Hello, friends. I hope you’re well. You look good. Did you have a great time at the pool this weeked? I did. Thanks for coming out to meet me there. I’m sorry I ruined your boombox with that cannonball. But you have to admit it was a great cannonball. You have to give me that, at least. You have to.
Friends, the summer movie season is upon us — which means superheroes, explosions, dirty comedies, fierce comedies and scary monsters. If you spend any time at all on the internet, you know that spoilers for any new film abound (Clark Kent is really Superman, Jamie Foxx has been elected President of the United States), and if you’re not careful this type of information can really ruin things for you. Seeing as Kentucky Sports Radio is no exception to the rule of trying to grab your eyeballs and attention, and realizing that a great many things in the sports world are still yet to know for so many, I thought it might be good to “keep up with the Joneses” (Matt and his family) today with a little piece we’ll affectionately call Spoiler Alert. It’s sure to ruin your day and you’re sure to hate it. Below you’ll find gratuitous spoilers to things you perhaps haven’t seen yet, so peruse at your own risk. You’ve been warned.
Game 7 of the NBA Finals: A competitive game going into the fourth quarter, the Miami Heat shooting goes cold, allowing the San Antonio Spurs to take a late-game lead and hang on to win the 2013 Championship.
Bruins/Blackhawks Stanley Cup Final, Game 5: Bruin Rich Peverley scores with two minutes left in regulation play and Chicago is unable to answer, bringing Boston up on the series 3-2.
Game 7, the 1955 World Series: Johnny Podres’ shutout keeps the Yankees score at zero whilefirst baseman Gil Hodges brings in two runs, an RBI and a sac fly, to win the game 2-0 and clench the title.
X Games Munich, June 27-30: France’s Bastien Salabanzi takes Street League Skateboarding while Canada’s Chantelle Bykerk dominates Women’s Moto X Enduro. Brought to you by Mountain Dew Kickstart.
Richie Farmer’s Trial: In a stunning display of courtroom argument, lovably cantankerous lawyer Ben Matlock proves irrefutably that the blame for Famrer’s shortcomings should be placed squarely on the shoulders of Junior Braddy.
University of Kentucky Wildcats Men’s Basketball, 2013-14: Tom Crean’s Indiana Hoosiers defeat the Wildcats 76-72 in the NCAA Championship Finals on April 7, 2014 in Texas.
Tom Crean: It’s revealed during a surprise twist that Crean — whose Hooeiers were eliminated in a regional semi-final by Boise State — re-imagined the 2014 NCAA Championship Finals in his head with Indiana victorious.
Mark Stoops’ Football Recruiting for the University of Kentucky Wildcat in 2013: Yahtzee (figurative).
Yahtzee (actual): The player with the most points eventually wins.
Joker Phillips: Fights Batman on top of a half-built skyscraper and then gets captured by a SWAT team.
Bruce Pearl: Coaxed out of reclusion, coaches a rag-tag group of hilarious misfits to win the YMCA league championship on a trick play in the final seconds and is hoisted onto their shoulders during a freeze-frame as music plays and his ex-wife falls in love with him again.
Rick Pitino: Testifies against Paulie Cicero and enters the witness protection program.
Orlando Antigua: Is Tyler Durden.
Roy Williams: Frozen in carbonite by Jabba the Hutt.
Billy Gillispie: Was dead the whole time.