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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Tweet Beat: Wishful Dressing

As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.

So, North Korea claims it has a missile that can hit the US. If that’s true and it hits NYC, you can count on at least one former Cat to sign up to fight back: Ramel Bradley.

For fun, let’s list things that Ramel Bradley loves more than New York City.

…I got nothing.

Patrick Patterson just won “Throwback Thursday”:

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 4.57.01 PM

Mark Krebs says it all with his comment: “Yes. We can laugh now. This was NASTY! Haha”

Papa Brooks pulled the trigger a little too early on this tweet:

What do you think he was trying to say? Here are my guesses:

Great day here in Palm Springs, just shot a 79 and am having an Arnold Palmer with Josh Teater.

Great day on the boat. Caught three bass with my fly rod before Karen wanted to go antiquing.

Green sprouts from my tomato seedlings this morning. Gonna be a good summer.

Grey spots all over my lettuce. Not sure what that means.

Even Jon Hood knows it’s still too cold for lake wear:

Hood is describing what I call “wishful dressing,” or dressing for the weather you’d like it to be, and not the weather it is. All across America, kids are returning from spring break wanting to show off their tans despite the fact that it’s only 50 degrees out. I know your toes need to breathe, bro, but don’t start whining when your new tan is covered in chill bumps.

Also, don’t tweet or Facebook about how warm and amazing it is when it’s only 50 degrees out. Right, Tod Lanter?

I also feel you on this:

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 2.07.14 PM

Speaking of Lanter, does anyone else really want to know what happened to his car??

Twany is now a suspect:

What say you, BBN? Is Sam Malone‘s prediction true?

Noel_Nerlens_2012-131 Elmore_Len_cropped

Maybe a little bit?

Jon Hood wants to know your favorite turkey hunting spots:

Anthony Epps was a proud papa this week at the McDonald’s All-American Game, which featured his daughter, Makayla, and fellow UK signee Linnae Harper:

I haven’t eaten a Hot Pocket in a while, but surely some of you can weigh in on this debate:

I was always partial to the pepperoni pizza ones myself.

After the Mike Rice/Rutgers scandal broke, I think we were all a little curious to hear what Billy Gillispie’s former players thought. Perry “Pop Tarts” Stevenson is usually very candid about Billy’s coaching techniques, but kept things pretty tactful in his tweet:

Derek Anderson isn’t very happy about these red and black shoes.

Props to Landon Foster for spotting this typo by ESPN:

Life is rough when you’re Tim Couch’s kid:

I love that he’s even giving off “What? This is just my life” vibes.

In case you were wondering, Joker continues to embrace his Dark Knight alter ego with even more bizarre photoshops on Twitter:

I also love the fact that he took a shot of a swimming pool in order to lure in recruits:

But hey, it worked. I kind of want to be there right now, too.

How do I know Patrick Towles is a Kentucky boy? Tweets like this:

Oh Boyd‘s reaction to Kevin Ware’s injury:

To be fair, you can get some pretty serious injuries from swimming…like swimmer’s ear. Or your hair turning green because of the chlorine.

Just in case you were wondering where Bookie Cobbins was these days (besides spring practice), he’s standing on walls wearing a UK sweatshirt throwing double birds:

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 3.31.37 PM

Could those pants sag any lower? Not hating, that is a legitimate question.

This picture gave me warm fuzzies:

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 5.09.10 PM

We have a canine tie for this week’s “Tweet That Makes You Go Aww” between:

Darius Miller‘s dog:

And DeMarcus Cousins‘ dog, Loso: Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 2.57.15 PM

I’m giving it to Loso for the festive bunny ears. Leave your vote in the comments section.

I know Ashley likes to think of herself as a country girl, but who “often” carries flowers as a carry on? No one.

TWEET OF THE WEEK: Willie Cauley-Stein

I do love that Willie acknowledges he has a hipster side, even though I think compassion is really more of a hippie thing.

Until next time, RT plz?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

14 Comments for Tweet Beat: Wishful Dressing

  1. lvle33
    9:52 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    #ComePlayWRForTheJoker…where you can spend the next four years as a decoy for the bubble screen

  2. BigBlue
    9:59 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    Joker sucks. Thank god he is gone. By looking at this stuff it is not hard to see why he failed!

  3. matty lite
    10:08 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    Lol @lvle33

  4. Coach Cal
    10:17 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    Do you think we have enough burge boys now to beat the likes of Bobby Morris?

  5. BigBlue
    10:20 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    4) Yes. Sorry Tom, go back to hoosier land it’s over.

  6. UKBlue
    10:30 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    The entire coaching staff will be fired at Florida by the end of the year.

    Totally over the Kevin Ware story, the media has beat this story to death! No more juice in the story; the horse is dead, get off.

  7. Dr. Funke
    11:02 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    It sounds to me like Stevenson is talking about college coaches in general not BCG. Sounds more like he was defending the rutgers coach… I don’t really see how you could make any other interpretation of that comment.

  8. Tired of Being 1 of 12 Games
    11:03 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    What is up with Joker still doing the “I am in the fake military sh!t”? Jokers teams showed no toughness or focus. I am glad we have Stoops!

  9. SeaCat
    11:49 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    that Patrick Patterson shot is scary..
    all i see is syphilis and gonorrhea…

  10. Mark
    11:53 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    Looks like P Pat is full of sugar

  11. Mark
    11:55 pm April 4, 2013 Permalink

    9) That doesnt look like a chick to me

  12. Zach
    7:28 am April 5, 2013 Permalink

    What the hell is that thing Patrick is holding….it’s really ugly!!!

  13. jpizzle
    7:46 am April 5, 2013 Permalink

    I have a feeling Joker’s terrible hashtag is going to be the butt of a lot of Twitter jokes this fall

  14. PlanoCat
    8:36 am April 5, 2013 Permalink

    Patterson needs to put a Crocodile Dundee check on that “chick”!!!