Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or have zero contact with anyone between age 14 and 20, you’ve probably heard about one of the latest movies out in theaters called The Purge. The concept of the movie is intriguing and thought-provoking, but according to those who have actually seen it– the final product leaves much to be desired. To give you a quick background, the film is set in the year 2022 in the United States. Crime is at an all-time low due to an innovative plan called “the Purge.” For a 12-hour time period each year, people can vent their negative feelings and emotions because all crime (murder included) is legal and emergency services are suspended. When you sit down and think about how you would treat the 12-hour period and how those around you might treat it, it can make for an interesting discussion.
I got to thinking about what would happen if we had a Kentucky Purge? What if we could spend 12 hours purging whatever we wanted from our history or past? Of course some would say that you wouldn’t want to change the past because either everything happens for a reason, or we wouldn’t be where we are today without it. Others might be quick to jump on the opportunity to remove a few things from our past.
So, if we had 12 hours to remove anything we wanted from the Kentucky history or fan experience, what would you want to purge?
1) Any and all footage ESPN, CBS, or any other network has of the 1992 Christian Laettner shot
2) The LSU Hail Mary Pass
3) UPS Commercials, specifically the “That’s logistics” commercials. I still am no closer to understanding what logistics means. And I’m tired of watching the guy with the hair that could use a wash or two draw with a brown dry erase marker. He’s way too good at that and I don’t trust him.
4) The gigantic mass of speakers that hang from the center of Rupp Arena AND the huge, clunky, boxy televisions circa 1998 that still hang in the upper portion of the arena. My grandma has a flat screen. Surely Rupp Arena can spring for one.
5) Fans who tweet mean and rude things to high school recruits who don’t pick Kentucky
6) On that note, fans who tweet over the top nice stuff to recruits who don’t pick Kentucky…
7) Generally speaking, can we all just agree NOT to tweet directly to 17 year-olds unless we know them personally? Deal? Deal.
8) The random ladders that they used wayyyy too much during the promos and interludes during the
2010 2011 2012 (I don’t remember which draft it was, they all run together when Kentucky has so many players drafted) NBA Draft. I have an irrational annoyance with that whole thing.
9) The years 2007-2009 in Kentucky basketball history… except for the Jodie Meeks 54 point game. That can stay. Forever.
10) Anyone not wearing blue or white or some form of Kentucky gear sitting in Rupp Arena. It’s not that much to ask, really.
12) “Louie, Louie” from the pep band’s line-up
13) Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” being played during football games. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t pump anyone up. I just wanna live while I’m alive, but I don’t want to live at UK football games with that song playing in my ear.
14) The Yum Center contract. It would be nice to legitimately entertain the idea of an NBA team in Kentucky.
15) Tom Jurich’s turtle neck
16) While we are on the topic of Louisville, let’s go ahead and purge the 2013 national championship and the year 2012-2013 in general for the athletic program.
17) The people in the comment section who go on 4 paragraph political rants. No one cares.
18) The headbands from Tennessee’s basketball team. More specifically, the ill-fitting ones.
19) While on the topic of Tennessee, let’s go ahead and purge Aaron Craft from that barbecue at Bruce Pearl’s. I miss Bruce. He was entertaining.
20) Whatever documents kept the NCAA from allowing Enes Kanter to play college basketball.
21) The Jennifer Hudson version of “One Shining Moment”
22) The Fray’s National Anthem
23) Pete Thamel’s driver’s license, so he can quit creeping around DeMarcus Cousins and Eric Bledsoe’s hometowns in Alabama.
24) The BBVA Compass Bowl’s existence
25) Any and all video evidence of Nerlens Noel’s injury and Kevin Ware’s injury
26) Joker Phillips’ Twitter password. He needs an intervention.
27) Emery Air Freight