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The Four Best Things About The Miami Heat’s Championship

Not listed: Finally, a ring to cover up Birdman’s finger tattoos


Thursday’s Game 7, depending on your perspective was either a crowning achievement for the Miami Heat, or the summation of the Spurs’ inability to close the series in Game 6. Although some people look at Lebron only in comparison to the Jordan’s and Kobe’s of the world, his greatness is now undeniable to any objective viewer, and as a friend of John Calipari and the Kentucky program, his success can do nothing but help. For those of you who are still skeptical of the Heat’s title, here are a few good reasons (and 1 bad one) why you should be excited:


1. Gives even more credibility to “Super Teams” 

Although it would surprise no one if Lebron revealed himself to be the actual Captain America at this point, that’s not what I meant by “Super Team”. Pat Riley back in 2010 made the move to bring Lebron James and Chris Bosh in to Miami to team up with Dwyane Wade with the idea that a team could win multiple championships on the backs of 3 perennial All-Stars by surrounding them with low-cost specialized role players like Mike Miller or Shane Battier. After 3 Finals appearances and 2 titles since, the Heat have perfected the formula originated by Boston’s original ‘Big 3″ in their 2008 title run. NBA stars from around the league are now recruiting other stars to team up in places like Los Angeles, Brooklyn, and Houston in an attempt to keep up with the NBA’s newest fad.


The idea of a Miami Heat dynasty must be beautiful music to John Calipari’s ears, given that for the last 4 years he’s been implementing a similar style at Kentucky. With a record 6 McDonald’s All-Americans migrating to Lexington this summer, Kentucky’s blueprint for success will be much like the Heat’s, take a bevy of talent and mold a system around their individual abilities, rather than attempt to pidgeon hole any player to a position or skill set. It took Miami a little over 2 years to really hit top gear with their group, while Kentucky must accomplish the same task in 6 months, but the premise remains the same. Without a doubt, the Heat’s title should be one more thing John Calipari can point to when convincing the best high school players in America to sacrifice for the greater good.


2. Bill Russell’s “Old Man Yawn”


Just goes to show that Father Time is forever undefeated, and as Game 7 neared closer to midnight, 11-time NBA Champion Bill Russell let out a yawn of epic proportions live on ABC. The escaping air from Russell’s mouth then blocked 11 shots in the 4th quarter.


#3 The return of the Vuvuzela

(Image courtesy of USA Today)


“In Hialeah, thousands decked in team colors gathered throughout the night along 49th Street, forming an impromptu drum line armed with spoons, pots and pans. Toddlers cheered from their parents’ shoulders. Couples danced to salsa music blaring in a parking lot where a DJ had set up. Vuvuzelas were handed out to add to the noise


Yes, you read that correctly, the fans who formed the thousands-deep impromptu drunken marching band in South Beach Thursday night were GIVEN vuvuzelas to blare monotonously into the Miami night, including what appears to be a young Borat and his two friends attempting to lure females their musical abilities. For those of you who enjoy what sounds like 2 moose making love into a megaphone, the vuvuzela is for you.


4. Shane Battier’s Post-Club ‘Fourth Meal”


While Lebron, D-Wade, Drake, and Pat Riley were tearing up Club Story in Miami on Thursday night to the tune of 115 hand-delivered bottles of Dom Perignon and a special delivery steak from Miami steakhouse Prime 112 to Lebron James in VIP, Shane Battier did what any drunk, disoriented college student would do at 3am and made his way to Denny’s. Although he is a Dukie, the idea of an NBA player, fresh off hitting 6-7 threes in Game 7 of the NBA Finals passed up a FULLY COMPED $100,000 bar tab for a $5 Grand Slam should be worked into the next Denny’s commercial somehow.



Article written by Will Totten

Born in Indiana and raised in Louisville, I am the unlikeliest UK fan.

11 Comments for The Four Best Things About The Miami Heat’s Championship

  1. KentuckyJAM
    4:14 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    I get your point about the super teams, but it’s different when the core remains intact (and includes the best player in the game) and when the roster heavily turns over. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a huge proponent for what Calipari does – but I also don’t think the comparisons between Miami and UK are as warranted as people seem to think.

    Not a Heat fan by any metric (go Cavs!), but good post, Will.

  2. Paula Deen
    4:19 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    Hail, um jussa lil ole lady from All Banny Joe Juh.

    Shane, He is justa good inward; always orders the white Tang.

  3. Paula Deen
    4:53 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    Um ghown bet, yall, that that the Birdinward’s tat twos are just a whole bunch a fake marker-N’s.

  4. Paula Deen
    5:31 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    Oh my werd, y’all…..that bray uhth must stank tuh high hayvunh.
    What with all that flossin’ he’s done over the years.
    You can see the White Tang Stains.
    Yhall, that bray uhth must stank like my kitcheN.
    Own a Friday, whee-N Um servin’ Two Nuh.

  5. Kindred Spirits
    6:08 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    Miami Heat fans seem to have a eerily similar resemblance to Louisville fans…

  6. shorthop69
    7:41 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    Great blog, quality stuff right there!

  7. dodo
    7:44 pm June 22, 2013 Permalink

    enough, Paula Deen, we get it, real funny

  8. gaydukies
    1:31 am June 23, 2013 Permalink

    Looks like Battier is giving that guy a tug under the table…

  9. Ibescootch
    2:27 am June 23, 2013 Permalink

    Anyone else yawn when Russell did?

  10. Joe
    2:49 am June 23, 2013 Permalink

    As far as dukies go I actually like barrier. Pretty classy dude

  11. Common Sense
    12:10 pm June 23, 2013 Permalink

    Can’t believe a writer acknowledged something a puke player did. My goodness.