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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

‘Twas The Night Before Kickoff

Santa Stoops


‘Twas the night before kickoff, when all through the Commonwealth

The Big Blue Nation was stirring, anxiously preparing themselves

Blue and white jerseys laid out, the grills are cleaned and prepared,

In hopes that a bowl season was finally here.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of Boom Williams’ touchdowns danced in their heads

And momma in her PJs, dad asleep on the couch

With SEC Network re-runs on, a big wad of dip in his mouth.


Out in the media, there arose a chatter

“Kentucky may actually be decent, since when is this the matter?”

A struggling defensive line, linebacker corps thin

Get past those two things, we could get seven wins.


A win tomorrow could start a positive trend

An upset win over Florida, that damn streak could finally end.

With a loss however, the season could be doomed for good

Fans empty the stands, watch games at home in their own neck of the woods


We don’t know what to expect at all,

Shannon Dawson’s offense is a mystery.

Let’s hope history repeats itself,

Nick Mullens with a pick six, returned back by Chris Westry.


With Drew Barker set to go under center,

Baker, Conrad, and Juice lined up out wide.

This offense is capable of hanging 30+ points tomorrow night

What else better, than to make ole Dawson-boy cry?


Recruits will be watching, taking their own notes

With Boom, Kemp, and Horton running the ball down the Golden Eagles’ throats

Siheim King with the kick return, Charles Walker on the punt

Even the special teams will be getting in on the fun


As the clock strikes zero, fans start to go nuts

A 1-0 start to the season, we’re ready to kick some Gator butt

The fans head out the doors, screaming chants and piling into their cars.

The coaching staff hyped up, lighting up a few victory cigars.


At the post-game presser, Mark Stoops set to begin

“Damn, it sure is nice to get that first win.

We came out prepared, ready to fight.

Happy gameday to all, and to all a good night!”


Let’s get this win.


Follow me on Twitter: @JackPilgrimKSR

Article written by Jack Pilgrim

Follow me on Twitter: @JackPilgrimKSR

2 Comments for ‘Twas The Night Before Kickoff

  1. ThreeGoggles
    11:45 pm September 2, 2016 Permalink

    Wow. Just wow.

  2. ukkatzfan
    12:17 am September 3, 2016 Permalink

    yes !!!