As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.
That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane – Lenny Bruce is not afra–oh sorry. Didn’t see you there. Let me put down this shot of tequila and these “End of the World” maracas and we’ll do this.
We have to start with this:
“What’s steak made of? Like cow or something?” #stuffNerlenssays
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) December 20, 2012
First: Nerlens…smdreads. Yes, steak is made of “like cow or something.” In fact, it is cow. And you better get used to eating it, because you’ll probably be able to afford the really nice steak soon. Like the porterhouse that fancy restaurants bring out on a silver platter before they cook it just to make you drool and forget the price tag. You’re really good at basketball, so I’m going to let this one slide.
Second: Sam Malone, we need more #StuffNerlensSays.
Nerlens, please don’t ask that in front of Cal:
— Erin Calipari (@TheErinCalipari) December 20, 2012
Infrequent Tweeter and upper-decker enthusiast Shagari Alleyne went on a tweeting spree this week, posting several pictures from a recent Christmas party. They. are. hilarious. Here are just a few:
That’s like the Anthony Davis poster. But with people.
Doron Lamb pretty much won Twitter earlier this week with his tweets calling out his former teammates for “cuffing.” Lamb has always been a Tweet Beat favorite for his consistent Twitter vocabulary, including “Who up,” “lmfao,” and numerous pictures of his friends passed out in violation of #teamnosleep. Like this one:
— Doron Lamb (@DLamb20) December 17, 2012
Here’s what Eloy Vargas had to say about Lamb’s “cuffing” tweets:
— Eloy Vargas (@E_Vargas30) December 18, 2012
Speaking of Eloy, he’s getting his Camp Cal on:
Phew. Please, Eloy, don’t hurt ’em.
Don’t geek, Doron:
I geek I’m sorry
— Doron Lamb (@DLamb20) December 16, 2012
Perry Stevenson was not impressed with The Miss Universe Pageant:
Are these women considered the most beautiful in the universe? Umm.. Idk about that one.
— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) December 20, 2012
Looks like Derek Anderson got some new Glamor Shots:
Thanks for the pics bro!! Great work as usual. twitter.com/DerekLAnderson…
— Derek L. Anderson(@DerekLAnderson) December 20, 2012
Not sure about the matchy matchy robin egg blue shirt/pants/necklace, but nice move having the Rolls Royce in the background. #swag
No exit row seats. I bet someone under 5’5″ will be sitting their taking up all the extra leg room
— Erik Daniels (@danielserik) December 18, 2012
We posted this earlier in the week, but it bears reposting:
That’s a wrap for the “Axe” Commercial!!! Can’t wait for everyone to see it. twitter.com/MarkKrebs12/st…
— Mark Krebs Jr.(@MarkKrebs12) December 17, 2012
Oh, Krebs. If you’re in the commercial, does that mean you have to actually wear it? No one wants to smell like a desperate freshman boy’s dorm.
Add “bus driver” to Rajon Rondo‘s resume, along with “fashion intern” and “bizarre blazer wearer”:
Bus driver twitter.com/RajonRondo/sta…
— Rajon Rondo (@RajonRondo) December 14, 2012
Is “caking” like “cuffing” or is La’Rod King just getting in touch with his sensitive side?
I’m on my caking mood tonight I feel like lighting some candles and playing some slow jams
— La’Rod King (@Kingof_UK) December 20, 2012
La’Rod, I’ll let Danny say it for me:
— Danny E. Trevathan (@Flawdaa_Trev4) December 17, 2012
Bud Dupree‘s joke would have been funny if it didn’t worry me just a little bit:
Which one of my family members tryna get me A tatt ? hopefully it ain’t a NCAA violation
— Bud Dupree (@Bud_Dupree2) December 16, 2012
It looks like Matt Smith took a page out of Doron Lamb’s Twitter handbook:
My Sunday with the fam watching fball twitter.com/Matt_Smith69/s…
— Matt Smith (@Matt_Smith69) December 16, 2012
Will someone take Oh Boyd ice skating?
really want to go ice skating but I’m scared lol…haven’t been since I lived in chicago.
— Aaron Boyd (@Oh_Boyd) December 15, 2012
Words to live by:
Attitude over Everything, Everything over my Ex’s, Every girl Stays for Dinner only the Chosen Stay for Breakfast!
— Jerry Williams IIIâ„¢ (@JWill_ThaKidd36) December 20, 2012
What say you, KSR readers: manliest burger ever?
Most Manley burger I’ve ever eaten twitter.com/wardaddy_67/st…
— Larry warford (@wardaddy_67) December 17, 2012
#PunterU has a challenge for the BBN:
All I know is that Titans stadium better be ALL BLUE when we play Western next year.
— Landon Foster (@BigBlueKick12) December 19, 2012
He also has a secret admirer:
I never did figure out who this was… twitter.com/BigBlueKick12/…
— Landon Foster (@BigBlueKick12) December 18, 2012
At first, I thought the “Rich Brooks Retirement Shot of the Week” was a Christmas card:
Pic of our house through the trees with about 5 inches of snow. Will start to melt later but more snow tonight. twitter.com/UKcoachbrooks/…
— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) December 18, 2012
And just so you know he’s still a Cat at heart, here’s a shot of his Kentucky Ford 150:
Pic of my Kentucky ford 150 pickup in a winter wonderland. Need the 4 wheel drive to get up my hill. twitter.com/UKcoachbrooks/…
— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) December 18, 2012
Awh, yes it is, Erik. #TweetsThatMakeYouGoAww
This is harder than basketball twitter.com/danielserik/st…
— Erik Daniels (@danielserik) December 19, 2012
In the “Bookie Tweet of the Week,” Bookie learns the pitfalls of not shelling out for expedited shipping:
I think my Christmas gifts pose to come in I think..
— Booke Uptown â„¢103 (@bookie3_FLYA) December 20, 2012
Until next time, RT plz?