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Stephon Marbury Verbally Commits to UK

Either in the historic Madison Square Garden or the hallowed halls of Rupp Arena, Stephon Marbury just wants to play.

The 12-year professional basketball player and two-time NBA All-Star, shocked reporters by saying he has verbally committed to the University of Kentucky on Monday and plans to sign his national letter of intent on April 15th.

“I need to… multitask, man,” Marbury told reporters outside of the Garden before Monday’s Knicks game against Philidelphia. “Got to get my paper so I can run my [Starbury shoe] business. I’m a max player and a max student. Don’t get mad at me, because I’m telling you what’s real. One plus one is two, all day long, and it’s never gonna change. And that’s factorial.”

His commitment comes after reports from the media that his alleged verbal commitment with the Boston Celtics was denied by Celtics staff. After being informed of the Celtics’ denial of the commitment, Marbury said to reporters, “They had to said that. I don’t blame them. KG [Celtics forward Kevin Garnett] and I got along. We played basketball together, we didn’t go home and sleep in the same bed with each other. We played basketball.”

When asked how he would be eligible under NCAA rules to play amateur basketball, he said, “I don’t need no scholarship. I got lawyers, good lawyers, Isiah’s [Thomas, former GM and Coach of the Knicks] lawyers.” Under current NCAA eligibility rules, Marbury would be unable to participate in an official capacity with the Wildcats basketball team. Calls to the NCAA eligibility offices were not returned by press time.

One unidentified member of Marbury’s entourage kept repeating the phrases, “Yes sir!” and “Gonna buy us a racehorse like Hammer!”

Upon being asked by a Fake Press reporter why he chose the University of Kentucky over Georgia Tech, Marbury replied, “Business. Great business school. I can go at night, on the weekends, its great. Plus, they’ve got a player in that Pat[rick Patterson, sophomore forward]. They’ve got a beast we can throw the ball down to. I ain’t got to tell you but you already know, we got Pat, we got that Meekrat kid [Jodie Meeks, UK junior guard]. We got help now.” Marbury declined further comment as he and his entourage entered the Garden.

Current Knicks players, coaches and spokespersons for the Knicks declined comment on Marbury’s statements after the game against Philadelphia. When contacted by an Fake Press reporter by phone, University of Kentucky Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart said “What? Billy did what?” and then declined further comment. University of Kentucky basketball coach Billy Gillispie could not be reached for comment.

Copyright (c) 2009 by the Fake Press. Duplication or republication is prohibited by law.

Article written by The Fake Gimel Martinez

I may be fake, but my passion for UK sports is real. Probably put all my best work at Aseaofblue.com and firebilly.com, so go there when I start coasting here.