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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

To-Do List for the Day Before the End of the World

It’s Bow to the Brow day at Bourbon and Toulouse. Have some jambalaya and pretend you’re in NOLA while raising money for the Red Cross. Eyebrow attire is optional.

Well, we are less than 36 hours away from seeing our Cats advance to the national championship game for the first time in fourteen years.  But with all the frenzy of this past week (like pretending to do work while you read ESPN articles and vote in Dick Vitale’s online poll), there may still be some things that you forgot to do to prepare.  You’re not alone in that, so I’ve assembled some things below that need to get done through the course of the day to get us ready for tomorrow.  Feel free to add to the list in the comments section; let’s all help each other out here.

1) Do Laundry

You may be like me, and have your favorite “gameday” garb to wear when the going gets big.  Personally, mine is a really old blue sweater from about 1984 that I’m fairly sure is homemade.  It looks awful.  But it’s great.  It may or may not be good luck, since I wore it at the North Carolina game last December.  But regardless of what it is that you like to wear to bring good fortune, you don’t want to be the smelly guy in the crowd at wherever it is you choose to watch the game.  People want to focus on basketball, not the guy next to them who smells like fromunda cheese.

2) Find a Place to Watch the Game

If you’re on campus, trying to find somewhere to watch tomorrow is going to be difficult.  If you were looking at heading to the usual spots on Limestone, you may need to show up early.  And by early, I mean like ten o’clock in the morning.  Seriously, it’s going to be a madhouse.  Ideally, you’ll be able to find a stool near a TV somewhere, preferably one that’s close to Euclid so that you can storm the intersection and climb lamp posts like the rest of us.

3) Watch This Video on Repeat

Like many others, I’m stuck in Kentucky this weekend and can’t make it down to NOLA to watch, in person, the greatest Final Four ever.  So, in addition to heading to Bourbon and Toulouse near my house, I’ll be listening to Tom Waits dealing the cards and rolling the dice, and pretending that I’m there.  It’s not the same, but it’s close.

4) (Re-)Read the Bill Keightley Article

If you’re simply a morning KSR reader, or only check out the articles in order to kill time at work/school, you may have missed something pretty neat.  Even if you’ve read it already (like I have), do yourself a favor and go back and re-read Ashley Scoby’s thoughts on Mr. Wildcat, whose passing occurred exactly four years from tomorrow.  If that doesn’t get you fired up and ready to stomp Cardinal fans like Ed Norton in American History X, I’m not sure what will.

5) Talk Trash

This is a big one.  You only have one day left to do this, people, so it’s now or never.  Whether it’s reading excerpts of the Karen Sypher “biography” out loud all down Bardstown Road, drawing attention to Rick Pitino’s failed Hall of Fame bid, or telling Looavull fans that their fifteen seconds minutes of fame are almost up, it’s really hard to go wrong.  You get ten points for every middle finger they throw your way, and fifty points for each tear they shed.  There’s no prize except seeing them cry (which should be enough).  Let the games begin.


What’d I miss?  What are you doing to prepare for the greatest day in basketball this state has ever seen?  Let me know.  We’re all in this together.  Oh, and…

Go Cats.

Article written by Corey Nichols

29 Comments for To-Do List for the Day Before the End of the World

  1. ktmiln2
    9:05 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Tom Waits is awesome. That is all.

  2. Blue Balls
    9:08 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    I’m gonna have a panic attack, then imagine what it would be like to win by 30, then have another panic attack. Rinse and repeat

  3. Logan - Mason KY
    9:10 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Lol! 😀

  4. Carl
    9:14 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Stock up on your favorite “rally shot” alcohol. Not that we’ll need it but you can share and watch your UL friends get smashed trying to will their team to execute the impossible by downing more drink.

  5. Random Nibbler
    9:16 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    awful. HE needs to cough that floppy loogi out of his throat.

  6. Echo 1
    9:18 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Talk trash? I’m trying. But, I have met too many idiots that are fans of both teams. Hell , I’m considering going for dialysis today just to get in a scrap.

  7. VaBBN
    9:24 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    All I know is that my a$$ chewed out in my weekly production meeting. They asked what I actually did this week (ala Office Space) and I told them it was KSR’s fault. They didn’t know what that was because I work in Gloucester, Virginia. So they probably think that I have an STD or something. Whatever they thought, it didn’t work. Screw it…GO CATS!

  8. Corey Nichols strikes again
    9:26 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    still a doucher

  9. CatfaninNashvegas
    9:28 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    I must cue up the DVR because Ill be coaching my daughters’ soccer teams. And then I must ignore all radios, phones, TVs, and people that want to tell me how the game is going.

    9:28 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    last time i went to the BnT festivities and got my jorts cut, we lost. so i’m torn now. should i go eat there?

  11. BobbyA
    9:35 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Do the opposite of what you were doing during the first Indiana and the last Vanderbilt game. This SHOULD ensure victory.

  12. Al's IndiCats
    9:35 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    LMAO @6. Here’s my open letter to UL…..
    Looserville, your run is complete, your 15 seconds/minutes are gone. And your Fairy God “Brother” has run out of wishes. AND that shoe you dropped getting to the final four? Cinderella’s is going to whip that AZZ of yours getting it back. You’ve come as far as you can and BIG BROTHER is happy you made it this far. But it’s over, gone, finished, No Mas, Kaput, Ended! Thanks for your participation and we’ll catch up with old times this summer.

    9:35 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Make Kentucky Lemonade: 2 Beers, 2 Cups of Vodka, 1 can of Pink Lemonade Concentrate and a few drops BLUE food coloring for added fun!! A must have on Gameday.

  14. DT in DC
    9:35 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    I have to go to an effing wedding! That’s what I get for being friends with University of Florida fans. I might have to sit on the back row for the best blackberry signal in the church for updates.

  15. Wu Tang Financial
    9:43 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    #14 He’s not a true friend if he thinks his wedding is more important than the UK/UL game. I would tell him to get somebody else, or become deathly ill today, lol!

  16. mocha
    9:43 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    not trying to stir up trouble because i read this site multiple times daily and comment almost as frequently.
    however, i don’t agree with using the analogy of “stomping the cards like ed norton in american history X”.
    anyone who has seen that movie knows norton stomped a black guy and he was a white supremacist……not the best idea for an analogy.
    carry on.

  17. kbrenn
    9:46 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    @16 – i completely agree with you. very inappropriate.

  18. Chuck
    9:48 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    16 – really? Could you complete your analogy with this game considering most of the players on both teams are African American? Take a pill.

  19. Paintsville Mafia
    9:58 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    #LouisvilleFansExist Crown Royal, Line Beards, L’s Up
    Get it trending on Twitter

  20. Logan - Mason KY
    9:59 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    16 – This is a site for trash talk. Get used to it.

  21. Give me a Racoon, please.
    10:08 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    14, I’d skip my grandfather’s funeral for this game. Just sayin’.

  22. Cardsux
    10:17 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    21. I’d skip my own funeral for this game. Heaven can wait.

  23. Walter Sobchak
    10:22 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    20) this isn’t a site for trash talk, it’s a site where trash talk is allowed. making fun of stupid things rick pitino does or stupid things that his players say isn’t talking trash. it’s more about pointing out ridiculous things and laughing at them.

  24. Walter Sobchak
    10:23 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    22) a win tomorrow = heaven

  25. mocha
    11:00 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    18. doesn’t matter if the players are black, white, purple, orange, or yellow. basically saying we should crush and stomp our opponent like a white supremacist did to a black guy is not appropriate for this site or any other. it’s not sports presented in the most ridiculous manner possible, it’s an attempt at humor that crossed the line, that’s all i’m saying. timing also couldn’t be worse with the whole trayvon martin thing going on right now.

  26. Rudy
    11:16 am March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Bring back BTI.

  27. WildcatFloyd88
    12:16 pm March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Where do I get a Three Floyds Brewing shirt?

  28. Drew's Ailing Liver
    12:46 pm March 30, 2012 Permalink

    That looks like the beer trappe, not B&T

  29. Manny
    1:45 pm March 30, 2012 Permalink

    Just heard Matt on the radio up here in Chicago. It was a pleasant surprise.