Tonight, after a 37-day layoff, the #1 Auburn Tigers will face the #2 Oregon Ducks in the BCS National Championship. Auburn is trying to extend the SEC national championship streak to five in a row and Oregon is trying to stock the Nike film room. Kickoff is at 8:30 on ESPN and we have your official unofficial preview.
I’m sure you’re tired of hearing all of the talking heads on ESPN so I’ll make it short and sweet to hold you over until the game…
Bo knows how the coin will land. Bo Jackson and Ahmad Rashad are the honorary captains for tonight’s game. Bo Jackson played running back for Auburn from 1982 to 1985 and won the Heisman Trophy in 1985. Ahmad Rashad used to talk about the NBA on Saturday mornings. Auburn easily wins the toss.
Birk Berbstreit won’t be drinking a Manhattan in the Brent Musberger drinking game. That one’s for you, KSR podcast fans.
Oregon scores and they score fast. The Ducks lead the nation in scoring at 43.3 points per game. 35 of Oregon’s 71 touchdown drives took five plays or less. Over a third of those 71 drives took 56 seconds or less. We could be seeing a lot of Tostitos commercials tonight.
I have no idea what Nick Fairley just said. http://www.al.com/sports/index.ssf/2011/01/video_five_minutes_with_nick_f.html
History says Auburn only has a 17% chance of winning. Only 17% of Heisman winners have also won the National Championship in the same year. Alabama’s Mark Ingram did it last year, so the probability of it happening again is like 1 in $180,000.
Oregon’s uniforms will have more flash than the Natalie Merchant laser show. Nike pulled out all the stops (and bright green) for the Ducks’ uniforms. Fans watching the game in 3D are subject to blindness.
You can earn your college degree 100% online in as little as 2 to 3 years. The University of Phoenix makes it possible for virtually anyone to complete education courses. Your degree will increase your potential for top salaries—an important issue in today’s economic climate. You can balance family life, your career and achieve additional education through this renowned institution.
Defense wins championships. The Auburn defense finished 54th in the country in scoring defense, giving up 24.5 points per game. Oregon’s defense ranked 12th in the nation in scoring defense. Auburn has a pretty strong d-line (and that’s it) that’ll need to keep Oregon inside the hash marks if the Tigers are going to win the game. If LaMichael James can get outside and in the open field, it’s going to be a long night for Auburn.
The halftime show is so horny. As always, the two marching bands will be your halftime entertainment. My prayers for Jimmy Buffett, a former Auburn student, were unanswered.
Cecil Newton will watch the game in style. Papa Newton, in his diamond-studded Auburn jersey, will be popping bottles of Louis XIII in the “Holy Zion Church” stadium luxury box. Cam’s father reportedly demanded 3-million dollars from Tostitos and 1.5-million from the University of Phoenix in appearance fees for his son. Don’t worry though, Cam didn’t know about it.
Gene Chizik better savor the moment. Two years ago, Gene Chizik was 2-8 at Iowa State before his questionable hire at Auburn. He went a respectable 8-5 in his first season with the Tigers, then God (and AU boosters) gave him Cam Newton. My point: enjoy it while it lasts, Gene. This season is all because of your quarterback; it doesn’t make you an elite coach.
Be prepared for Vince Young comparisons. If Cam Newton dominates the game, highlights from the 2005 BCS National Championship game will take over your television.
Oregon’s cheerleaders will have tan lines. They went to the pool in Glendale yesterday…