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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Tweet Beat: #StuffNerlensSays

As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.

That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane – Lenny Bruce is not afra–oh sorry. Didn’t see you there. Let me put down this shot of tequila and these “End of the World” maracas and we’ll do this.

We have to start with this:

First: Nerlens…smdreads. Yes, steak is made of “like cow or something.” In fact, it is cow. And you better get used to eating it, because you’ll probably be able to afford the really nice steak soon. Like the porterhouse that fancy restaurants bring out on a silver platter before they cook it just to make you drool and forget the price tag. You’re really good at basketball, so I’m going to let this one slide.

Second: Sam Malone, we need more #StuffNerlensSays.

Nerlens, please don’t ask that in front of Cal:

Infrequent Tweeter and upper-decker enthusiast Shagari Alleyne went on a tweeting spree this week, posting several pictures from a recent Christmas party. They. are. hilarious. Here are just a few:

That’s like the Anthony Davis poster. But with people.

Doron Lamb pretty much won Twitter earlier this week with his tweets calling out his former teammates for “cuffing.” Lamb has always been a Tweet Beat favorite for his consistent Twitter vocabulary, including “Who up,” “lmfao,” and numerous pictures of his friends passed out in violation of #teamnosleep. Like this one:

Poor Richy.

Here’s what Eloy Vargas had to say about Lamb’s “cuffing” tweets:

Speaking of Eloy, he’s getting his Camp Cal on:

Phew. Please, Eloy, don’t hurt ’em.

Don’t geek, Doron:

Perry Stevenson was not impressed with The Miss Universe Pageant:

Looks like Derek Anderson got some new Glamor Shots:

Not sure about the matchy matchy robin egg blue shirt/pants/necklace, but nice move having the Rolls Royce in the background. #swag


We posted this earlier in the week, but it bears reposting:

Oh, Krebs. If you’re in the commercial, does that mean you have to actually wear it? No one wants to smell like a desperate freshman boy’s dorm.

Add “bus driver” to Rajon Rondo‘s resume, along with “fashion intern” and “bizarre blazer wearer”:

Is “caking” like “cuffing” or is La’Rod King just getting in touch with his sensitive side?

La’Rod, I’ll let Danny say it for me:

Bud Dupree‘s joke would have been funny if it didn’t worry me just a little bit:

It looks like Matt Smith took a page out of Doron Lamb’s Twitter handbook:

Will someone take Oh Boyd ice skating?

Words to live by:

What say you, KSR readers: manliest burger ever?

#PunterU has a challenge for the BBN:

He also has a secret admirer:

At first, I thought the “Rich Brooks Retirement Shot of the Week” was a Christmas card:

And just so you know he’s still a Cat at heart, here’s a shot of his Kentucky Ford 150:

Awh, yes it is, Erik. #TweetsThatMakeYouGoAww

In the “Bookie Tweet of the Week,” Bookie learns the pitfalls of not shelling out for expedited shipping:

Until next time, RT plz?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

12 Comments for Tweet Beat: #StuffNerlensSays

  1. spookykim
    10:13 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Rajon Rondo — is there anything you can’t do?!!

  2. spookykim
    10:14 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Oh, & Derek Anderson — that’s hot.

  3. Keep Rock
    10:29 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Rondo looked like a 12 year old in that bus seat.

  4. vickster3
    11:01 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Derek Anderson’s glamour shots are giving me Kenny Walker flashbacks

  5. JC
    11:19 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Does Shagari work in an Asian Massage parlor? WTF.

  6. tyson
    11:54 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    good roundup as always TT. the shagari pics are priceless

  7. Kevin C.
    3:43 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    Shagari has some sexy legs…and a woman’s head sprouting from his belly. 0_o

  8. RajonRondo
    6:57 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    Yea I cannot be a nice guy, no matter what I’m always a jerk.

  9. bigcat76
    8:13 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    Mom, is that you? And why is Shagari holding your panties?

  10. justafish2002
    9:02 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    Shagari may work at 5/3, I know he interviewed for them during UK job fair this past september.

    Also, the picture with all the girls makes him look like a legit giant

  11. yooo
    10:10 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    #1…shut his mouth and play basketball

  12. Biglaw Dawgin'
    10:27 am December 21, 2012 Permalink

    To La’Rod’s tweet – yep, caking is like cuffing. Short for “cup caking” and “hand cuffing.” As in, “Where’s La’rod? He’s with ole girl (cup)caking!”