The Making of a KSR Blogger

Dear KSR Readers:
It is with great regret that I inform you that I, Nathan Gower, will be regularly contributing to the waste of your time as you peruse the fine pages of kentuckysportsradio.com. I have been with the website in an official capacity for less than a week, and my Facebook account has already been flooded with friend requests and creepy private messages. Most of them from BTI.
With all of the love that has been sent my way, I thought that I would say “thank you” by giving you some insider information on what it really takes to be a writer for KSR. Surprisingly enough, “writing skills” is not a requirement, as evidenced by half of the posts on this site. However, other rules are strictly enforced.
Directly from the Kentucky Sports Radio Employee Handbook 2010-2011, all blogger candidates should be willing to adhere to the following mandates:
1. All bloggers, by the end of the first week of employment, should have a tattoo that reads: “Property of Kentucky Sports Radio, moderated by Matt Jones Thomas Beisner.” Placement of the tattoo is at the sole discretion of Drew Franklin.
2. All bloggers must massage the ego of Matt Jones once per day with an original compliment. Compliments should preferably be made in person, but other acceptable methods are via phone, text, or by sending flowers. Failure to comply will result in immediate suspension from the site (a la Kate Martin).
3. All bloggers will remain in a bathroom stall at the KSR compound for three hours, or until they “toughen up”, whichever comes first.
4. All bloggers will pronounce “Enes” in a way that preserves humor, regardless of whether such pronunciation is incorrect or offends Enes himself.
5. All bloggers will bold randomly to appease and/or confuse lazy readers.
6. All bloggers will include “FREE ENES” in every post until further notice.
7. All bloggers will take turns rubbing Matt’s feet while he entertains the masses on Kentucky Sports Radio (as in, the actual radio show . . . still some confusion there).
8. All bloggers will over-promise and under-deliver.
9. All bloggers should include no less than four grammatical mistakes in each post, simply to remind people that this is a free site.
10. All bloggers who wish to make use of a list in a post will end said list on a nice, round number. Preferably “10”.
So, there you go. The mystery is solved.
In all seriousness, I’m thrilled to be a part of the nonsense that is KSR. I appreciate you guys reading what I’ve got, and hopefully I can uphold the quality that you’ve come to expect from the site. If you are the type of person who enjoys reading inconsequential updates about the lives of KSR bloggers, you can join my 16 followers on twitter: @nathangower84. I’ll try to remember to tweet more than once a year.
God bless. Go Cats.
29 Comments for The Making of a KSR Blogger
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Gower Power! His .44 make sho all yo kids dont grow!
What happened to Kate? She was the anti-bti. She used facts and logic correctly.
Nice entry to the team.
God Bless?
You know the site is run by atheist liberals, right? How’d you sneak in?
You forgot a rule, above: All bloggers will write a minimum of one politically charged post per week.
font hurts my eyes. but i’ve been drunk for about 14 hours.
#3 She fell off a mountain stalking BTI….
Gah. Unexpected font change hurts the eyes.
Welcome Gower!
My bad about the font, ladies and gents. I’ll correct for next post.
Nice 1st post. Lots of chuckles 🙂
Nate, Grover, Natty G, G force, Gnat, Little Nate…
Please pick the appropriate nickname by which users can abuse you.
KSR Mandate #6 Must profess hatred both real and imaginary for dUKe, UL, and UNC.
1. Kate was horrible and boring.
2. The font, nix it!
3. be funny without trying to be funny. Sometimes you noobs get redundant.
That is all.
Wasn’t Gnat the boyfriend in John Candy’s Uncle Buck?
Good intro Nathan, Looking forward to many more (in the right font). And i agree, we need a nickname like “Nate the Intern” or sumptin.
Just for my own sake, Nathan IS a guy name, right?
16- Ha!
OK, that was funny. Good start. But Tyler can still whup your butt.
#FREE FakeGimel#
Any news on Fake Gimel on Kate?
Got to say, I would also like to see a “Behind the Music” on the dismissals of K.Martin & D.Rumbaugh. Although, I’m sure rule #11 ensures the ouster of any writer to divulge this info…
Kate was awesome Don….just because she didn’t make stupid ass posts like BTI doesn’t mean she was boring
Martha Stewart needs that envelope back.
I don’t know what it is, but I like this guy. Whether it’s because his name reminds me of an abnormal growth on the human body or it’s his coy, flirty humor… I like him. Welcome aboard, Gower.
Nicely done; good luck in your KSR endeavors.
nice to know its beisner, annointed by mj who will post personal info if you disagree with his opinion. poor guy.
Good first post. I laughed multiple times (esp the Kate reference)
# 16 I think Nathan Is gender neutral.
nice post
Nice 1st post. I didn’t see your requirement of 4 grammatical errors though…lol. A nice change 😉