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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

What $300 Could Get You


Steve Spurrier’s proposal of paying each SEC football player $300 per game for “game expenses” in lieu of dealing with “philanthropic” agents and booster intrigues me. When asked to define “game expenses,” Spurrier said players could give money to their parents to cover travel, lodging and meals, or “maybe they could take their girlfriend out Sunday night or Saturday night and so forth.” While I think that Spurrier’s intentions are (ugh, can’t believe I’m gonna say it) noble, there’s no way this could solve the problem of players illegally being given money, cars, tattoos, you name it, just for being on the team. They’d just have an extra $300. This led me to wonder…what exactly $300 could get you?

– A medium sized tattoo (standard Celtic knot or portrait of Mom)
– 80 Big Macs (the normal amount consumed by a football player in one week)
– 150 Four Lokos (if they’re 21, of course)
– Maybe 2 tanks of gasoline for the Escalade (gift from the booster, of course)
– 1 set of 20″ gold rims for said Escalade [CORRECTION: One rim…wow.]
– 15 minutes in the Champagne Room (source: Rick P.)
– About 30 entrees at Applebee’s (source: Handsome J.)
– 5 video games
– 12 pedicures (source: Doron Lamb)
– 7 handles of Crown (source: Louisville fan panhandling outside Bardstown Rd. liquor store)
– An ounce of medium grade weed (same Louisville fan)
– Two-night stay at the Gainesville University Hilton
– Four-night stay at the Gainesville Super 8 Airport
These hunting waders (source: Turkey Hunter)
– Two pairs of the new LeBron sneakers
– 37 copies of the Bad Boys 2 DVD
– 1860 FarmVille credits

What else?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

23 Comments for What $300 Could Get You

  1. NBA is weak
    9:38 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    Could $300 get an abortion? I doubt it, but we should ask Rick Pitino.

  2. NegativeForNoReason
    9:41 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    Haaaaaaaaarrruuuuuuuu! You could 300 cups of coffee

  3. Truesdell
    9:45 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    I think that is $300 PER WHEEL. Not for a set.

  4. cantseecommentseither
    9:56 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    If I see a woman with one Gold rim and three hubcaps, I know its ms. thompson. And shes dating an SEC athlete with one game start…

  5. Big Poppa
    10:00 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    A hell of a weekend in the Philippines…”Mahal Kita”

  6. UL Football Player
    10:01 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    $300 i could get an ounce and a piece and go ridin dawg

  7. cantseecommentseither
    10:07 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    You could hire three guys,three days each, for “an alcohol study”.

  8. WKY Cat
    10:15 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    3 trips to the street corner

  9. SexnNursinHomes
    10:41 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    I’d buy $295 worth of beer for KSR, the rest on a $5 chicken head

  10. echo 1
    11:07 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    I’m pretty sure it would buy a hummer to die for.

  11. echo 1
    11:08 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    9 – Don’t lie. You would do some funky stuff with that coin. Funky stuff.

  12. Bruce Pearl
    11:23 pm June 2, 2011 Permalink

    A grill for cookouts.

  13. trevor9023
    1:49 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    $2 fourloko’s? Why haven’t I seen these?

  14. SexnNursinHomes
    5:54 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    11- yeah, I ain’t gonna lie. You’re right. something I’ll have to see a doctor for.

  15. blue reality
    7:56 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    and that 300 for a football player will be taken to court before it can even get warm in a pocket. Title nine won’t allow it to happen.

  16. John Calipari's Amazing One and Done Flying Circus
    8:21 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    A set of Dr. Dre Beats

  17. captain obvious
    8:26 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    15 seconds of passion on a table at porcinis

  18. UofL Linebeards!
    9:05 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    A massive total of 129 of eyebrow pencils!

  19. Al's IndiCats
    9:11 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    Or 120.4819277108434-40 ouncers of Tardinal crying Ale.

  20. Roofus Howls
    9:26 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    You pay too much for weed.

  21. Drano
    9:29 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    300 $1 bills

  22. Drano
    9:30 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    Make it rain!!!

  23. Jorts the BWK
    11:44 am June 3, 2011 Permalink

    Used S&W .22 with the serial numbers filed off (source: Tyler Smith)