Good Morning Everyone! Happy #LouisvilleHateDay. For the fifth consecutive year, we kick off the Thursday before UK-UL with #LouisvilleHateDay. It is a tradition unlike any other and I am here to deliver KSR’s version of Jim Nantz’s “Hello Friends.” For those of us at KSR, #LouisvilleHateDay epitomizes how we believe Kentucky sports are best covered…as fans, doing fan things and enjoy the fun aspects of college sports. And there is very little more fun than hating your rival, especially when it is Louisville. No fan base has more delusional, absurdist elements than Cardinal Nation and no group gives more material ripe for the picking than the marketing geniuses behind the phenomenon #L1C4.
Now we know, some of you don’t like #LouisvilleHateDay. The complaints usually fall into the three categories. First are those that believe that hating people is wrong and that word should not be used. But of course, we assume you realize that we don’t really hate Louisville or its fans. We hate them in the fun sense, similar to how you might hate broccoli, kudzu or Nickelback. If we see a Louisville fan in distress, we would most certainly help them after we put on our latex gloves and fumigated them for all transmittable diseases. Louisville fans are just like us, human beings. And even as a lesser form of us, they remain one in the bond of God’s love.
Second, there are those that think we should not act like Louisville exists at all and that by hating Louisville, we are somehow justifying them as a rival. While saying “Louisville Doesn’t Exist” is fun, clearly they do exist. The last time I checked, I reside in this fair city and for the most part, I find it a great place to live. We can’t hold against the city, those of its residents who choose to make irrational choices. When you go to Disney World, you don’t judge the quality of the rides or Mickey Mouse and his friends by the fat family from Iowa wearing fanny packs and eating oversized suckers do you? Well we don’t judge Louisville the metropolitan area by its Cardinal eye-tatted residents who use homophobic slurs and threaten to punch handsome bloggers. Louisville clearly exists and #LouisvilleHateDay is just an acknowledgement of that fact.
And finally, there are those of you who think it somehow demeans us to make jokes about all things Cardinal. We respectfully disagree. If a man gets kicked in the nuts, we as humans are ingrained to laugh. It is in our DNA. Similarly, when a male Louisville fan throws up L’s in a belly shirt with a visible tramp stamp while rocking a flat-bill hat, it is our duty as free thinking people to laugh. Making fun of Louisville is in that way a statement about humanity in general, and the rights of free citizens in particular. You may think that laughing at this guy is somehow mean or disrespectful:
But actually, when you laugh at him, what you are really saying is “I am standing up for my rights in this great land to be who I really am and not what society says I should be.” Louisville fans speak to our most primal cravings for ridiculousness. All we are doing on #LouisvilleHateDay is acknowledging that fact.
So sit back today and enjoy. The Louisville fans will be angry, but don’t listen to them. They are just jealous that they have no similar event of their own that doesn’t involve checking in with their parole officers. It is #LouisvilleHateDay and for that reason, it is time to dance: