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The Best #JimmyDykesPickupLines

jimmydykes
“Hey good-lookin’…”

So what do you do when you’re at work watching the Georgia/Auburn game on ESPN3 and can’t handle the boring basketball and endless references to the tornado that hit the Georgia Dome two years ago?

Make fun of Jimmy Dykes on Twitter, of course!

After listening to Jimmy ramble as only Jimmy can, I started to wonder, “What would it be like to go out on the town with Jimmy Dykes?” This spawned a #JimmyDykesPickupLines Twitter hashtag faster than a Porcini’s quickie.

Here are some of my favorite #JimmyDykesPickupLines:

– You know if you were on my jet, I’d definitely put you in 1st class… (@kevod23)
– I don’t use words like Penetrate and Find the seam for nothing… (@kevod23)
– “Are you gonna keep guarding your yard or are you gonna let me drive this nail” (@NotJimmyDykes)
– I really admire your big, soft hands. (@tytythompsonKSR)
– If you go out with me, there’s a 90% chance you’ll get drunk. (@tytythompsonKSR)
[shortly after] – That should be “if you go out with me there is a 90% you are already drunk” (@NotJimmyDykes)
– “Can I take you to the hip new salon, Violent Cuts?” (@ajlageman)
– The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word. (@JIMMIEUKFAN)
– Did I tell you I have a plane? (@Ukcyclone)
– If you’re not scoring on one end, you gotta make it a whole lot harder on the other. (actually Jimmy Dykes, during the South Carolina/Ole Miss game)
– Wanna come home with me and practice some Cautious Clothes Outs? (@mikethompsonBL)

Okay, your turn! Jimmy Dykes walks into a bar…GO!

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

76 Comments for The Best #JimmyDykesPickupLines



  1. Blueburg
    9:05 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    My bad I thought Jimmy was a Dyke.



  2. Joe
    9:05 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    “This is Brad Nessler, he likes to watch”



  3. dhighdrated
    9:09 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    “You’ve got a really nice fair complexion. I bet you’re a gym rat with a high basketball IQ”



  4. Bill
    9:10 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Would you rather be hammered or nailed?



  5. Drew Franklin's least favorite Dykes
    9:12 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    1) Nah, you’re thinking of Doris Burke.



  6. tubby
    9:18 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I sure did fool those people in Minnesota!



  7. Jughead
    9:29 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I bet you sure are a great collector of loose balLs! Let’s violent cut outta here.



  8. Emerson Biggins
    9:30 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    You know I used to coach at UK?



  9. Jughead
    9:31 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I bet you sure are a great collector of loose balls! Let’s violent cut outta here back to my place.



  10. Perfect Patterson
    9:33 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    The craziest part about the SEC tournament is that there are more UK fans at every game, even when UK is not playing…#represent



  11. Googlenerd
    9:39 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    BOOM! Yer coming home with me!



  12. AKA cold buckets
    9:39 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Well I already had some that I thought were better but didn’t make it of course. LOL. Here I go with #JimmyDykesPickupLines….

    “What can four “good passes” get me?”
    “I want you more than Liggins wants Chris Warren.”
    “You look like a real ‘ball-hawk'”.
    “I want to either score early, or score late.”
    “How’d you like to take a ride on Jimmy’s Jet?”
    “How bad do you want it? How bad do you need it?”

    hahah that’s all I got.



  13. JD
    9:45 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Excuse me, do you mind if I attack the gap?



  14. AlexLegionsMom
    9:47 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    “Steven Pearl scores more then me.”



  15. Low Country Cat Fan
    9:50 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    So, do you want to be one of the last four in or the first four out?



  16. barn
    9:51 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    isn’t that the biggest nail you ever saw?



  17. Gocats
    9:52 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I do a pretty nasty rim run.



  18. Blue in the Vein
    9:53 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Come March, Your backside will be the hardest thing to cover, but I’d like to try!



  19. Blueburg
    9:56 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    5 yeah her voice is much deeper.



  20. D-Will
    9:56 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Question: Have you ever seen Joe Dean Jr. and Greg Stumbo in the same room? …think about it.



  21. univky
    9:57 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    After getting out of his plane, makes a violent cut and trips on a nail, only to be saved by falling on his soft hands.



  22. coach P
    10:00 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    his team has “spurtability”



  23. bill
    10:02 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I’d like to get to the middle third of your floor!



  24. bigbluegdud
    10:05 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Take another look. The foul line isn’t the only thing extended.



  25. @notjimmydykes
    10:09 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I have made KSR. I think that puts me ahead of the real jimmy dykes



  26. Jdykes
    10:13 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Hey babe you got a mirror . Because I can see myself nailing you tonight. Ps I’m kid of a big deal



  27. Jrod
    10:19 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Let me show you how they nail it out in the middle of Allen Fieldhouse!



  28. blitzedanddazed
    10:20 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes walks in a bar and asks “has anyone seen my FedEx package”?
    Jimmy Dykes walks in a bar and says “dams Eddie did you or your son take my necklace?



  29. Jrod
    10:22 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Hey baby! You want to break BYU’s Honor Code?



  30. Sean
    10:24 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I’m a guy with a high IQ, a big motor, and I stop at nothing to get to the nail. I just strength it in. How about you and me jump in 1st class and I show you how I go left and lefter…



  31. wildbuck
    10:27 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    can i buy you an appetizer? oh wait, which ex uk coach are we talking about?



  32. MJmorelandKy
    10:30 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Did you have to give me such a violent back door cut, with that loven?



  33. KYWineman
    10:32 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Hey Baby, a comeback with me means we’ll stop and score two times.



  34. KYWineman
    10:32 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I play with hot hands.



  35. KYWineman
    10:34 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Just relax babe, I have hot hands.



  36. MJmorelandKy
    10:42 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    You must work out, thats wild cause I was just showing my buddy John Calipari where the gym was..



  37. The Nail
    10:43 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Drive to me



  38. MJmorelandKy
    10:46 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Do you know mcdonalds slogan?
    Don’t worry you will later!



  39. MJmorelandKy
    10:47 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Do you know mcdonalds slogan?
    Don’t worry you will later!



  40. MJmorelandKy
    10:48 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I’m lovin it



  41. Question!
    10:51 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Cincinnati!!!

    Does Cincy hotel cable show the SEC digital network?



  42. bigcat76
    10:58 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    These are the last 4 in.



  43. bigcat76
    11:00 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I need to go to the bench and get a blow.



  44. Oliver Simmons
    11:11 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    From Jimmy’s online chat log with screen name Cheerleader1999, read aloud by Chris Hanson: “Since it’s your first time, there may be a violent cut.”



  45. Oliver Simmons
    11:12 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Use those soft hands and I’ll show you the hardwood.



  46. Sean
    11:22 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    It sounds like Steve Lavin would like to be able to pull ladies like Jimmy. I guess Jimmy’s wife is a sucker for a rim-running, violent cut.

    http://www.aolnews.com/2008/04/04/espns-steve-lavin-brad-nessler-drool-over-jimmy-dykes-wife/



  47. Blasphemy
    11:36 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    “To get really good penetration, you have to slide across the nail in the middle of the court”



  48. Mrs. Tingle
    11:36 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    22 – isnt’ that a Clark Kellog pick up line?



  49. BlueMist
    11:37 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Tools on ESPN said the Cards will likely get a 2 seed if the win the BET. Sounds like crazy talk to me.



  50. YessirJimmy
    11:52 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    This is an actual Jimmy Dykes quote from a game I watched earlier this year:

    “When in doubt, spread em out!”



  51. Catinhat
    12:00 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    49) If they beat ND and Syracuse, it is possible. Hope they lose tomorrow.



  52. Robukpt
    12:02 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    @17: Wow! Literally lol’d



  53. rupp's grunt
    12:16 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes walks into a bar, and is subsequently hospitalized with a concussion and multiple contusions.

    Ba-da-BAM!

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitresses.



  54. rupp's grunt
    12:20 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes pickup line:
    “How’d you like to try to beat me off the bounce?”



  55. Eloy Vargina
    1:38 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Before the Big Dance do you want me to stick my first four in, or is it more comfortable when Lunardi does it



  56. Blue in the Vein
    2:14 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Bitch, Guard your line!



  57. Voice of Reason
    3:03 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes knows the game. Haters gonna hate.



  58. Bg Cat
    4:04 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Wanna Join The Mile High Club ? Ill Move You Up To 1st Class On My Jet If You Say Yes.



  59. Bg Cat
    4:08 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Wanna Join The Mile High Club ? Ill Move You Up 2 1st Class On My Jet .



  60. Bg Cat
    4:14 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    The Violent Cuts Of Your Dress Are Making My Nail Show Through My Khakis . See ?



  61. test
    6:25 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    test



  62. bigdinky
    6:32 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    I’m Jimmy—-“Dykes!!”



  63. NO SKY CAM
    7:55 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes walks into a bar and…..pulls out his dry erase basketball court clipboard and shows the hot blonde at the end of the bar how he is going to “pick and pop” the best way to get to the bartender to buy her a drink



  64. barn
    8:27 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    love jimmy dykes=jimmy dykes loves UK. he’s a better announcer than most



  65. Lou eaton
    8:47 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Trust me, I also am wearing “blue” underwear.



  66. dcsports22
    8:49 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Hands down #2 and #29 in a dead heat for 1st….



  67. weasel named fee.
    9:05 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    wanna see my “gameface?”



  68. UK_Football_Fan
    9:07 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    “Mind if I dip, rip attack the hip?”



  69. Megan
    9:22 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    “I am NOT going to pay a lot for that muffler!”



  70. The Ghost of Antoine Walker
    10:04 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    “wanna see me take it hard to the hole?”



  71. Mike
    10:16 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Grow Up!
    Why make fun of a person that treats UK very fairly. Do you want to turn him into another Packer,Knight or Forde?



  72. kdsmith
    10:19 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    #13 won this hands down. Genious, pure genious…



  73. The Nail
    10:24 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes walks in a bar spots a scary lookin dry skinned blonde drinkin a martini and says “I bet my nails bigger than Ricks! If it isnt I know my jet is and in first class I always put the nail in the coffin!”



  74. The Ghost of Antoine Walker
    10:47 am March 11, 2011 Permalink

    “I can take it hard to the hole”



  75. jimmies_ghost
    1:57 pm March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Yeah baby just look in brads eyes while I drive the nail and guard your yard….hey brad tell her how I used to coach at Kentucky.



  76. HugeFan
    2:22 pm March 11, 2011 Permalink

    Looking for some “flex action”. Can you put your ankles behind your ears?