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Top 10 Moments of the NBA Draft

Well the NBA Draft came and went and once again provided us with entertaining moments and comedy through the roof. I watched the whole thing, did multiple imitations of Stephen A Smith and laughed at the ridiculousness that is a Dick Vitale monologue. All while being amazed at Jay Bilas’s hairline. A great, great night. Here were the top 10 moments:

1. Without a doubt, the highlight of the night was the buildup and anticipation of the New York Knicks’ draft pick, followed by the deflation when the name Renaldo Balkman was announced to the Madison Square Garden crowd. As long time readers of the blog know, I LOVE Balkman and think he will be a good NBA player. But picking him at 20 is ridiculous. Balkman, when not playing Humpty Hump’s body double, seemed to have a little bit of support from Spike Lee who kept insisting he was a “sleeper”, but I dont even know if Spike believed it. You know that no one believes in you when the considerate Jay Bilas continually makes fun of you. Long live the Humpty Hump!!!!

2. There were lots of interesting tidbits about Adam Morrison that came through during the evening. The fact that he is the new face of EA Sports (“Yeah I cried, but when I get to the NBA, other people will be crying too!”) is sort of bizarre….unless of course you consider that the only fact I know for certain about Morrison is that he is good at Halo. Dick Vitale of course blew a gastket praising Morrison, but the highlight of his evening had to be Stuart Scott. While interviewing Morrison, Stuart Scott uttered a phrase that will never be repeated on a future draft night. When speaking about Morrison’s diabetes he said, “have you sought out advice recently from Chris Dudley?” Enjoy that, because Cy Young’s wins record will be beaten before that is repeated.

3. Great watching the saga of Marcus Williams, the laptop stealin’, doughnut eatin’, turnover makin’ point guard who was the official draft slider of the night. I always thought of Williams as an arrogant, punk kid (likely because he did commit grand theft), but then I spoke to three high school recruits recently who spoke about they considered Williams as a mentor. So he cant be that bad….well at least he hasnt been that bad since his momma moved in with him. Didn’t you love that interview? Mom told the interviewer that she “had to get her mom on” and moved in with Marcus during his last year of college. Man you KNOW that had to cramp Marcus’s style. Cant get drunk, have women over, rob jewelry stores….a real burden on the college experience.

4. Is it just me or was the girl that Patrick O Bryant of Bradley kissed on the lips fourteen years old? I mean I love playing the “Is it a mom versus is it a girlfriend?” game at the draft, but I have never thought that we would have a “Is it the girlfriend or the little sister?” game on our television screens. She truly looked fourteen and Bryant kissed….not in a sister way, but in a “you my girl” way. This needs to be investigated.

5. You gotta love Jay Bilas, who has the best way to put kids down for traits that he doesnt like. About the least heralded first overall pick ever, Andrea Bargnini, he said, “he cant’ rebound, post up or bully people, but otherwise he is a great first pick.” TRANSLATION: He is soft and will be mediocre. About Bobby Simmons he said, “there are some things he does well, but others he truly needs to work on.” TRANSLATION: This guy is a player from the Triangle so I wont be harsh….but he will not be good. And my favorite about Tyrus Thomas, “he needs to improve his understanding of the game.” TRANSLATION: He is a moron.

6. Once again, the foreign players showed up in droves. ESPN has attempted to help the average fan understand the guys that no one knows by bringing in Fran Fraschilla, whose expertise on foreign players is about the most specific niche an analyst can have, to tell us about some of the players. But once again, I am skeptical of ALL these guys. They all look the same to me, tall and lanky and shooting threes. I am told that all will be as good as Dirk Nowitski, but I know that most will make Darko look like Magic. This holds true for no one more than Mohammad Sene who averaged 3 POINTS A GAME IN BELGIUM. Read that phrase again and then ask yourself why Seattle would take him 10th. The NBA is run by people who Bilas would say “need to improve their understanding of the game.”

7. I was suprised to see Rudy Gay fall as low as he did. Memphis did a great job trading up to get him as I think if he ever focuses, he can be one of the best players from the draft. As for Houston, do they really believe that Battier for Gay is a fair trade. I mean Battier and Gay are synonomous as words, but that does not mean they are equal as players.

8. The little factoids about the players all entertain me. But you can also tell when a player is really uninteresting and ESPN can find nothing worthwhile to say about them. For Hilton Armstrong, the ESPN graphic stated that “he once played a game when he was 16 with two left shoes.” I cant decide if this is the most trivial or most amazing fact I have ever heard.

9. Hard to see our man Dickie V absolutley RIP on Rajon Rondo. Because there are no high school kids for Vitale to claim are being picked too high, he took up the bandwagon of Marcus Williams and bemoaned how far he fell. Part of that led him to say that all Rajon does is “pound the ball on the floor” and that he cant shoot “at all”, likening him to a “.220 hitter who comes to spring training and says he will learn to hit.” Harsh criticism from Mr. Positive. But at least now Rajon can actually pay for that car he was driving….I kid, because I love.

10. Finally, I always the annual viewing of the melancholly of a kid being drafted by the Utah Jazz. This time it was Ronnie Brewer who got up when his name was announced and had a look on his face that said, “Come on, UTAH! I just spent my whole college career in Arkansas and now I have to go to Utah….what is Wyoming not available. I was supposed to go to Orlando and Redick Utah. I mean come on, why not pick Kevin Pittsnogle or another Curtis Borschdt….this is bullsh**!!”

I love the draft and want it to happen again very soon.

Article written by Matt Jones