Hater
    1:56 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Maybe the BEST post EVER!!!



  43. Dead Catfish
    1:57 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    #20 must not be much of a hunter or fisherman.



  44. SuperTroy
    2:08 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Matt…this is your finest post in a long long time. You took the words right outta my mouth. I didn’t mind IU fans for years, and this week has reminded me how incredibly atrocious they can be and currently are. We need to crush them, humiliate and humble them and send them back to their mediocre records and First Round Big Ten Tourney exits. It feels like Superman is stepping up to a playground bully and saying “Pick on somebody your own size.”

    And number 26? Sick…I love the analogy…but, sick.



  45. mgcat
    2:08 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great post, Matt – finest in quite a while. GO Cats! Lets crush these red and white yahoos into a greasy pink paste (not unlike smashed Vienna sausages)!



  46. Jen
    2:11 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Its pretty much like Billy G’s first year, we had Crawford, Bradley and our “Zeller” Patterson! Indiana was ranked high and we thought we had a chance but that was Eric Gordon’s team and they beat us by 40pts! Dame scenario here, we just will out talent them the way they did us that year!



  47. Ironic
    2:11 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great comparison, Matt. Ironic, because my grandfather used the term “little wieners” for both Vienna sausages and IU fans.



  48. 7mm-08
    2:13 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I’m just a couple of years older than Matt but as a child Indiana was my most hated rival. I ended up marrying a Hoosier (not an IU fan) and IU has sucked for so long that the hatred had died and was replaced with pity. Thankfully, the IU fans have ran their mouth so much that my hatred has risen from the ashes. I had forgotten how much fun it is to despise the Hoosiers.



  49. Upper Section Student
    2:13 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Why are they so obsessed with the quote, “hustle beats talent when talent doesn’t hustle.” That’s basically saying, we have mediocre players that try really hard, so if this team with quality players comes in and farts around, we will most likely win.



  50. UKGoBigBlue
    2:19 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    If you remember, IU fans were even somehow trying to talk smack before John Wall came in and dunked all over them. They were even worse back then, and they were still running their mouths.

    As the saying goes: it’s better to keep your mouth shut & be thought of as a fool then to open your mouth & remove all doubt.

    Good post Matthew



  51. Tennessee Wildcat
    2:22 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I remember plainly how arrogant Indiana used to be when Knight of the jerks was head coach there. It is always a huge win to take care of business against IU and it is important to bury them tomorrow in Assembly Hall. IU is better this year than the past few, but if we play our game, it will be over with 15 minutes to go. I’m glad we will have them at either Louisville or Rupp next year, because Crean will have quite a bit more talent coming in next year. I did see where he has signed at least two top twenty players for next year. The cats will still be better! Go Big Blue and send them crying and wishing for the 1970s.



  52. Lovely
    2:26 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Come on, don’t insult Northwestern by comparing them to Indiana. I hold a soft spot for our fellow Wildcats.



  53. GapToothDanny
    2:27 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Is this the same Tom Crean that created Dwayne Wade and knocked UK out of the final four?



  54. ibleedblu
    2:30 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    nine eyebrows. hilarious



  55. MN CAT
    2:46 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Ouch. This could have been written about us a few years ago.



  56. Mack
    2:54 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I guess my hate for the candy strips began well before you were born but I am happy to see the light come on for some of you young fellows so you may continue the hate for any and every thing IU.



  57. No lie
    2:54 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I once knew a guy that drank the “juice” when he was finished with the sausages. I still get nauseous thinking about it



  58. HellCat
    3:00 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Just wait Big Blue Nation till you get a glimpse at Clappy the Clowns Cirque de Assemble atmsophere and the ridiculous cardboard big heads that are all over the retard student section. Going to an IU game these days is like watching a special ed class. Look! Corky the IU student has a Tom Arnold big head and he’s trying to make UK miss a free throw. Nice unoriginal stolen, lame idea cream. Clappy the Clown thinks it’s all about the show and the slope headed drooling hoosier masses will buy his sh!t product if he puts on a good carnival freakshow. Hoosiers love freakshows……look at their football(?) program. Coaches Wilson and Cream should be called the Beat Brothers….cause all they do is get Beat. IU really blows donkey balls,gargles goatsack and sucks skunk anus.

    Cats by 50. GIVE EM HELL Cal!!!!



  59. barn
    3:00 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    kroger brand chicken VYainee. to die fer. less guilt than that made with unspecified red meat things



  60. barn
    3:03 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    58)my dad always did. i have too. not bad if you follow quickly with a saltine



  61. barn
    3:06 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    damn, i’m hungry now. some nice prime fischer’s pickled balony sure sounds good……



  62. bluebiscuit
    3:12 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    There’s a little town in Indiana named Vienna, by the way. It’s not that far from Louisville, according to the map. You could go there and check out the sausages.



  63. barn
    3:13 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    there’s a town in ohigh not far from where i live called new vienna



  64. Taylor
    3:42 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I disagree about the last part about “never” being elite again. But I agree that IU fans need to check themselves here. You’re on your way back IU, but be hold your horses a bit.



  65. random hero
    3:43 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Wiltjer is better than anyone they have, Zeller looks good so far because if we played Penn St every game, Kyle would avg 30. Zeller will get exposed and by half time the announcers will be talking about “future” games



  66. Sheeeeeiiit
    3:54 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    24 – ha! If the entire US population followed the Ramsey plan we would be a third world nation in a week starting with the crash of the auto industry…no loans no cars.

    47 – Your No stranger to pshycadellic drugs I see.

    49 – Exactly!

    50 – Hellarious!

    51 – I wonder what Wade would say if someone told him Tom Crean (the Clown) created you. I remember that game and Wade friggin killed us. Crean seemed surprised they won. Credit goes to Wade and he is still ridding that break out game. One could say UK created the stage for Wade to breakout. Put it this way, if Wade beat IU like he did it would not have been half as big a deal



  67. tmark14
    3:54 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    i live in indiana and this game is huge to me. i HATE the hoosiers and their fickle fans. well, the ones who aren’t texas tech fans now. that says it all. by game time tomorrow i will be nearly physically sick because that is how bad i want the cats to win.



  68. Sam
    3:54 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I can assure you that the v. sausage / potted meat & saltine cracker crowd is still around.



  69. CatGrad7072
    4:22 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    69: With hot sauce, that’s a great snack with beer.



  70. Jen
    5:14 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    67. Why do I have to be on pshycadellic drugs for? Every time I post on here some Jack a** has a smart a** remark about what I have to say?



  71. gacatfan
    5:21 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I love my Vienna Sausages but hate Hoosiers. Hoosiers remind me of hummas. Boring and lifeless. I am having another can of Piggly Wiggly Vienna Sausages, pass the crackers and RC Cola.



  72. shendo
    5:29 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    cat fan residing in the triangle now. have some friends who work at nc state..can’t wait to use the ‘jan brady of the triangle’ line. that’s great.



  73. Ira Tatum
    5:56 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Ouch! Great article.

    Vienna Sausage has its cult following (fans); as does Eye You.

    No longer relevant; but loved by some.



  74. Jeff
    8:15 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    What a great post!! IU fans brought it all upon themselves



  75. F IU
    8:25 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I have always thought Vienna Sausages were repulsive. IU, too.



  76. Guest
    2:06 am December 10, 2011 Permalink

    I f***ing love g**d*** vienna sausages! F*** you M*** J****.



  77. biggerbigbluefan
    8:55 am December 10, 2011 Permalink

    1/3 of the liquid in cave run lake is vienny juice!



  78. Themovement
    12:33 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Go Hoosiers!! Win or lose the nation will see what real college basketball looks like!



  79. Matt
    8:34 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Why so quiet Kentucky fans??? Haha Go Hoosiers!!!! Maybe next year Calipari can buy a clutch free thrower shooter!!



  80. Join The Movement
    11:26 am December 11, 2011 Permalink

    Typical KYSportsRadio reporting: bad and inaccurate. In what year did IU play San Francisco? It was my impression that you were attempting to talk about this years IU team but we haven’t played anyone from anywhere west of the Mississippi River (that’s around the middle of the country for you UK grads who can’t read a map) this year.



  81. Mark
    11:16 pm December 11, 2011 Permalink

    I bet you feel stupid don’t you. I particularly loved the line “lets be real Indiana fans…we are Kentucky…you are Indiana. We have Calipari…you have Crean.”

    Yes, we are Indiana. We do have Crean. How does it feel to lose and have a coach that is a cheater and a racist? Oh and by the way your University is garbage. Crean is one of the most charismatic and best recruiting coaches in the game. You obviously have no idea how many offensive plays IU runs. I suggest you look that up, you’re in for a surprise.

    But my favorite part of the entire article is this, “…on Saturday Kentucky’s five superstars and nine eyebrows will remind you of your place yet again.” Yes, thank you UK for reminding us that we are a top team in college basketball and banner 6 is coming our way quickly. I’m not guaranteeing this year but very soon.

    Next time you write an article about a team like this, I suggest not making an ass out of yourself. Maybe that’s just how you do it in Kentucky.