Every family has one. Don’t lie, you have one. A crazy cousin who may have stole a G from your grandma by convincing her that it was for school tuition or whose Christmas present to you usually comes in the form of giving your family the opportunity to place bets on whether it was the same old stripper or a new one that birthed his latest genetic legacy.
Here at UK, we’re no different. Maybe our Cousins doesn’t lie, cheat or steal but he is damn entertaining and likes to flirt with a bit of trouble every now and again. So on a week in which he got quite a bit of bad publicity, I thought it only right that we all gather around the family table and engage in some good old fashion family celebration, and maybe a little more ribbing, of our favorite (and honestly he is edging into my top 3 all time) family member.
First, let’s let bygones be bygones. As this article says, even if you did hit a kid…or push a kid…or nudge a kid in the face more than gently…it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened, even in UK’s history, and certainly won’t rank anywhere amongst sports more outrageous moments during fan/athlete interactions. I know a dead horse named The Malice at the Palace that I won’t beat anymore here. We still love ya buddy and I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I hope you never lose the fiery edge and passion that makes you the great post man that you are. Just if you need to take out a little aggression in the future, I know a floppy haired boss of mine that sits on press row that I wouldn’t mind seeing get a couple light Cuz uppercuts on YouTube.
Second, you’re gonna be rich Cuz!! Draft Express just came out with a new scouting report for you, which borders on a love fest, and talks about how unmatched you’ve been down low (Greg Oden joke was here) all season. If nothing else, you have to take a look at the production stats where DeMarcus Cousins has reached an 8 year high for college players. (HT: AllKyHoops)
Third, aside from your obvious on-court domination, this is why I love you. During a week in which the media has been on your back a little bit, you take it all in stride and find time to do an Antione Walker shimmy and also steal a microphone to ask Darnell Dodson about his blown dunk in the South Carolina game. If ever a player was made for KSR readers (and writers) pleasure…it is you.
And just when you thought we were going to let you slide away with just a cyberspace Boogie Noogie, not so fast my Big Cuz. However large your head gets from the scouting reports or however much love you receive from the UK fans for your sense of humor or statistical greatness, you need to remember one simple thing: You got beat by a 5’8″ blonde coed who absolutely made it rain on you:
(Mute would be best for the workplace)
IMPORTANT NOTE: Don’t forget to show up later today for the UK vs Vandy Live Blog with Matt. That’ll get started at 3:30.