Tweet Beat plays Keeneland Fashion Police

As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.

Okay, kids these days: are the shoes Kyle Wiltjer and Jarrod Polson wearing cool or not cool?

While the lazy part of me really digs the velcro closure (more adult shoes need velcro if you ask me), they look a little bit like nursing shoes. And white is never a good idea, unless you want to spend your down time cleaning and shoe polishing. But again, I am not hip to sneaker culture.

While in Brooklyn for the Jordan Brand Classic, Julius Randle and Andrew Harrison got to meet Spike Lee:

While you’re at it, get used to kissing trophies, Andrew:

And now, for Tweet Beat Fashion Police with Sam Malone and Tod Lanter:

RT “@sammaloneuk13: Idc how hot it is if you wear a cut off shirt to class you should automatically fail” might as well not wear a shirt…

— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) April 10, 2013

Let’s turn it around on them. Here’s a picture of Brian Long, Alex Poythress, Twany Beckham, and Sam Malone at Keeneland from last weekend:

My Fashion Police grades:

Brian Long: A simple button-down shirt and slacks is appropriate Keeneland attire, although it seems the Jersey in Long led him to spike his hair up into a little faux-hawk. A pair of shades would really complete the outfit. Final grade: B

Alex Poythress: Scholarly Alex! Alex donned some glasses for his trip to Keeneland, along with a chambray shirt, cargo shorts/pants, and some serious ear bling. For some reason, the button-the-top-button-of-your-shirt trend has taken off, which I’m not a fan of, but whatever. I like the glasses, but the cargo pockets bring Alex’s grade down. Final grade: B-

Twany Beckham: You knew Twany, the Lodge’s resident ladies man, would dress up the most out of the four. Twany’s sporting a buttoned up shirt, slacks, and tie, but what’s that?!?!? A cell phone holster?? What are we, 55? Twany’s cell phone holster drags his otherwise sterling score down. We are not that old. Final grade: A-

Sam Malone: Malone’s rocking some scruff to go with his Polo button down and khakis. I like the shades, and the beard actually doesn’t look too bad on him. Final grade: B+

How did UK players respond to UofL’s championship?

The saddest thing is we won’t be in the “one shining moment” video. 364 days baby!

— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) April 9, 2013

Us one year, the city that raised me the next. All Luv. Congrats Louisville!

— Twany Beckham (@TB_UK11) April 9, 2013

I want to be in there next year!!! Gotta have that moment #BBN #GottaGetThatRing

— ☆TheFr3shPrinc3☆ (@TrillWill15) April 9, 2013

Attaboys. #GottaGetThatRing

UK’s former players were also very respectful:

Congrats to UL. That was a great game.

— Darius Miller (@uknum1) April 9, 2013

Congrats to the U of L on winning the natl champ!! Bluegrass!!

— Eloy Vargas (@EVargas30) April 9, 2013

National Championship comes bk to KY…congrats to my former coach, Rick Pitino…✌

— Anthony Epps (@aepps25) April 9, 2013

Well the best team won tonight. I hate admitting it but UL was the better team. Congrats and live it up but we are coming next year!#NoMercy

— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) April 9, 2013

U may not like ur rival but winning championships deserves respect.

— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) April 10, 2013

Congratulations to the ‘Ville ‘Cards! National Champs. Wow. We’re awfully lucky in Kentucky to have these two teams. Great title-game.

— Rex Chapman (@rexchapman) April 9, 2013

While Bobby Perry‘s reaction was a little bit more like mine:

Someone has to win

— Bobby Perry (@BobbyPerry13) April 9, 2013

However, to all those UK students who cheer for both Louisville and Duke: Perry Stevenson does not approve.

Root for Louisville, and for Duke but you attend UK.. Its safe to say I dislike you a little.

— Perry Stevenson (@PSteve2122) April 10, 2013

Nerlens Noel’s birthday was Wednesday, which tradition says warrants him a batch of Ellen Calipari’s famous brownies, but Noel, unbelievably, doesn’t like chocolate.

@ukcoachcalipari lol I don’t like chocolate coach. #Vanilla

— Nerlens Noel (@NerlensNoel3) April 10, 2013

Who doesn’t like chocolate?! Blonde brownies for Nerlens, I suppose…

Here’s a question: will Twany’s teammates continue to “nightcap” once Twany’s graduated?

When he’s not “cappin’,” Twany is putting together some pretty impressive breakfast art:

If there’s one thing Tod Lanter is, it’s honest:

Well I paid the tab and the lady asked me ‘How’d you like my biscuit?’…I’ll be honest with you ma’am, it ain’t like momma fixed it.

— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) April 8, 2013

FYI: best biscuits in the world? Loveless Cafe in Nashville.

Ever wonder what Patrick Patterson reads in his down time?

Life is rough for Darius Miller:

Right outside the hotel tho twitter.com/uknum1/status/…

— Darius Miller (@uknum1) April 8, 2013

When he’s not posting creepy photoshops on Twitter, Joker Phillips is running, with the help of JD Shelbourne.

Thanks @jdshelburne your song #FARMBOY came up on my shuffle and help get me thru my morning run #grind #ComePlayWRForTheJoker #gators

— Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) April 10, 2013

Okay Winston Guy, I’m impressed with your 61″ box jump:

Seattle Seahawks Winston Guy 61 inch Box Jump! youtube.com/watch?v=lRd2eo… via @youtube

— Winston Guy Jr. (@WinstonGuyJr27) April 9, 2013

Earlier this week, Morgan Newton seemed skeptical about the prospect of 50,000 fans attending UK’s Spring Game. While the number of tickets sold is actually closer to 42K, Morgan deleted the tweet after some backlash from the fans. However, Maxwell Smith saw it:

“@monewt12: I will believe this 50,000 ppl at a spring game when i see it.” My friend and old teammate Morgan Newton challenging the #BBN

— Maxwell Smith (@Maxwe11uk) April 9, 2013

Morgan insists he wasn’t hating:

No no no. I’m not hatingat all but I’ve never seen 15000 at a uk spring game, so 50000 seems unbelievable.

— Morgan Newton (@monewt12) April 9, 2013

And promises he’ll be there, too:

The more the merrier, I will be 1 of 10, 1 of 2000, 1 of 10000, or 50000 apparently. Just will believe it when I see it.

— Morgan Newton (@monewt12) April 9, 2013

It’s got to be a little strange for the outgoing seniors on the team to witness the excitement building around the program right now. While I’m sure they’re happy for their former teammates, do I sense a little jealousy at the prospect of 50K coming to a scrimmage when maybe only 30K came to their Senior Day? (Totally natural, by the way.)

I don’t think this was his intent, but if this was Randall Cobb‘s response to Joker Phillips’ “Joker” photoshops, then he is my favorite person ever. (Even though he kind of already is.)

On my Bruce Wayne!! #iWILL @underarmour #AlterEgo twitter.com/rcobb18/status…

— Randall Cobb (@rcobb18) April 9, 2013

Jared Lorenzen has the right, if slightly skewed, attitude about the current state of the UK/UofL rivalry:

Haha. All my UK fans will love this!!! twitter.com/JaredLorenzen2…

— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) April 11, 2013

This might be the first negative tweet I’ve ever seen from Rich Brooks:

It never fails. Have a 2 hr delay in LA. Could almost drive it and get t the desert before 2 in the morning.

— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) April 10, 2013

Get this man to a fishing hole, stat.

In your “Bookie Tweet of the Week,” Bookie has high praise for UK’s CATS tutoring program:

How the professor talk the whole class period and I don’t get nuttin out it but wen in my tutor I understand all that shi.. SMH

— Booke Uptown â„¢103 (@bookie3_FLYA) April 8, 2013

This week’s “Tweet That Makes You Go Aww” was easy. And heartwarming:

TWEET OF THE WEEK: Josh Hopkins

Cards fans living in the past. Cats currently pre season #1. #bbn.

— Josh Hopkins (@MrJoshHopkins) April 9, 2013

Next season starts today. Until next time, RT plz?