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They Are Who We Thought They Were: Tennessee Vols (Part II)

I see you made it back.  Now let’s talk football…

The Streak

Tennessee has beat Kentucky 24 straight times.  It’s the longest active win streak in college football and it ends tomorrow.

1985 Lexington L 42-0
1986 Knoxville L 28-9
1987 Lexington L 24-22
1988 Knoxville L 28-24
1989 Lexington L 31-10
1990 Knoxville L 42-28
1991 Lexington L 16-7
1992 Knoxville L 34-13
1993 Lexington L 48-0
1994 Knoxville L 52-0
1995 Lexington L 34-31
1996 Knoxville L 56-10
1997 Lexington L 59-31
1998 Knoxville L 59-21
1999 Lexington L 56-21
2000 Knoxville L 59-20
2001 Lexington L 38-35
2002 Knoxville L 24-0
2003 Lexington L 20-7
2004 Knoxville L 37-31
2005 Lexington L 27-8
2006 Knoxville L 17-12
2007 Lexington (4OT) L 52-50
2008 Knoxville L 28-10

Head Coach, Lane Kiffin

I could go on all day on this one, but I won’t give Lane Kiffin the pleasure.  Instead, I’ll just keep it simple and say Kiffin will only go as far as his dad takes him.  And his dad is very old.

Head Coach’s Wife, Layla Kiffin

Lane Kiffin doesn’t deserve the Tennessee job and he certainly doesn’t deserve his wife either.  He out-kicked his punt coverage on this one, for sure.

Key Players To Watch


#14 Eric Berry, DB
(is not winning the Heisman)
Eric Berry is arguably the best player in college football.  NFL GMs are salivating over the one they call “The Fifth Dimension.” He has a website comparable to Coach Cal’s and his own “Berry 4 Heisman” billboards.  Prior to October 31, 2009, Berry had never been flagged for a penalty in his collegiate career.  Prior to November 28th, 2009, he had never lost to Kentucky.


#8 Jonathan Crompton, QB
(196-335, 2,345 yds, 25 TDs, 11 INTs)
Crompton was awful at the beginning of the season, but he turned it around and has been playing good football in the past few games.  Kentucky’s front seven will need another performance like the second half of the Georgia game to win this one.  Too much time in the pocket and Crompton will pick our secondary apart.


#2 Montario Hardesty, RB
(225 rushes, 1,127 yds, 9 TDs)
Hardesty will be getting A LOT of touches tomorrow.  He is Lane Kiffin’s work horse on offense and the Vols will certainly try to run all over Kentucky.  Let’s hope we don’t see a repeat of the show Anthony Dixon put on at Commonwealth earlier this season.

Key Players To Watch Out For


Nu’keese Richardson #90542-0114
Nu’keese (French? German?) is a known environmentalist and model citizen of Knoxville.  He recycles, turns off every light when he leaves the house, and drives a hybrid vehicle when running from the cops.  He also robs people with a pellet gun.


Mike Edwards #90542-0115
Like Richardson, Mike Edwards also enjoys a good armed robbery.  Edwards says he prefers cash but he will also take your family photos, Red Lobster gift card, Kroger Plus card, and Listerine Breath Strips.


Janzen Jackson #90542-0116
Janzen Jackson will play tomorrow despite being arrested with Nu’keese (I think it’s piglatin) and Edwards.  No, that’s not a touchdown the officials are signaling for.  Jackson is just holding them at gunpoint.


Nyshier Oliver, XL
Every athlete has their own unique rituals and routines before a game.  Lones Seiber listens to Panic at the Disco, Tim Tebow sits on Urban Meyer’s lap, and Nyshier Oliver shoplifts.  The UT freshman was arrested just six hours before Tennessee took the field against Memphis.  The police report says Oliver stole a $110 shirt from Dilliard’s.  I’m guessing it was a limited edition Ed Hardy.

Final Word/Prediction

If we don’t get ’em this year, I don’t think we’ll ever get ’em.  The streak HAS TO end tomorrow and I think it will.  Tennessee is banged up and Kentucky is playing for second place in the NFL SEC East.  Here’s how it will go down:

Randall Cobb will throw for a touchdown in the first quarter to give Kentucky a 7-0 lead.  Lane Kiffin will tweet that the Vols let Kentucky score to get the fans fired up.  A few field goals later and the Cats go into the locker room with a 10-6 lead.  At halftime, Brooks tells the team that he will retire because it interferes with the Farmer’s Market on Saturday mornings.  The team comes out inspired in the second half and dominates the entire game.  Derrick Locke will rush for 786 yards on 3 carries, Will Fidler will return a punt for a touchdown, and Micah Johnson will fight the entire Tennessee team after a busted run near the Vols sideline.  Kentucky wins this one 59-6 and Rich Brooks punts Smokey into the student section as they storm the field.  Joker Phillips will give the double birds to Lane Kiffin from up top and Randall Cobb is seen sprinting to the University Inn with a hammered Layla Kiffin over his shoulder.

But seriously…

Kentucky 23, Tennessee 20 (Seiber at the horn followed by the “throat slit” motion)

Go Cats.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR