Tweet Beat: Wishful Dressing

As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.

So, North Korea claims it has a missile that can hit the US. If that’s true and it hits NYC, you can count on at least one former Cat to sign up to fight back: Ramel Bradley.

If a missile hit New York City I’m enlisting in the army… North Korea that’s gon be ya *ss!!!

— Ramel Smooth Bradley (@dreamsmooth) April 4, 2013

For fun, let’s list things that Ramel Bradley loves more than New York City.

 
 
 
 
…I got nothing.

Patrick Patterson just won “Throwback Thursday”:

Mark Krebs says it all with his comment: “Yes. We can laugh now. This was NASTY! Haha”

Papa Brooks pulled the trigger a little too early on this tweet:

Gre

— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) March 29, 2013

What do you think he was trying to say? Here are my guesses:

Great day here in Palm Springs, just shot a 79 and am having an Arnold Palmer with Josh Teater.

Great day on the boat. Caught three bass with my fly rod before Karen wanted to go antiquing.

Green sprouts from my tomato seedlings this morning. Gonna be a good summer.

Grey spots all over my lettuce. Not sure what that means.

Even Jon Hood knows it’s still too cold for lake wear:

37 degrees and this dude is wearing shorts and flip flops. Mind over matter? Craziness?

— Jon Hood (@hoodyhood4) April 4, 2013

Hood is describing what I call “wishful dressing,” or dressing for the weather you’d like it to be, and not the weather it is. All across America, kids are returning from spring break wanting to show off their tans despite the fact that it’s only 50 degrees out. I know your toes need to breathe, bro, but don’t start whining when your new tan is covered in chill bumps.

Also, don’t tweet or Facebook about how warm and amazing it is when it’s only 50 degrees out. Right, Tod Lanter?

Stop tweetin about “spring is here”. I listened to yall and came out in a long sleeve and it turns out its still 50° and windy!

— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) March 29, 2013

I also feel you on this:

Speaking of Lanter, does anyone else really want to know what happened to his car??

Y do people think they can get me with april fools jokes?? And y does someone always try involve my car??

— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) April 2, 2013

Twany is now a suspect:

My April fools joke was a success Hahahahaha, I’m dne for the day!!!

— Twany Beckham (@TB_UK11) April 1, 2013

What say you, BBN? Is Sam Malone‘s prediction true?

When @nerlensnoel3 is 60 years old he’s gonna look like Len Elmore #fact

— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) March 31, 2013

Maybe a little bit?

Jon Hood wants to know your favorite turkey hunting spots:

Who has the best turkey hunting spot in the #bbn?? It’s ok to brag…

— Jon Hood (@hoodyhood4) March 31, 2013

Anthony Epps was a proud papa this week at the McDonald’s All-American Game, which featured his daughter, Makayla, and fellow UK signee Linnae Harper:

#BBN #UKHoops get ready for this Dynamic Duo @thateppskidd_@ohh_naenae along with @kyvinn ….Gr8 twitter.com/aepps25/status…

— Anthony Epps (@aepps25) April 4, 2013

I haven’t eaten a Hot Pocket in a while, but surely some of you can weigh in on this debate:

Im curious now.. What are the best hot pocket flavors?? #FavoriteHotPocket Mine’s the Sausage egg and cheese.

— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) April 4, 2013

Philly cheese steak ones have to be the worst. They don’t taste anything like an actual Philly cheese steak.

— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) April 4, 2013

I was always partial to the pepperoni pizza ones myself.

After the Mike Rice/Rutgers scandal broke, I think we were all a little curious to hear what Billy Gillispie’s former players thought. Perry “Pop Tarts” Stevenson is usually very candid about Billy’s coaching techniques, but kept things pretty tactful in his tweet:

I can guarantee.. If hidden cameras were allowed in college practices, u would think a lot of coaches were crazy and should be fired.

— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) April 2, 2013

Derek Anderson isn’t very happy about these red and black shoes.

My Jordan rep is being funny by sending these. Ima throw them in river if he don’t send me my blue &white ones lol twitter.com/DerekLAnderson…

— Derek L. Anderson(@DerekLAnderson) April 1, 2013

Props to Landon Foster for spotting this typo by ESPN:

Didn’t know Mike Rice coached at Louisville. @espn #SCNotTop10 twitter.com/BigBlueKick12/…

— Landon Foster(@BigBlueKick12) April 3, 2013

Life is rough when you’re Tim Couch’s kid:

My lil guy enjoying the hot dogs at #pganational today. Beautiful day in West Palm twitter.com/timcouchtv/sta…

— Tim Couch (@timcouchtv) April 3, 2013

I love that he’s even giving off “What? This is just my life” vibes.

In case you were wondering, Joker continues to embrace his Dark Knight alter ego with even more bizarre photoshops on Twitter:

Calling on EVERYONE to join #GatorNation We want future Gator Greats not future Gator Bait #ComePlayWRForTheJoker twitter.com/jokerphillips/…

— Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) April 1, 2013

Talent doesn’t rest. @quintondunbar1 Let’s finish this spring out strong #GatorNation twitter.com/jokerphillips/…

— Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) April 3, 2013

I also love the fact that he took a shot of a swimming pool in order to lure in recruits:

Gainesville living. What could be better? #ItsWarm #ItsFun #ItsTheLife #ComePlayWRForTheJoker twitter.com/jokerphillips/…

— Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) April 1, 2013

But hey, it worked. I kind of want to be there right now, too.

How do I know Patrick Towles is a Kentucky boy? Tweets like this:

Can’t wait for the amount of talent that will be at Keeneland this weekend…

— Patrick Towles (@patty_ice14) April 3, 2013

Oh Boyd‘s reaction to Kevin Ware’s injury:

i dont even want to run anymore after seeing that! im about to train for swimming or something!

— BUZZ (@Oh_Boyd) March 31, 2013

To be fair, you can get some pretty serious injuries from swimming…like swimmer’s ear. Or your hair turning green because of the chlorine.

Just in case you were wondering where Bookie Cobbins was these days (besides spring practice), he’s standing on walls wearing a UK sweatshirt throwing double birds:

Could those pants sag any lower? Not hating, that is a legitimate question.

This picture gave me warm fuzzies:

We have a canine tie for this week’s “Tweet That Makes You Go Aww” between:

Darius Miller‘s dog:

Thats my daughter RT @hairsetty24: Check out this pretty little girl @uknum1 @reese_3 twitter.com/hAirSetty24/st…

— Darius Miller (@uknum1) April 3, 2013

And DeMarcus Cousins‘ dog, Loso:

I’m giving it to Loso for the festive bunny ears. Leave your vote in the comments section.

I know Ashley likes to think of herself as a country girl, but who “often” carries flowers as a carry on? No one.

What’s your most unusual carry on item? I often have these with me: twitter.com/AshleyJudd/sta…

— ashley judd (@AshleyJudd) April 4, 2013

TWEET OF THE WEEK: Willie Cauley-Stein

This is my hipster side coming out of me now but it’s crazy how it takes a tragedy to bring people together #smdh

— ☆TheFr3shPrinc3☆ (@TrillWill15) March 31, 2013

I do love that Willie acknowledges he has a hipster side, even though I think compassion is really more of a hippie thing.

Until next time, RT plz?