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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.




Hello, friends. I hope you’re well. You look good. Did you have a great time at the pool this weeked? I did. Thanks for coming out to meet me there. I’m sorry I ruined your boombox with that cannonball. But you have to admit it was a great cannonball. You have to give me that, at least. You have to.


Friends, the summer movie season is upon us — which means superheroes, explosions, dirty comedies, fierce comedies and scary monsters. If you spend any time at all on the internet, you know that spoilers for any new film abound (Clark Kent is really Superman, Jamie Foxx has been elected President of the United States), and if you’re not careful this type of information can really ruin things for you. Seeing as Kentucky Sports Radio is no exception to the rule of trying to grab your eyeballs and attention, and realizing that a great many things in the sports world are still yet to know for so many, I thought it might be good to “keep up with the Joneses” (Matt and his family) today with a little piece we’ll affectionately call Spoiler Alert. It’s sure to ruin your day and you’re sure to hate it. Below you’ll find gratuitous spoilers to things you perhaps haven’t seen yet, so peruse at your own risk. You’ve been warned.




Game 7 of the NBA Finals: A competitive game going into the fourth quarter, the Miami Heat shooting goes cold, allowing the San Antonio Spurs to take a late-game lead and hang on to win the 2013 Championship.


Bruins/Blackhawks Stanley Cup Final, Game 5: Bruin Rich Peverley scores with two minutes left in regulation play and Chicago is unable to answer, bringing Boston up on the series 3-2.


Game 7, the 1955 World Series: Johnny Podres’ shutout keeps the Yankees score at zero whilefirst baseman Gil Hodges brings in two runs, an RBI and a sac fly, to win the game 2-0 and clench the title.


X Games Munich, June 27-30: France’s Bastien Salabanzi takes Street League Skateboarding while Canada’s Chantelle Bykerk dominates Women’s Moto X Enduro. Brought to you by Mountain Dew Kickstart.


Richie Farmer’s Trial: In a stunning display of courtroom argument, lovably cantankerous lawyer Ben Matlock proves irrefutably that the blame for Famrer’s shortcomings should be placed squarely on the shoulders of Junior Braddy.


University of Kentucky Wildcats Men’s Basketball, 2013-14: Tom Crean’s Indiana Hoosiers defeat the Wildcats 76-72 in the NCAA Championship Finals on April 7, 2014 in Texas.


Tom Crean: It’s revealed during a surprise twist that Crean — whose Hooeiers were eliminated in a regional semi-final by Boise State —  re-imagined the 2014 NCAA Championship Finals in his head with Indiana victorious.


Mark Stoops’ Football Recruiting for the University of Kentucky Wildcat in 2013: Yahtzee (figurative).


Yahtzee (actual): The player with the most points eventually wins.


Joker Phillips: Fights Batman on top of a half-built skyscraper and then gets captured by a SWAT team.


Bruce Pearl: Coaxed out of reclusion, coaches a rag-tag group of hilarious misfits to win the YMCA league championship on a trick play in the final seconds and is hoisted onto their shoulders during a freeze-frame as music plays and his ex-wife falls in love with him again.


Rick Pitino: Testifies against Paulie Cicero and enters the witness protection program.


Orlando Antigua: Is Tyler Durden.


Roy Williams: Frozen in carbonite by Jabba the Hutt.


Billy Gillispie: Was dead the whole time.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

23 Comments for SPOILER ALERT

  1. Smiley Pete
    1:11 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink


  2. JC
    1:17 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    I waited on Pitino and Paulie in Lexington years ago. They love fried chicken, Moet Whitestar and 42 year old women with low self-esteem. This was hilarious.

  3. Biglaw Dawgin'
    1:24 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    As a Heat fan, I’m glad it was satirical.

  4. grits n' gravy
    1:39 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Come on people, get over yourselves it’s the offseason lighten up and get a sense of humor!

  5. Blackhawks
    1:54 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Blackhawks put it all together to take a 3 game to 2 lead. Crawford finally finds his glove side and shuts down Boston. Kane actually goes into the corner and gets the puck. Toews, best captain in pro sports gets the hat trick.

  6. mike
    1:56 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    whatever happened to jordan majors?

  7. Everybody
    1:58 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    This is TERRIBLE!!!!!!

  8. Maxwell
    1:59 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Article on about Kentucky football and how good Stoops is doing!!!!!!!!!!

  9. What?
    2:07 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    What is up with deleting all of the comments? If you don’t want negative comments then don’t post “crap” post’s. Pretty simple really.

  10. Ky joe
    2:08 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    What 9 said

  11. BanThisClown
    2:12 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Garbage. Garbage. Garbage

  12. WTH?
    2:14 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    If you want to exercise your freedom of speech by publishing low quality crap like this, then stop deleting the respectful trolls telling you that you wasted our time.

  13. What?
    2:15 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    KSR’s tagline should be, “so easy, a caveman can do it”.

  14. YouPeopleSuck
    2:18 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    You people need to get a sense of humor. Seriously

  15. What?
    2:21 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    14, name one, just one thing at all funny about this? It’s okay, I’ll wait.

  16. GGinKY
    2:23 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    There is absolutely nothing going on right now, it’s the middle of june and this one-off post is at the top of the page for one hour. It’s hardly the end of the world.

  17. What?
    2:23 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    16, sometimes, less is more.

  18. Randy Tennessee
    2:58 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Here’s a spoiler, Stoops can’t beat the Knights of Knoxville!

  19. John wall
    3:52 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    Your a coward

  20. Scott
    4:53 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    This douche has a writing job?

  21. grammar police
    4:54 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    I bet even the real John Wall knows when to use ‘you’re’ and when to use ‘your’.

  22. Slow Day
    4:54 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    You need a hobby. Something, anything, other than this. Consider a drug habit. You are better at something else. You have to be.

  23. Hilarious
    6:29 pm June 20, 2013 Permalink

    It cracks me up to see how crazy some of you react to a little post that no one even asked you to read. Too much time on some hands I guess.