After last night’s crushing defeat at the hands of South Carolina, many of us are still puzzled as to how the Cats could lose to such a seemingly overmatched club. Some people blame the officials. Some people blame President Obama. Some people blame Devan Downey, who spent the second half making shots like he was on fire in NBA Jam. Some people blame the onslaught of techno music at every timeout. Some people have even taken to blaming our players after the loss, and while most can agree that those people need to be put in a padded room and have their meals handed to them under the door, the question still remains unanswered.
Well, Cat fans, I think if we all take a step back and examine the situation carefully, we can agree on who should be the focus of our anxiety. And who might it be? Well of course, it’s Seth Davis. And why Seth Davis? Part of it is because I saw the video of him actually playing basketball and he can barely dribble. But mostly it’s because a little over a month ago the perpetual Kentucky hater put his personal jinx on the Cats, predicting that we would lose our first game to the Gamecocks and sealing our fate long before the ball ever bounced in Columbia. Nothing can overcome the curse of a guy who may or may not be qualified for his position predicting your first loss. Nothing.
So we can all relax a little bit knowing now that it is indeed Davis who caused our first stumble and who (yet again) deserves our disdain. Instead of senselessly bickering, let’s unite in farting in the general direction of Seth Davis, soothsayer of doom and hater of all things Blue, except Duke blue, which makes him suck even more.