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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Tweet Beat: Nerlens Knows

As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.

We’ll begin with Tweet Beat’s newest segment, “Nerlens Knows.” Making me wonder if he’s actually a robot designed to be the ideal Kentucky player, Nerlens has started tweeting rap lyrics each morning in the manner of Jay Bilas, except instead of ending with “I gotta go to work,” he signs his tweets with “I gotta get #9.” Here’s my favorite from this week:


Brian Long got dress pants! Hooray, he won’t look like a hobo when he meets the President tomorrow!

Memories…light the corners of my mind…

Sniff sniff.

Another item to add to MKG‘s resume for Big Blue Sainthood: his visit to the Children’s Hospital to spread joy those in need.

Anthony Davis also gives back:

Something tells me Eloy’s extra gear is all spoken for by now:

WBA faced off on the tennis court, and this time, it was Jarrod Polson that bested Kyle Wiltjer.

Before you get nervous about Kyle’s hand-eye coordination, fear not: big Wiltj got him back on the basketball court, the only place that matters.

Sam Malone supports my theory that people should be required to wear name tags at all times (it would save so much unnecessary drama!):

Twany’s tattoos made the news!

I am a girl and I am saying this is true:

The Real T. Jones continues to be a gentleman:

Congrats to Stone Cold Willow, who was able to take a much-needed trip to the dentist this week thanks to the charity of several friends, including Terrence Jones. Let’s hope those new chompers don’t stop Willow from smoothing that back out.

Boogie‘s wording of this tweet is…unfortunate:

…and he knows it:

Erik Daniels, who is currently playing pro ball in Italy, describes one of the common drawbacks of living in Europe:

Derek Anderson will have his nostalgia with a side of fries, please.

The best part about this picture? Those are Walter’s actual jerseys:

Perry Stevenson fought back against the grammar police on the most common grammar mistake EVER:

The Harrellson family: all denim, all the time.

Hey Josh, with summer around the corner, I fully expect a family jortrait.

Is there a more perfect creature than Keyla Snowden? (No, no there is not.)

Stop making me jealous of your life, Josh Hopkins!

Kudos to Ashley Judd for her work with Snooty Giggles, an animal rescue service. Ashley has been tweeting pictures of Walter, a dog who was severely abused and starved by who former owners, who threw him from a car window with his yard stake still attached. It’s a story that will tug the heartstrings of any animal lover (or human being with a soul), and for that, she gets two big snaps from me.

Amen, Morgan Newton:

Stevie Johnson traveled to Philly this week for groin surgery, but even an impending trip to the hospital didn’t stop him from asking sleeping strangers where the nearest cheese steak stand was:

This week’s “Tweet That Makes You Go Awww” goes to Randall Cobb, who posted this gem of him and his father:

In your “Oh, Boyd Moment of the Week,” Aaron educates us about recycled goods:

Bookie tells us a little about the journey he’s on in this week’s “Bookie Tweet of the Week”:

RT if Tweet Beat keeps it 1,000,000?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

20 Comments for Tweet Beat: Nerlens Knows

  1. Ridge Runner
    9:56 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    Good stuff again, Ms T.

    By the way, why is that lanyard inserted into the nose of Ashley’s dog?

  2. D rock
    10:01 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    I am so glad to see all the things people are doing for stone cold willow. He is awesome and is w hat Kentucky is al about. I’m glad to see ksr is using their blessings to help others.

  3. Mike
    10:01 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    I did the same thing Stevie Johnson did, but in Chicago. I got thrown out of a McDonald’s and accused of making fun of homeless people…

  4. cracka
    10:11 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    love boogie’s tweets, hahahaha … that was hilarious

  5. BlueMist
    10:14 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink


    4-Yes and the sac comment explained —was nice.

  6. rob
    10:19 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    Lol misquote much? Memories light the corners of my mind. I hate the song, but those be the lyrics.

  7. ExcelwithWall
    10:24 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    6- butt hole

  8. Smiley Pete
    10:25 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    @1, thats what you saw when looking at Ashley Judds picture?

  9. Ridge Runner
    10:26 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    8- It was the only thing I saw that I couldn’t figure out. umm-umm

  10. Ms. Tyler Thompson
    10:31 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    6 – I’ve never been so proud to misquote something.

  11. BPsycho
    10:53 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    #9 I’m trying to keep myself from saying something about her boobs not being able to stay like that forever and how 30 years went by in an instant lol

  12. BPsycho
    10:54 pm May 3, 2012 Permalink

    I keed I keed…

  13. shields eyes
    12:26 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    Why is Josh Hopkins in Italy with three gay dudes?

  14. HeshimuEvans'2ndGradeTeacher
    12:32 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    If I was Doron I would just take the thing.

  15. mores
    2:34 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    I get a little happier every time I see this title. Good work as always, Tyler.

  16. PatPattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor
    4:24 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    (1) maybe it’s a feeding tube?

  17. Kevin
    6:55 am May 4, 2012 Permalink


  18. Sweet Genious
    8:12 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    This post is like sunshine in my mouth

  19. Ridge Runner
    8:32 am May 4, 2012 Permalink

    16- That would make sense, yes.

  20. Evan
    12:55 pm May 4, 2012 Permalink

    @1 – there’s a dog in that picture?