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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Cal’s got jokes and we’ve got notes from his press conference (and a podcast)

Fluff that hair, Coach

Cal was on fire during his pre-Texas A&M presser today. Hit play and read the headlines from it below.

Willie Cauley Stein will be a gametime decision

Cal said that Willie will travel with the team to College Station and will be a gametime decision.

Kentucky had the wrong guy on Elston Turner last time

Archie Goodwin told reporters that he would guard Elston Turner this go around, which Cal would neither confirm nor deny. All he would say was “I know there’s one guy not going near him,” referring to Alex Poythress’ poor defense on Turner last time.

Nerlens Noel is the only player on the team with the will to win

Cal talked at length about the will to win, which he says only one player on this team has right now: Nerlens Noel. The will to win means you’re not afraid to take the game-winning shot because you’re not afraid to miss it. Cal said that last year, they had three or four guys with the will to win, and that was what took them to the National Championship. Right now? “We are what we are.”

Cal is teaching life lessons

Cal’s theme this week: teaching life lessons. Because of this team’s youth and inexperience, Cal has found himself teaching life lessons to the players and transferring those on to the court. Example: If things aren’t going well in your life, take the next right step. Basketball translation: If you miss a shot, go back and play hard on defense. Example 2: Separate yourself from negativity. Basketball translation: Don’t listen to criticism from the media and eliminate distractions. Cal said the team is having 15-minute meetings each night to discuss these life lessons, which I can only hope include heart to hearts on cuffing and proper hygiene.

Jerry Tipton has white wine muscles

The best part of the whole presser was when Cal used the term “beer muscles” to describe Elston Turner’s 40-point performance against the Cats the last time they played:

Cal: “We had the wrong guy on him and the kid gets going and now he’s got beer muscles. All of a sudden he’s making every shot. “Beer muscles” means Jerry that you’re a weakling and when you get beers in you, you want to beat somebody’s brains in that’s a monster. That’s called beer muscles”

Jerry: I’ve got white wine muscles.

(Note to self: do not approach Jerry if he’s had a few Chardonnays.)

Men have to love being around other men

From there, Cal was on a roll. He went on a rant about how his players have to really love playing basketball in order to make it in the league. That includes loving practice, not complaining about being there early and being sad when you leave. Even more, you have to love being around men all the time. “YOU’RE MEN! YOU LOVE BEING AROUND MEN! IT’S THE BATTLE, THAT’S WHAT IT IS! If you don’t like being around men, then you shouldn’t be in this sport.”

Even Cal admitted he didn’t know where that came from.

— Finally, be sure to get your Friday night started with us as we live blog JoJo Kemp and Jeff Badet’s announcements starting at 6:45 p.m. From everything we’ve heard, they’re both picking the Cats.

On today’s radio show, Matt and guest host Steve Romines talked about the excitement surrounding UK football, including an interview with recruiting guru Justin Rowland. If it doesn’t get you excited for signing day and the Spring Game, I don’t know what will. Have a listen at

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

12 Comments for Cal’s got jokes and we’ve got notes from his press conference (and a podcast)

  1. Devastation INC
    4:05 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Tipton does not have the class to have wine muscles. It’s more like white wine spritzer muscles.

  2. JamesFlames
    4:23 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Last 1:40 is hilarious!

  3. notageek
    4:34 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Hope this technology can help someone. I’m in Chapel Hill (worse fans than Duke) and I’ve been watching games with the sound off.

  4. I'm stright Cal No men
    4:36 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Whats up wit cal and being around men

  5. inlinefor9
    5:06 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    “uh oh, we may lose, oh my god!” – Coach Cal whiny voice hahaha

  6. mudcreekmark
    5:17 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    I am glad he mentioned getting killed on the boards and working on that. It seems that no one really knows how to put a body against a body anymore. I don’t know if this is not being taught in grade school or high school anymore or if it is a product of them being so much more athletic than their opponents that they can just jump over them and get the rebound. With the exception of Noel, I don’t know if I’ve seen one time that one of our players looked around, locate the nearest opponent and then spread out and make their selves big and block them out.We were taught at a very young age, grade school that if we are playing man to man we keep ourselves between our man and the basket.When the ball goes up, you find your man,bend your knees.put your butt out and against his body, literally, put your elbows out at shoulder height and then grab the rebound. You can feel when the opponent is trying to get around you because you are maintaining contact with your own butt or body part when he tries to spin around you, you react accordingly. There is no reason for someone to stand there up right and watch the flight of the ball, and that is exactly what our players are doing right now.

  7. Hilltopper
    5:18 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Is it just me or does Coach Cal resemble John Harbaugh a little in the face? Didn’t really notice it until the other day, since the Harbaughs are plastered all over the tv this week.

  8. henry earl
    5:20 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    4 are you gay bro

  9. NotSatire
    6:02 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    That was one to remember.

  10. BlueNotes
    6:19 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Someone HAS to copy that audio into a Youtube video. Maybe one of those Mel Gibson Scottish things!


  11. Pump N Run
    6:36 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Jerry has Ensure muscles

  12. Rick
    9:38 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    “You gotta like being around men…”

    Manti Te’o would strongly agree with that sentiment.