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They Are Who We Thought They Were: Algeria

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Beat Algeria and we’re in. It’s as simple as that. Who is Algeria, you ask?  Well, they are who we thought they were…

The People’s Democratic Republic of Algeria

The People’s Democratic Republic of Africa is the second largest country in Africa and the 11th largest country in the world.  The Sahara Desert makes up nearly 90% of Algeria’s 2,381,740 sq km size, while the other ten percent has much less sand.  As of 5:46pm EST today, exactly 34,636,189 people inhabit the PDRoA.  Of those 34,636,189, only 67,088 are left handed.

Location

Algeria is located in North Africa and is known as the gateway between Africa and Europe.  It is bordered by Tunisia, Libya, Morocco, Western Sahara, Mauritania, Mali, Niger, and the Mediterranean Sea.  But you knew that already.

The Casbah

The Casbah is the citadel in Algiers, Algeria that was rocked by the Clash. “Sharia don’t like it, rockin the Casbah, rock the Casbah…”

Notable Algerians

No one.  Absolutely no one.

How They’ve Performed So Far

Algeria has had a hard time putting the ball in the net in the 2010 World Cup.  It’s safe to say that Bryan the Intern has scored since Algeria has.  The Algerians lost 1-0 in their first match against Slovenia and then ran around doing nothing for 90 minutes with England in a 0-0 draw.

Key Players to Watch

Faouzi Chaouchi, Goalkeeper

Haircut FAIL meets Goalkeeper FAIL:

Anther Yahia, Defender

Antar Yahia scored the game winning goal against Egypt that put Algeria into the World Cup.  Following that goal, Yahia was named the best Arab player of 2009.

Rafik Saifi, Forward

Saifi is nicknamed the Algerian Eric Cantona.  Yeah, I don’t know who that it is, either. Saifi has been a member of the Algerian squad since 1998 and has scored 19 goals in 60 appearances. He also looks creepy as hell.

Prediction

536 KSR commenters will complain about soccer.

As far as the game goes, the ‘Mericans finally decide to play hard in the first fifteen minutes of a match and don’t allow an early goal.  Clint Dempsey scores in the 37th minute and Altidore adds another in 56th.  Amurrica holds on to win 2-0 and advances to the knockout round.

Go Cats.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR