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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

This is Rick Pitino for Rosetta Stone

Rick Pitino and John Calipari have a long bitter history between them and have taken their healthy distaste for each other to several stops alogn their career.  Just a few weeks ago, after Ricky Three Stacks accepted the Puerto Rican job, rumors surfaced that Calipari could take the head job for the Dominican Republic and the feud could go international.  Kentucky fans, though, wondered what benefit could be found in Coach Cal potentially taking over the Dominican Republic and fighting for gold in the name of Eloy Vargas.  We kept hearing just “recruiting”,which seemed pretty vague, so the news yesterday that Rick Pitino had five reasons for taking the Puerto Rico job was obviously intriguing.

Over on his official site, which is currently playing “ASAP” by T.I. (make your own joke), Rick Pitino took the time to explain to what he calls a “confused” Jeff Goodman just exactly why he decided to take his talents to the Caribbean.  But, in typical Pitino fashion, you get the feeling there’s a lot of smoke being blown.  Pitino confirmed the recruiting angle and says that the other reasons for taking the job are because Ralph Willard is friends with the Director of the PR team, he gets to take on the challenge of qualifying for the Olympics and U of L can cancel their Australian trip and go to the Bahamas to scrimmage the PR team.  Whatever.  But, Rick’s final reason might be the best. 

Take it away, Coach:

Finally, meeting great people and having new experiences at my age is something that I will treasure. I just purchased all five levels of RosettaStone. Also, at my age learning a new language is something special.

I could think of about four or five things more important for him to learn at his age, but there you go. All that time coaching ESL kids and not a lick of Spanish picked up.  It’s a damn shame.  But, I guess you have your answer now.  Want to know if Coach Cal would take the Dominican Republic job? Well, maybe you ought to look into his foreign language credits. 

¿A qué distancia está de Cincinnati de aquí?

Article written by Thomas Beisner