It was one of the most interesting quotes I’ve ever seen come out of a UK post-game press conference. When Joker Phillips said “Here’s what’s discouraging to me. You see guys in pre-game singing Kanye West songs. How can they freaking understand every word that he sings and they can’t understand the freaking signals. That’s what’s frustrating”, it immediately took its place along side “Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane” as one of my favorite UK quotes of all-time. Maybe it’s because Joker was being so candid or maybe it’s because it reminds you just how young these athletes actually are, but it’s definitely because I see the possibility to make Kanye West the unofficial mascot of the 2008 Kentucky football season – even though Rich Brooks strikes me as more of a Lil Wayne fan.
So, since The Louis Vuitton Don and UK football go together like peanut butter and jelly or vinegar and water, I think it’s only appropriate that we try to summarize all of the Kentucky pigskin happenings of the past few weeks using the lyrics of the self-proclaimed greatest of all-time. Welcome to this new era of Kentucky football.
The Louisville Game, Celebration
Yeah, you know what this is
It’s a celebration, bitches!
And what a celebration it was. From the domination of tailgating festivities to the post-game heckling, Kentucky made Louisville its little, glorified JUCO bitch. So grab a drink, grab a glass. And let’s look forward to making it three in a row next year.
“Boo-Gate”, Family Business
“Y’all gon’ sit down, have a good time this reunion
And drink some wine like Communion
And act like everything fine and if it isn’t
We ain’t lettin’ everybody in our family business
The booing of Mike Hartline would have really been no big deal had it been a few ignorant fans making themselves look like asses. Unfortunately, it was a few ignorant fans making themselves look like asses in a manner so loud and bold that Rich Brooks had to address it in his press conference. And then every media outlet from this blog to ESPN.com made mention of the insanely rabid and “irrational” UK fans. So, let’s just keep it in the family next time. Or kick that guy booing right in his sack.
Kyrus Lanxter, Can’t Tell Me Nothin’
Was you sayin’ somethin’?
Nuh-uh, you can’t tell me nothin’.
How many times must Lanxter get ripped by Brooks on the sideline for giving up on his route or dropping a ball or committing a penalty or running the wrong route? Your guess is as good as mine, but it has to stop sometime soon. Not only for Mike Hartline’s sake, but also because I can’t afford to rip anymore hair out of my already receding hairline.
Dicky Lyons, Flashing Lights
Feelin’ like Katrina with no FEMA,
Like Martin with no Gina,
Like a flight with no visa
Everyone said at the beginning of the season that the UK receiving corps was Mr. Lyons and a bunch of unknowns. But, three weeks into the season, you would have thought that there would have been a little more definition in the depth chart and at least one person would have stepped forward and seized the opportunity. Outside of a great performance out of the injured back-up quarterback in game one, the rest of the gang has left Dicky standing alone.
Rich Brooks, Diamonds from Sierra Leone
The preacher said we need leaders
Right then my body got still like a paraplegic
The first sign that UK might be in a little trouble heading into the Middle Tennessee game was when ole Grandpa Brooks came out and blasted his team for lack of leadership. Heading into the third weekend of the season, that’s not something you like to hear and it sure showed on the field against the Blue Raiders. The good news is that throughout the battle, there signs emerging of leadership from Dicky Lyons (who was getting after the young receivers) and Mike Hartline, who finally looked comfortable in taking command of the huddle. This is still a major work in progress right now, but if Hartline is able to develop that commanding presence and the respect of his offensive peers, things could be on the up-and-up.
The MTSU Ending, Jesus Walks
I’m just trying to say the way school needs teachers,
the way Kathie Lee needed Regis,
that’s the way I need Jesus
We all needed Jesus at the end of that game and he came to us in the form of number 36. Amen.
The General Attitude, We Major
Cool off thinkin’ we local,
Come on homie, we major
We major (come on, homie, we major)
Ok, maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves. But, still, with the success of the past two years and the continued improvement on the recruiting trail, who’s to say that UK isn’t on the verge of being major. Of course, we’re probably better off discussing the validity of this statement on October 5.
So, yes, we are in a new era of UK football, folks. Kanye West is providing the soundtrack and being quoted in post-game press conferences, but yet I strangely couldn’t be more excited. Hopefully at some point in the near future, we’ll all be singing this.