As part of the never-ending quest to bring you University of Kentucky news in the most ridiculous manner possible, I comb the Twitter-verse each week for the funniest, oddest, and sometimes, nearly illegible tweets from your favorite players and personalities. Basically, I read Twitter so you don’t have to. Without further ado, here are the best tweets of the week.
It’s Christmastime here at the KSR compound, and we’ve already got the Duraflame yule log burning. While you’ve been snacking on sweets at the office, your favorite Cats spent this week spreading holiday cheer:
With Loyola out of the way, the Cats are now on their way home for the holidays. Sam Malone is so excited and he just can’t hide it:
So excited for home and Christmas. I’m gonna pee my pants!!!!!!!!!
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) December 22, 2011
Judging by this picture taken after the game, I’m guessing that centaurs and turtles really do get along:
Chillin with the Turtle Man!! Yeeehaw! He has a show in animal planet!! twitter.com/E_Vargas30/sta…
— Eloy Vargas (@E_Vargas30) December 23, 2011
The holidays also mean the end of the semester, which means it’s time to say goodbye to Stacey Poole. Cue the Boyz II Men music, please…
— Darius Miller (@uknum1) December 17, 2011
Twany Beckham may have gotten his first start on Saturday, but he was still the victim of a pretty vicious dunk in practice, which resulted in him being given the Helmet Award:
I got dunked on in practice and been havin the helmet for awhile… twitter.com/Twany_Beckham1…
— Twany Beckham (@Twany_Beckham10) December 21, 2011
Did Marquis Teague find a lucky lady under the mistletoe?
and she.the perfect girl for teague..
— Marquis Teague (@MarquisTeague25) December 21, 2011
CBSSports’ Jeff Goodman thinks he’s got us all figured out:
@AdamZagoria Are you trying to win back the UK fans?It’s not that hard; just write all pro-UK stuff and they will quickly forgive.
— Jeff Goodman (@GoodmanCBS) December 22, 2011
…honestly, he kind of does.
Even Morgan Newton had a problem with Dan Dakich’s color commentary on Tuesday:
Getting ready to mute Dakich..”layup shooter” seriously?
— Morgan Newton (@monewt12) December 21, 2011
Former Kentucky QB Mike Hartline gave his old teammate Matt Roark a shout out on Twitter this week, further proving that all Kentucky football fans are still reveling in the victory over Tennessee (myself included).
@mhartline59 Ayye! Big mike! But preciate that man. But I’m goin back next semester to finish up work out and give it a shot.
— Matt Roark (@3Matthias) December 21, 2011
Future Cat Alex Poythress continues an impressive campaign for 2012-2013 fan favorite with this inspirational tweet:
#IWasThatKid who used to get picked last.
— Alex Poythress (@AlexTheGreat22) December 19, 2011
Nobody’s picking you last anymore, fam.
You think you’ve had a bad week? Try being Sam Malone. Malone tore his ACL against UT-Chattanooga on Saturday, and will be out for the remainder of the season. That isn’t keeping the witty walk-on down, though:
Thanks for the support #bbn I’ll be back next season ready to pick up where I left off. Thanks for making me trend again feels good
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) December 20, 2011
Yes, Bobby Perry, we are jealous:
Gonna be hard to leave this and go back to the cold.lockerz.com/s/166004918
— Bobby Perry (@BobbyPerry13) December 18, 2011
Lots of people tweeted Playboy model Megan Dillis after she shared her experience at the Kentucky/Indiana game (looking at you, BTI), but my favorite tweet had to be from Walter McCarty, who simply sent her his music video of his new song “Emotionally.”
— Walter McCarty (@waltermccarty) December 21, 2011
Maxwell Smith proves that teenagers’ fascination with street signs with their names on them still lives on:
— Maxwell Smith (@Maxwe11uk) December 21, 2011
Despite months of experience deciphering tweets, I have no clue what Aaron Boyd is talking about. Help? When did “thirsty” start meaning something other than “thirsty”?
Dont wanna call the homies out but I am the “no man” and yall a little thirsty in my activity feed!!! 0_o
— Aaron Boydâ„¢ (@Oh_Boyd) December 22, 2011
Another “thirsty” sighting, courtesy of Ryan Harrow:
Maybe the rumors were true. Ppl looking “thirsty” out here and I don’t eve use that term
— Ryan Harrow (@12Harrow) December 21, 2011
You’re about to go spend lots and lots of time with family. You’ll probably have a conversation similar to the one Mark Krebs recently had with his niece:
Arguing with my two year old niece about whether or not she has skin. I pointed to her face. She said this is a cheek not a skin. She won
— Mark Krebs Jr.(@MarkKrebs12) December 17, 2011
At the Indianapolis Colts’ Christmas party, which took place at a bowling alley (my how the mighty have fallen), Jacob Tamme‘s friend and Colts’ video assistant Matt Carlson hit a ridiculous trick shot.
— Jacob Tamme (@JacobTamme) December 19, 2011
If you were unable to attend the Mt. Sterling Christmas Parade, then you missed getting to see Winston Guy and his fantastic dreads in a black convertible Camaro. #random
At the Mt. Sterling Christmas parade. Driving in the Black Convertible Camaro.
— Winston Guy Jr. (@WinstonGuyJr21) December 17, 2011
You may love being home for the holidays, but Andre Woodson hates it:
I Hate being home for the holidays…next year Cannot, Will Not be the same!!Which Bowl Game will WE be attending is the question!!#BBN
— Andre Woodson Jr (@AndreWoodsonJr) December 22, 2011
Tee Martin‘s son tried a new game recently called “Hantis“…which looks like what we used to do to play beer pong in college when we didn’t have one long table:
Kaden trying Hantis.. Game is really cool! twitter.com/TeeMartin17/st…
— Tee Martin(@TeeMartin17) December 21, 2011
Can anyone fill us in on the wonder that is Hantis?
I’m glad that Patrick Patterson and I have the same philosophy about Christmas shopping:
need to g to the mall to get something for lil cuzin but recliner feelin too right right now. #lazyboy
— Patrick Patterson (@pdpatt) December 23, 2011
Papa Brooks is settling into his new home in Oregon, where his new office looks just a little different than his old one:
Here is a picture of my office the caboose in Eugene. Nice spot to get some work done. twitter.com/UKcoachbrooks/…
— Rich Brooks (@UKcoachbrooks) December 21, 2011
Seriously, that child is so cute it makes my ovaries ache.
Bookie’s back in New Orleans for the break, and in the “Bookie Tweet of the Week,” he tells us about a special girl in his life:
I’m having a nice time wit @ambersymone_ but she got a booger in her nose doe, I ain’t tellin ha lol..
— Theltus Cobbins (@bookie3_YMCMB) December 19, 2011
And with that, I wish you Merry Christmas, KSR readers. Love you all. #noEltonJohn
Until next time, RT plz?