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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

They Are Who We Thought They Were: Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks

I’ve been dreading this week since the very first TAWWTTW.  I know absolutely nothing about Louisiana-Monroe, nor does Google or Wikipedia.  But, I took what little information I could find, and it turns out that UL Monore is who we thought they were.  And here they are, the Warhawks of the University of Louisiana at Monroe College of Gerontological Sciences

The University of Louisiana at Monroe

Nicole Aaron and Ferrari St. Paul tell us all about kayaking, boating, and fishing in the bayou:

 

Notable Alumni

— Tim McGraw – He’s an indian outlaw, half cherokee and choctaw, his baby she’s a chippewa, she’s one of a kind.  McGraw also enjoys taking little boys fishing when they’re only 8 years old.

— Tim Brando – Play-by-play announcer and studio host for CBS sports.  He holds a record for covering 25 different sports for ESPN.

— Ben Sheets – Four-time MLB All Star pitcher, formerly of the Milwaukee Breweres (2001-2008)

Cheerleader Scouting Report

I’ll stick to the SEC.

Know your sideline reporter, Amanda Joseph

This season, UL Monroe introduced a new sideline report, Miss Louisiana 2007, Amanda Joseph.  (Ms. Joseph is the one in the middle.)  I wonder if she knows anything about football.

Welcome back to college football, Nick Saban

On November 17, 2007, the 5-6 UL Monroe Warhawks went into Tuscaloosa as 25 point underdogs and came out with a 21-14 win over Nick Saban’s Crimson Tide.  Here’s to hoping Charlie Weatherbie and his Warhawks are only good for one big SEC road win.

Key Players To Watch

#14 Cody Wells, QB
Redshirt freshman Cody Wells will be making his first collegiate start tomorrow, filling in for Trey Revell who was injured last week against Arkansas State.   Freshman… First start…SEC opponent… Commonwealth.  It was nice knowing you, Cody.  Confidence, no Trevard Lindley, and those Bama Bangs won’t even save you in this one. 
(R.I.P. Cody Wells’ Career… Oct. 24, 7:00 pm – Oct. 24, 7:43 pm)

#5 Frank Goodin, RB
So far this season, Frank Goodin has 110 carries for 558 yards and 9 touchdowns. 
Pretty good midseason numbers, but none of that matters tomorrow.  Micah Johnson will have that smile wiped off his face by the end of the first quarter.

#10 Tim Taylor, WR
Tim “Don’t Call Me Toolman” Taylor is a transfer from Western Michigan University.  According to his ULM profile, he has a wife, Jill, and three sons, Brad, Randy, and Mark.  UUAAGGH

Final Word/Prediction

Earlier in the week, I was worried that this could be a close game, maybe even an upset.  Kentucky is coming in off of a big win at Auburn (Go Cats) and UL Monroe is 5-2, with their only losses coming on the road at Texas and at Arizona State.  But, with the loss of their starting quarterback, plus my optimism for UK football, I came to my senses and now I’m calling for a blowout… 

Morgan Newton and Will Fidler both have good games, and this time, they do it through the air.  Newton shows off his ability to scramble and get rid of the ball, while Fidler introduces Commonwealth to his laser-rocket arm.  Chris Matthews finally puts up the numbers we’ve all expected and Gene McCaskill catches his first touchdown of the season.  Randall Cobb continues to dominate with the ball in his hands, and goes for 798 total yards, and introduces a new health care plan while fielding a punt in the second quarter.

Kentucky 34, Louisiana-Monroe 13

And for those keeping score at home, my predictions are 6-0.  Go Cats. 

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR