While I may not be as fashionably dressed as Shannon Sharpe, have as large of a head as Dan Marino, or enjoy a moustache as full as Bill Cowher’s, I am — like many of you, I’d suppose — an avid professional football fan. And as such, I am to understand there’s a game of some magnitude on the horizon.
Said game, which I like to call the “Super” Bowl, should capture the attention of millions in about a week and a half. Especially those in the Northeast United States — namely New York City, whereupon I would imagine most true Giants fans reside, and New England, which has garnered coverage lately due to the giant bandwagon it has been elaborately constructing over the past few months.
You see, the Patriots, under the lead of an unheralded, under-the-radar quarterback named Tom (Tim?) Brady, have thus far remained undefeated. And here, on this site, is likely the first time you have heard this amazing fact. We truly have amazing statistical abilities and can calculate things other news outlets cannot. Then there’s the Giants, where a scrappy tyke named Eli is receiving lots of undue credit for things his offense and defense are accomplishing. It is worth noting that Eli’s brother is a famous television commercial presenter, and you perhaps have seen his work.
And the musical tributes to the big game come in droves. You may remember the infamous “Super Bowl Shuffle,” which always receives time on this very site during Super Bowl season, and which remains hilarious every time one sees it — or perhaps you may have had Jim McMahon perform it lately at your child’s fifth birthday party for a reasonable fee and a bottle of Hi-C. Sonically, nothing pleases like the Super Bowl Tribute song.
Here, then, are some of the Patriot fan base’s homages to their beloved team, and I’m going back to the well to find some Giants material as well. But I think, in the meantime, this should definitely tide you over. Whether you like small people in Celtics jerseys or prefer riotous morning zoo routines from the eighties, this post should appease both of those extremely large demographics. Please enjoy.
That is all.