Earlier today, from a rally stop at a Flying J gas station/restaurant in Providence, Rhode Island, KSR Top Blogger Candidate Chris Tomlin retracted his involvement in the race. The following is a text of that media conference:
“Thank you. Thank you.
As I look out over this audience of hopeful eyes and see those of you waiting for gas, those of you purchasing hilarious t-shirts, those of you enjoying a reasonable facsimile of a “home cooked” breakfast from the fine cooks at this very fine and important interstate truck stop, rest area and children’s playland, I’m full of hope.
Full of hope that some day the Kentucky Sports Radio Blog will fulfil its true potential. That someday this blog will march forward to take its place in history. That someday we’ll stop referring to our fellow posters by numbers, and that we can implement some sort of universal spellchecking system to ensure that we can all enjoy a reverence for our words, without having to repost directly afterward to acknowledge a misspelled noun, adjective or verb.
Unfortunately, today, for me, my dream to become the KSR Top Blogger has come to an end. With my sources depleted and my staff tired, I take my hat in my hand and step aside as my fellow candidates continue to blaze their trails.
I’ve met many people here today. I met a man buying inexpensive sunglasses which he’ll probably sit on and break a little later this afternoon, or which have earpieces which will likely become loose and eventually fall off. That man told me that until he can receive accurate information on the latest JUCO player to have his name posted on the internet, he will keep fighting for a better and stronger KSR. To him, I say “have faith.”
I met a lady purchasing a beer coozy with a humorous saying of “Take Me Drunk, I’m Home.” She only wishes to enjoy her beverages in the coldest fashion possible while reading recaps of basketball and football games that perhaps she did not see, or perhaps was kept from seeing by a faulty DVR system. And she assured me that the dream of seeing tomorrow’s game recap is enough for her to keep getting out of bed in the morning and feeding her many cats. To her, I say “have faith.”
An elderly man came up to me to shake my hand. He seemed to think I was Charles Lindbergh, and told me that my prospect of a flight around the world was both inspring to him and to his family. Then he asked me if Count Basie was nice in real life. I didn’t understand this man, or why he gave me a nickel, but he clearly had some kind of dream. And to him, I say “have faith.”
Have faith, my fellow KSR enthusiasts. Have faith in a stronger tomorrow, in your soon-to-be elected new Top Blogger, and in yourselves. Because outside of this very clean and efficient Flying J, there’s a world which needs your help, recruits who need your attention, and candidates who need your support.
While I will no longer be in the running, I will continue to support the dream. Thank you for your kindness, your support, and management would like me to let you all know that breakfast sandwiches are now a dollar off. Because it’s 11:00, and it’s time for the cooks to start preparing their lunch items. Godspeed. And have faith.”