Andrew Wiggins has been mentioned in a whopping 482 KSR posts, which makes the fact that some of us are undergoing “Wiggins Fatigue” totally understandable. Look, we all know the kid is awesome. The Next LeBron, Canadian Jordan, and every single superlative under the sun have been used to describe the 6’7″ 190 lb. small forward, who, as we all are well aware, is still deciding between Kentucky, Kansas, North Carolina and Florida State. I know his college list better than my nephew’s birthdays at this point (which is pretty shameful…sorry Sam, Alex, Forrest and Wyatt!), and the question “What will Wiggins do” dominates most of my conversations, even though I don’t even live in Kentucky.
Say it with me in your best Jan Brady voice, BBN: “Wiggins, Wiggins, Wiggins!”
Don’t get me wrong: I pray we get the kid. He’s awesome, and with him, we would be unstoppable. Without him, we will still be amazing, but if he decides to bring his talents here, we could be the the team legends are made of. One day, little boys and girls will wear Wiggins’ UK jersey while playing basketball in their driveways on Mars. Instead of “Want to be like Mike,” it will be “Want to be like Wig,” or something much, much more clever than that.
But the wait is killing me.
For fun, I sat down and made a list of things I have waited for more patiently than Andrew Wiggins’ decision:
— My 16th birthday
— My 21st birthday
— The first Saturday of college football
— Big Blue Madness
— Any trip to Vegas
— The 1996, 1997, 1998 and 2012 National Championship games
— My last day at my old job
— My wedding and honeymoon
— The last Harry Potter book
— My first encounter with Oscar Combs
— The results of the first “Who Wants to be a KSR Blogger” Contest
— A table at Pancake Pantry
— The Harlem Shake to get old
— Yoga pants to become acceptable as everyday wear
— The day someone rids the world of mosquitoes
— Matthew Mitchell to become my best friend
— A low fat sour cream or peanut butter that actually taste like the real thing
— The next episode of “Breaking Bad”
— Don Draper to figure out his life on “Mad Men”
I encourage you to add yours in the comments section.