As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.
I always knew Jarrod Polson was a magician:
Check out those hops!
I’d like to thank Josh Hopkins for bringing it to my attention that one of the Derby horses, Orb, has a Twitter account:
— Josh Hopkins (@MrJoshHopkins) May 1, 2013
Some of Orb’s tweets so far:
— Orb (@OrbColt) April 21, 2013
Really? Scissor lifts while I’m schooling and the horses are in the paddock for race 1???
— Orb (@OrbColt) May 1, 2013
Sigh. I feel old.
Papa Brooks, Tod Lanter sees you and your giant fish:
Stan and I caught about 30 fish today. Most were Cut throat with some rainbow. Dry fly fishing. No big ones. twitter.com/UKcoachbrooks/…
— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) April 27, 2013
And raises you some…spots and gills?
Speaking of Tod, it’s finals week at UK, which means all the students are HOPPED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW!
I need to get some sleep but, I’M ALL HOPPED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW!
— Tod Lanter (@tod_lanterIII) May 1, 2013
Just don’t do caffeine pills and go all Jesse Spano on us, kids:
Jon Hood seems really hyped about this chicken salad:
I fully support the “just chicken salad” movement. Pecans, grapes, pineapples and water chestnuts are great, but chicken salad is supposed to be salty and delicious. Don’t go confusing my palette with sweet things like grapes. Also, if your chicken salad DOES have grapes in it, please list that in the description or have the decency to tell me when I order it.
I’ll get off my soap box now.
If you think Hood and I are OCD about our chicken salad, just check out Mark Krebs and his ice water angst:
Hate a stubborn glass of ice water. Damn sticky ice. You tap the glass and get bum-rushed by cubes. #PetPeeve
— Mark Krebs Jr.(@MarkKrebs12) April 27, 2013
I’m not really sure what Twany Beckham was doing before or after this picture, but even if it was just walking around Lexington in a suit and tie, spinning a basketball while wearing his championship ring, then it definitely fits his criteria for a great time:
Twany on his suit and tie…
Archie Goodwin has backed off the Twitter a little bit lately, but still sent out this tweet yesterday:
Everyone has a lil ratchet in them regardless of if they like it or not
— Archie Goodwin (@A1Laflare10) May 1, 2013
Funny story. A while back, being the late 20-something that I am, I had no idea what the term “ratchet” meant, so I texted KSR’s “Kids These Days” correspondent, Wilder Treadway, to find out. According to WilderDictionary (copyright that now, young one), ratchet is an adjective used “to describe looking or acting a mess.”
Is Twany Beckham on a diet? I haven’t seen a soft-serve nightcap in weeks:
I do love how he pointed out that his water was “room temp.”
Leave it to Willie Hippie-Stein to ponder the great mysteries of life:
Why does slow up and slow down mean the same thing??
— â˜†TheFr3shPrinc3â˜† (@TrillWill15) April 26, 2013
In case you were wondering how Boston is faring after the Marathon bombings, Sam Malone stopped by Boylston Street to check in on the memorial:
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) May 2, 2013
Before the flat top or the unibrow was the afro:
Eloy Vargas‘ submission for “Throwback Thursday” (#tbt) is classic:
1) Eloy is so skinny!!
2) His neck is insanely long
3) His mamma looks like she will eff you up if you touch her baby boy
Before you start feeling too sorry for Josh Harrellson because he’s no longer in the league, just look at this picture:
I think Jorts is doing just fine, even if he’s not wearing jorts.
I’m sorry, to me, Nazr Mohammad already is the Most Interesting Man in the World:
I love the Dos Equis commercials lol. When I grow up I want to be just like the Dos Equis man lol #StayThirstyMyFriend
— Nazr Mohammed (@NazrMohammed) April 29, 2013
Does this mean we can expect MKG in a “Funny or Die” video soon? Please??
Josh Clemons is finally healthy and back in the weight room, with some help from his dad, “Big Clem”:
My dad is 8 years out the league and makes me feel like a girl in the weight room. I had to tap out.. Barely holding my phone for this!
— Josh Clemons (@J_Clem20) May 2, 2013
Any chance Big Clem has some extra eligibility left?
if u hear “kiss from a rose” come on the radio It doesn’t matter where or who u are…u automatically turn into Seal..
— Larry Warford (@wardaddy_67) May 1, 2013
Come on, Matt Smith. Drew Franklin would just call this a regular Saturday night:
Those times you go through Taco Bell drive-thru and have to reflect on your life because they handed you two bags. #FatBoyProblems
— Matt Smith (@Matt_Smith69) April 29, 2013
Oh Boyd had a pretty depressing week, from the looks of it:
taking a long walk, don’t know where I’m going.
— BUZZ (@Oh_Boyd) April 30, 2013
Other tweets this week:
“I’m so stranded.”
Maybe because that’s you went on a walk without knowing where you were going…
“is this darkness of the dawn?”
Obviously still stranded…
That’s not even safe!
Last week, we told you about the #KickinIt4Kelly movement and its support from the UK football team and Nerlens Noel. Even 2013 football commit Melvin Lewis is doing his part, posting this picture on Twitter earlier today:
— Compton to Kentucky(@BigMel94) May 2, 2013
Friends, get ready to see A LOT of Ashley Judd. She’s been cast as one of the supporting characters in “Divergent,” another young adult dystopian trilogy being turned into a movie. It’s essentially the next “Hunger Games.”
— ashley judd (@AshleyJudd) May 2, 2013
John Wall doesn’t get personal a lot on Twitter, or with the media in general, but when he does, it’s very touching. Check out this picture of John and his late father:
Happy Bday to my pops !! I know u watchin down on me…Luv Ya R.I.P. !! twitter.com/John_Wall/stat…
— John Wall (@John_Wall) April 26, 2013
Tiny John Wall is too much for me to handle… #verklempt
That’s a #TweetThatMakesYouGoAww right there.
Bookie‘s been pretty quiet lately, but he did tweet out his summer plans earlier this week:
The summer’s MINES!!
— Booke Uptown â„¢103 (@bookie3_FLYA) April 29, 2013
I think he meant “MINE!!”. But who knows, maybe he will actually be working in a mine. You never know.
This picture of a Kentucky sports figure was posted on Instagram this week. Who is it?? I’ll reveal the answer in tonight’s night post.
Until next time, RT plz?