Growing up, I watched a lot of television. One of my favorite shows was of course, “Green Acres,” which is known for its theme song (“New York is where I’d rather stay”), the talking pig and Mr. Haney. I liked all of those traits (Mr. Kimball was vastly underrated), but also liked hearing Eva Gabor’s Hungarian/New York accent when she called her husband “AWLIVAH!”. In Middlesboro we had very few New Yorkers and even fewer Hungarians, so the accent always gave me delight.
I only say this as it reminded me of how excited I was back in the day when one AWLivah Simmons came to Kentucky. I am not sure what was my favorite part of the Simmons era…..his overhyped arrival by Grandmaster Pitino…..his absurdly red hair and pale body…..or when his absurdly red hair and pale body combined for the best shoulder hair this side of Dante Calabria. Whatever the basis for my happiness, I was happy to learn (when scouring through the always wonderful Southwest Orlando Bulletin) that Simmons is now a new high school coach in Florida. This is exciting news for all and has made my prediction of many years come true……Oliver Simmons will take your children to the promised land. AWLIVAH!!!!!