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The Breakdown: Kentucky vs. Maryland

Kentucky or Maryland?

It’s the decision that’s been weighing on the minds of Andrew and Aaron Harrison for months now.

Which is the better of the two schools?

 

Let’s break it down:

 

“Go Cats” vs. “Fear The Turtle”

I fear many things in life.

A turtle is not one of them.

Winner: “Go Cats” (Kentucky)

 

Nike vs. Under Armour

Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James vs. Michael Phelps, Cam Newton and Ray Lewis.

Do you want to be great?

Or do you want to get high, steal laptops and stab people?

Thought so.

Winner: Nike (Kentucky)

 

John Calipari vs. Mark Turgeon

Calipari is the biggest name in coaching. Hands down. He has been to two Final Fours, won one NCAA title and sent 15 players to the NBA in his three seasons at Kentucky. Those 15 guys will make a total of over $36 million next season alone.

**Googles “Mark Turgeon”**

Yeah, nothing.

Winner: John Calipari (Kentucky)

 

Marker’s Mark vs. Old Bay Seasoning

Old Bay is great with seafood, fried chicken, tater tots and potato chips.

Maker’s Mark is great with everything.

Winner: Maker’s Mark (Kentucky)

 

Lexington, Kentucky vs. College Park, Maryland

Forbes.com ranked Lexington, KY as the fifth-best college sports town in America.

College Park, MD plays second fiddle to College Park, GA, where rappers like Ludacris, Yung Joc and 2 Chainz grew up.

Winner: Lexington, KY (Kentucky)

 

Kentucky Derby vs. The Preakness

This one is easy.

Neither.

Winner: Keeneland (Kentucky)

 

Anthony Davis vs. Greivis Vasquez

Who?

Greisvis Vasquez. The guy with the faux-hawk from a couple years ago.

Winner: Anthony Davis (Kentucky)

 

Getting Murdered In Baltimore vs. Not Getting Murdered In Baltimore

Life is a precious thing.

Winner: Not Getting Murdered In Baltimore (Kentucky)

 

Ashley Judd vs. Tiffany Taylor

Hmmmmm…

Winner: PUSH

 

Kentucky Basketball vs. “Crabcakes and Football”

For the Harrison twins, the decision is simple.

Basketball.

Winner: Kentucky Basketball 

 

Come on down.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

80 Comments for The Breakdown: Kentucky vs. Maryland



  1. Rockfield, KY
    2:34 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Tiffany Taylor might win everything on that list, but does she go into the Maryland locker room? Ashley definitely goes in the UK locker room. Ask Tony Delk and Terrance Jones.



  2. NKY_UK_fan
    2:35 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #winning



  3. AZ
    2:38 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    THIS IS SOME FUNNY S&*^… and I live in MD (huge UK fan though)



  4. NYC_Cat
    2:39 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Wait… “Ashley definitely goes down in the UK locker room. Ask Tony Delk and Terrence Jones?” what am I missing?



  5. UK_Greg
    2:41 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    This is AWESOME!!!!



  6. freethrow
    2:41 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Real boobs vs implants (those things disgust me) make it Ashley all the way for me. Not to mention that Ashley, especially the younger Ashley, revs me up. Push? Not!! 🙂



  7. Mark Turgeon
    2:41 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Any news on the twins yet???!!!!



  8. Amanda
    2:43 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    This list is amazing!



  9. SexnNursinHomes
    2:43 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    6- They’re tits. If you are lucky to get them in your hands, you should feel happy regardless if they are filled with saline or peanut butter.



  10. Ryan
    2:44 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #3- How many maryland fans live in kentucky? enough said come on down!!!



  11. Not Mark Turgeon
    2:44 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Better yet… who wants to be called a “Terp”?



  12. I Say
    2:46 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    6 Quiet down Elton John



  13. Ryan
    2:46 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Maryland or Kentucky? Ask CJ Leslie… See what happens to Shabazz and Bennett after this year! Kentucky Effect come on down!!



  14. John Wall
    2:46 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Gotta love basketball season



  15. BPsycho
    2:47 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #9 YES! You’re like so wise, I’m not even kidding. lol

    “Push” Ashley outa the way to get to Tiffany.



  16. SexnNursinHomes
    2:48 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    15- Facebook “Like”



  17. AZ
    2:51 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    So seriously about living in MD.. I live in Bethesda. UMD is in College Park and it is a dangerous place to live (seriously). I would not want my kids there.

    FYI Drew, College Park is 45 mins away from Baltimore.. but crime is a problem in both places sadly. Aaron Snr is from east Baltimore, which you will recall from The Wire



  18. freethrow
    2:51 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #9 When with a woman with those things it feels like I am with a blow up doll. I gave those up at 13. 🙂 Now if they “were” filled with peanut butter I might make an exception. It would be kind of nice to be able to give a squeeze and have a snack anytime you wanted. Ha



  19. John Wall
    2:52 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    18….to far



  20. anthonydavisarmpit
    2:54 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    So Drew is this your way of leaking info your sources have given you without just blatantly saying it?



  21. Ernie Brown Jr.
    2:56 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Really Drew, you left me out!!?? That’s not turtle awesome. YA YA YA YA! Live Action!



  22. John Wall
    2:56 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    I also wouldnt mind getting high, stealing a few laptops, and stabbing some people..PUSH!



  23. the anti-cat
    2:57 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Tiffany taylor recruiting me vs coach cal? Tiffany any day and everyway.



  24. Robert Goulet
    2:58 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    This was a great read, if I do say so myself. Gouuulet.



  25. David
    2:59 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Well done, Drew. Well done.



  26. Alan Cutler
    2:59 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Completed my pre-press conference warn up on Twins lawn….ready for the chase when they appear. Get the scoop first On Channel 18, or Channel 912 in HD !



  27. Han
    2:59 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    4) Not sure about Delk (rumors they dated?), but she accidentally took Jones’ phone last year, I think.



  28. Gottdouche
    2:59 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    somebody say steal something????? wheres a credit card??



  29. NYC_Cat
    3:01 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    26. Twins announcing at their High School, no?



  30. Chad
    3:02 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    ********I think Coach Cal should say something publicly about people selling BBM tickets for $150-$200 each! Its just not right.

    The police need to do an undercover sting to catch these people selling tickets for crazy prices. Im so annoyed.

    And before you ask, I was not able to hang out in line because i WORK and don’t live in Lexington. Everyone selling the tickets act like sitting in line for a few days was HELL. Like it was work. Like they had to endure 105 degree weather with no water for days! Are you kidding me? They hung out with fellow UK fans and got to interact with UK players and Coach Cal… They were feed breakfast and pizza.

    Im sorry, I had to get that off my chest!



  31. btowncatfan
    3:04 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Ashley 15 years ago, hands down winner. Ashley today, hmmm, afraid not.



  32. NKY_UK_fan
    3:04 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Tiffany Taylor, bands a make her dance!



  33. Brad
    3:07 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Is there a feed on the Internet that I can watch the announcement on other than espn3.com? Thanks for the help BBN.



  34. goukcatts
    3:07 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Uh, Kobe did rape a woman. Just sayin…



  35. I Say
    3:08 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    30 am i not included in that group since i sold mine for $120?



  36. goukcatts
    3:09 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    UM is not in Baltimore.



  37. Alan Cutler
    3:09 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    29, If I am lucky maybe they didn’t go to school today. Will catch them when they are ready to leave for school.



  38. NYC_Cat
    3:09 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    34. And Kentucky is 86% white… Just sayin…



  39. I Say
    3:09 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #34 You honestly think that Kobe Bryant literally raped a woman? No way. and this is coming from a huge lebron fan



  40. Travis
    3:11 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Drew is a fat kentucky slob.



  41. NYC_Cat
    3:11 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink


  42. Chad
    3:13 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #35 Yeah your in there too!!! HAHA Im just pissed. Nothing personal.

    I just want to go to BBM and wish i would have got the FREE tickets but Ticket Master was not kind to me this year.



  43. I Say
    3:15 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    im not even clicking on that link because that website is the same as a TMZ.



  44. goukcatts
    3:15 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Maybe not rape, but something not right went down that night. Enough for me to think he is a piece of crap.



  45. I Say
    3:16 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    42 completely understand. I am a fulltime student who also works 25 hours a week. i have the luxury of living on campus so its easy to camp out



  46. uk
    3:17 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    That girl makes ashley look like crap at any age. you’re insane.



  47. Mitt Romney
    3:18 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    # 30, I understand your point and neither did I wait in line.
    However,I believe there are far too many serious issues that deserve the attention of police departments, rather than dedicating resources to try and catch someone selling a ticket above cost. Scalping should be legalized everywhere…at least that way those participating would be forced to buy a perimit and generate some revenue for the city.



  48. NYC_Cat
    3:18 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    43. It is a transcript – that means no opinion, just straight transcribed information. Do you know what transcribed means?



  49. NYC_Cat
    3:23 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Kobe had never even learned about pre-ejac – he was clueless – it’s in the transcript…



  50. goukcatts
    3:25 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    48. He never said it was opinion. I assume he is simply referring to the fact that the crap they publish is typically entertainment tabloid trash.



  51. goukcatts
    3:26 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    49. What point are you trying to make?



  52. NYC_Cat
    3:27 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    All signs point to another Cal victory. Time to relax. #43. – In transcript, Kobe told detectives, “There’s um, a little um, chair, like a cushion where you sit down, and she had her leg up, she bent herself over like this.” It’s quite riveting – better than that 50 shades of grey fake garbage women read.



  53. TopCat
    3:28 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #30…Chad, take vacation. Plan it out. It happens every year. If you want to go, vacation it and camp out or pay the price. Stop complaining. You can watch it on TV!!!



  54. ZackinBawlmer
    3:28 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Under Armour was created in Maryland and head quartered in Baltimore. UK is just another billboard for a global brand constantly ducking child labor complaints. Point Maryland.



  55. goukcatts
    3:28 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Well crap, you might have convinced me to actually read it:)



  56. ZackinBawlmer
    3:38 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    This list cracks me up. I love reading UK fans express their view about Lexington and Kentucky in general. It makes you realize that the majority of them don’t get out much. Mark Turgeon is replacing a legend in Gary Williams. John Calipari is replacing the upstanding Billy Gillespie. Enjoy your cheap championships before the banners come down.



  57. I Say
    3:40 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    50 yes



  58. Rambo
    3:43 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Split decision! Aaron will put on the Maryland Cap and Andrew will put on the Kentucky Cap! And the confusion will continue!



  59. Dale in Orlando
    3:47 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Old Bay is good stuff.



  60. Hal
    3:50 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    55 – you forgot tubby smith, rick pitino, joe b hall, adolph rupp. or, 4 former coaches with 7 titles (15 final 4s) to 1 former coach with 1 title (2 final 4s).
    good job. good effort.



  61. Art Vandalay
    3:56 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Crab cakes are awesome.



  62. 27
    3:56 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    What’s wrong with getting high?



  63. Ole Roy williams
    3:59 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    56, i am afraid you are correct. No question those banners will come down eventually because they will need to move them closer together to make room for those daggum new ones that will need to be hung. Between that daggum Randle kid, that daggum Hansbrough woman and that daggum Cal…I don’t have a daggum chance.



  64. Freethrow
    4:02 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    #56 Your post screams of both ENVY and WORRY. See your therapist, very soon. 🙂



  65. Big Blue B-Rad
    4:02 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    56 at least we were there to enjoy a banner. 10 years must be a long time for the terps. If it makes you feel better to keep wishing our banner comes down, more power to you.



  66. Billy G's Used Paul Miller Ford
    4:03 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Geeting detailed tomorrow. Got to be spic and span to transport Twins to BBM.

    Shooooo! Beer farts linger in seat covers!



  67. Sean
    4:04 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    @55 Gary Williams is a legend???? That’s how you know you’re small time.



  68. Head Bussa
    4:04 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Unless Ashley all of the sudden has breasts like Ms. Taylor I think I’m going to have to say Tiffany wins!



  69. Sean
    4:05 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    woops. I meant 56 clearly.



  70. Katmancsm
    4:06 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Didn’t Len Bias go to MD? Supposed to have been the best of the best, drafted by the Celtics and died from an overdose before playing 1 game in the NBA.



  71. Slim Charles
    4:08 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    The Wire versus Justified.

    Advantage: Maryland.



  72. barn
    4:15 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    i didn’t know old bay was good with potato chips. you just sprinkle it on?



  73. Rotney
    4:16 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Agree with you Drew except the Keeneland better than Derby. BS, keeneland great but not that level.



  74. Ashley Judd
    4:17 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    Not impressed.



  75. barn
    4:22 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    i pray they don’t want to be turtlemen. live action, baby



  76. dude
    4:22 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    ummm, Tiffany def wins that battle. But pretty sure shes not from MD



  77. ThingsUKFansSay
    4:41 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    60. Glad to see you only acknowledge Pitino’s accomplishments when it works in you’re favor every other time all you can say about the guy is a 15 second or less joke. And if Tubby was such a legend why was he let go????



  78. ZackinBawlmer
    5:05 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    @63 Hansbrough? Who said anything about Hansbrough??? Or is this your confusing attempt to be funny as a faux Roy Williams, crossed with Steve Spurrier that is a UK fan.



  79. ZackinBawlmer
    5:09 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    @67 yeah Gary Williams is a legend. Comes in to a program rocked by a scandal (Bias overdose), rebuilds the program with class, dominates the ACC for years and wins a national title after appearing in the title game in back to back years. The funny thing is the story I just recalled is similar to the Rick Pitino cleans up after Eddie Sutton story. Or are you hicks just really not into the past.



  80. ZackinBawlmer
    5:12 pm October 4, 2012 Permalink

    @60 @77 Does he make Pitino having sex on a restaurant table jokes uncontrollably?