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The South Carolina Student Resolution

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As Matt mentioned in the night post, The Student Senate at the University of South Carolina sent a letter to the UK Student Government and the Kentucky Kernel inviting UK to play South Carolina in “Any Sport, Any Time”. Obviously seeing their window to gloat closing quickly, the USCSG drafted a resolution that read like this:

WHEREAS, even being ranked as the best team in the country, Kentucky still lost AND
WHEREAS, any University of South Carolina major sports program is far superior to any Kentucky will ever put together, AND
WHEREAS, our mascot is both original and awesome and not just some duplicate of more than 8 other universities across the country, NOW THEREFORE
BE IT RESOLVED by the Student Senate of THE great University of South Carolina
THAT we hereby invite the University of Kentucky to come to Columbia, SC to play anytime in any sport, AND
THAT we further acknowledge our counterparts at Kentucky understand their record their record in the past three games in basketball stands at 0-3, AND
THAT we further acknowledge our counterparts at Kentucky understand their record in the past eleven seasons in football stands at 0-11
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that even under budget duress, we will provide tissues and bandages for the wounded egos, hearts and minds of the wildcat nation

Folks at Kentucky have decided to take the high road and not respond, saying it was all in fun. And while they didn’t say it, I’m sure they also have better things to do with their time. But since they won’t, I will. Actually, my biggest beef with the whole resolution is that they didn’t capitalize Wildcat Nation. It’s probably something they wouldn’t understand. You see, you have to have a passionate fanbase to even be labeled a “nation”. And whatever you call us, be it Wildcat Nation, Big Blue Nation, etc., you’re admitting there is a legion of followers. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never heard of a Gamecock Nation.

So, you’ve won the last three basketball games. Congratulations. You’ve pulled your all-time record against us to 41-10. And I have a sneaking suspicion that you aren’t going to win 4 in a row. I applaud Devan Downey- he’s been a Cat killer – but let’s see how well you fare without him next season. While you go back to scraping together classes full of 2 and 3 star players, we will be reloading. Suffice it to say, you’ve spoken too soon. As for football, I can’t say much, 11 wins in a row can’t be attributed to flukes. But, again, I’ve got a feeling that that streak will also fall very soon.

Finally, it appears that the Student Senate at USC is continuing the fine tradition of South Carolina politicians. From the love poet that is Mark Sanford, Joe Wilson’s outbursts and your current Leiutenant Governor comparing kids who are on free or reduced lunch to feeding stray animals, I’d say you’re more than prepared to advance politically if drafting this letter is what you do during your meetings. And heck, I didn’t even get to this. So get your digs in while you can, USC. I have a feeling that the window has about shut.

Article written by Patrick Barker