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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

The Global Bacon Shortage’s Thursday News and Views

One of our greatest nightmares is about to become a reality: The world’s bacon supply is dwindling.

Britain’s National Pig Association is expecting a shortage of bacon across the globe. “It is unavoidable,” the group said in an official press release last week. According to the release, new data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests.

I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s terrifying.  This is the Aporkalypse.

I can think of one-million other things I’d rather the world run out of first: cancer, AIDs, Louisville fans — just to name a few. But bacon? BACON? We can’t be short on bacon. I mean, it’s bacon. America runs on that stuff.

I bet the Mayans are behind this. Damn them.


  The big news on Wednesday, like in the days before, was the status of Maxwell Smith. Smith did not throw the ball in Wednesday’s practice — as part of the staff’s Tuesday/Thursday plan — but he did hand the ball off with the first team. Afterwards, Joker Phillips said, “Max will be ready to play.”

Smith discussed the injury with reporters after practice. When asked about how he held up throwing the ball on Tuesday, he said, “I felt like I threw it pretty well. It was painful, so maybe I wasn’t able to snap on some balls like I wanted to. I made every throw but a little bit inaccurate. I’ll be alright. It will all come.”

Shoulder surgery could be an option on down the road, but the staff and trainers don’t believe it’s needed. They’ll talk about an operation in the offseason.

  If for some reason Smith can’t go, Jalen Whitlow will get the start in his place. Whitlow took all of the passing reps with the first team on Wednesday, although he didn’t exactly wow the staff with his play. “He wasn’t God-awful,” Joker said about the freshman’s day. “It’s practice. He made some throws,” he added.

  Some unfortunate injury news from the backfield: Coshik Williams is doubtful for Saturday’s game against South Carolina. Kentucky’s starting running back reaggravated that hip strain and will likely sit out against the Gamecocks.

On the defensive side, Mister Cobble is listed as doubtful with that joint infection.

  Switching over to basketball, tickets for the Blue-White game go on sale Thursday, October 4 at 9:00 am.The annual scrimmage is scheduled for Wednesday, October 24 at Rupp Arena. Tickets will be available online through or by calling Ticketmaster at 1-800-745-3000. Tickets will also be sold in person at the UK Ticket Office between the hours of 9:00 a.m.— 4:00 p.m. ET or by calling 1-800-928-2287. Fans can also obtain tickets by calling or in-person at the Rupp Arena Box Office (859-233-3535) or visiting statewide Ticketmaster outlets. The cost of the tickets will be $10 (lower level) and $5 (upper level). All seating is reserved and no general admission eRUPPtion Zone tickets will be available for this contest.

  Be on the lookout for James Young this weekend if you’re in Lexington for the game. The 2013 star announced on Twitter that he’ll visit Kentucky this weekend, just two weeks after Coach Cal was in Michigan for an in-home visit. It will be an unofficial visit to UK for Young.

  If you didn’t get a chance to read USA Today’s story on Julius Randle’s in-home visits, I encourage you to do so. It’s full of great quotes from Randle and his mother about each of the visiting coaching staffs. Like this:

Calipari’s message was simple: Come to Kentucky for a year, compete for a national title and dress nice on NBA Draft night.

“He said they lose first-round talent every year,” Randle says. “It’s obviously working. That ring he was wearing was crazy.”

“Yeah he was leading with the right a lot when he was talking,” Kyles jokes. “He made sure we saw that championship ring. It was hard not to see.”

Randle also said Cal showed off pictures of himself hanging out with Jay-Z.

“I’m not a businessman; I’m a business, man. Let me handle my business, damn.”

  From the California high school basketball scene, Marcus Lee cut his list down to two schools: Kentucky and California. Louisville had been in the mix for’s 15th-ranked player but Lee’s brother said Marcus has dropped the Cards from consideration.’s SEC Blog has a list of five SEC assistants poised to make the jump. Remember those names if Joker Phillips can’t turn things around this season. I’m giving him one more game before I jump off the wagon. There aren’t many of us still sitting here. At all.

  I’ll leave you with a look at the new locker room in Rupp Arena, via Coach Cal.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

29 Comments for The Global Bacon Shortage’s Thursday News and Views

  1. Ty's Rack
    11:14 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    I love Ty’s rack. First.

  2. Jimi
    11:18 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    That’s one of the most brilliant things i have ever seen.

    Now i wonder….when we win another title, will this floor be replaced again?

    GO Big Blue #9

  3. BaconLover
    11:24 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    I heard about the bacon shortage days ago, keep up Drew…old news.

  4. Linda Taylor
    11:37 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    3 – Matt talked about it on the radio earlier this week.

  5. Big Blue 66
    11:47 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    Aporkalypse is brilliant

  6. Linds4UK
    11:59 pm September 26, 2012 Permalink

    Drew, love your sense of humor!

  7. waltahtothealtah
    12:09 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Do we want another assistant, an offensive or defensive coordinator who has never led a program? Peronsally, If/when Joker is fired I would much rather get a guy who has been a successful head coach at another school, preferably a current successful head coach at another BCS school rather than the next newest up and comer who you’re basically rolling the dice on when it comes to his abilities to lead and build a program. I want a proven winner, not a top 5 assistant in SEC…. However, I wouldn’t complain about Kirby Smart if hired/pursued. haha

  8. DerbyFan
    12:13 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    You have revealed Joker’s problem from the get-go. Having one QB taking snaps for one type of play & another QB for another play in practice 3 days before a game is [email protected] stupid. No one can ever make up their minds about anything on this staff and this type of indecision kills the team time & time again.

  9. UKBlue
    1:27 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    MMM Beer I mean bacon You think bacon is expensive, cheese closed at $2.0825 lb today.

    So wishing football would hurry up & get over; sick of hearing about it !! Admit our mistakes, Fire Joker already & lets move on; get a head start on recruiting.

    If Cobble got MRSA, he’s done for the year. BTW: MRSA is huge on football teams & can spread.

    If you’re a high school kid and you see the Lodge with it’s Tempur Pedic beds, the Craft Center, plus Cal, and everything else that comes along with UK basketball; you would have to be out of your F’ing mind to go play anywhere else.

    Nice floor, yeah buddy

  10. Doesn't Matter
    1:38 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Frankly, it doesn’t matter who is healthy etc…just let them take all the time they need to heal/recover because we will lose either way. Hell, Joker could take the Steelers or Packers team and he couldn’t coach them to a win against USC or any other team for that matter.

  11. Scotty Sharp
    2:37 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    next year’s 5 on 5’s are going to be silly (1st 5 projected starters)

    PG Andrew Harrison
    SG Aaron Harrison
    SF Andrew Wiggins
    PF Julius Randle
    PF/C Kyle Wiltjer

    PG Jared Polson
    SG James Young
    SF Jon Hood
    PF Derek Willis
    C Willie Cauley-Stein

  12. Scotty Sharp
    3:06 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I have a feeling Monty pulls off a mini-super class of his own in Bird, Lee and Gordon. Landing Jabari Bird was a HUGE get for Cal, and I think that kid will influence at least one of the two (Gordon and Lee) to stay close to home as well. With Willis already committed, I just can’t see us landing Gordon as well assuming we get Randle. I think Gordon will wait on Randle’s decision. If Randle goes elsewhere, then I think Gordon will come. If Randle is a Cat, then Gordon will probably stay out West. Wiggins needs to hurry up and reclassify. I’m eager to see who commits first in Wiggins or Young and if they’re up to the idea of playing together. One could quite possibly influence the other’s decision. Can’t wait to see how the class of 2013 shakes out.

  13. Kingscuba89
    5:55 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    @10) MRSA is not season ending if its caught early enough so it can be treated. And as long ad they clean everything everyone will be fine

  14. Waiting
    6:09 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I will be glad when the recruits start committing. To me, it would be awesome to commit, then come to Big Blue Madness. Really wish the Harrison twins, Randle and Young would commit now. That would be a heck of a class in and of itself, and would still leave a couple for the spring.

  15. noel
    6:21 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    When will I be cleared by the ncaa?

  16. Bo Duke
    6:40 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    16) Whenever the NCAA gets around to it. Hopefully, this doesn’t drag on into the season.

  17. FrigFullofBeer
    6:48 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    OK, I am sold on Kirby Smart of Alabama…. I want this guy really bad, Mitch if you are reading this do Kentucky a really big favor and hire this guy!!!! I love the Cleveland Browns and with Kentucky football my football season sucks! Time to make we want Kirby T-shirts ASAP

  18. Isaac in Long Beach
    7:01 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I’ve made a basketball highlight video after the past two seasons that ksr posted. This year’s version is almost done. It’s good. Look for it in the next couple of days.

  19. SB
    7:48 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    In all seriousness about the bacon shortage, there is a real problem in nearly the entire southern half of the US with feral hogs. I hope this increases the number of hog hunts to quel the population.

  20. Kidnut
    8:58 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I can confirm the feral hog problem in the south, not only did they almost kill Travis while he was trying to wrangle one from a tree, the hogs are also making inspirational YouTube videos.

  21. samismammy
    9:12 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Aporkalypse?!?! LMFAO!!!! But this really IS terrible news. Everyone knows bacon is the only meat candy in existence. Sad, sad news.

  22. Jake
    9:31 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    In all seriousness, can UK pull Kirby Smart? Seems like he would try to get the Arkansas job or a top job in an other confrence. Would he be a guy that we would have to pay lots of money to come? it says he already makes almost 1 mill. Back to the real question would he come to UK? Matt talk about this on the show please….

  23. Bulldawg
    10:24 am September 27, 2012 Permalink

    The bacon bullet points are hilarious!!!!! Nice Drew. Oh, and thanks to you, Drew Franklin, I am now hooked on Breaking Bad. I just finished the 4th episode in the 2nd season…. I know I am a newb.

    I own a pot-bellied pig. She acts like a dog most times, except when she pulls all the flowers and bushes up around my house to make a soft spot to lay down… Should I place her into protective custody? I know how people can be about bacon. Oh, her name is Bacon too.

  24. Kirby Smart
    12:09 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    #23, Jake: Um, no. Why would I come to UK and basically end my career with a bottom feeder when I am one of the hottest assistants in the country? No thanks, I think I will take a job at a program where I can succeed – AND get paid a lot of money.

  25. Rambo
    12:29 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    12) Kyle Wiltjer will not be here next year, he will be in the NBA!

  26. Scotty_Sharp
    1:05 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    26) WBA (White Boy Academy) is a four-year program. In all seriousness, I think Wiltjer will have the type of season in 2012-13 to where he will be a projected late 1st round to early 2nd rounder by the time the draft rolls around. But he and his family are the type that seem to highly value an education and the college experience over money. In other words, his family is ok financially, so the pressure of going to the NBA from that standpoint just isn’t there. I think he’d have to be a lottery pick to leave UK, which will probably be a longshot after his sophomore season wraps.

  27. 502Cat
    1:09 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I love the Bacon bullet points!

  28. Coaches Agent
    11:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    If there is a global bacon shortage that should be great for the good old USA. We can retire the entire national debt by just going to our Congress, they have more pork than they know what to do with !