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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Someone Can’t Keep It In Their Pants

This is NOT an artist’s rendering.

This is NOT an artist's rendering.

This is NOT an artist’s rendering.

 

Last year Kentucky’s campus was at ‘Threat Level Midnight’ when William T. Young Library was infiltrated by a foot-stabbing fanatic. Helpless victim’s feet were protruded with a variety of strange objects all over the library, but the offender seemed omniscient, always a step ahead of campus officials. The case is cold and remains a mystery to this day. After a semester seemingly filled with peace, another malicious miscreant has taken the Foot-Stabber’s place.

 

The report alerting campus from the UK Police department describes the instance:

At approximately 7:40 p.m. on Tuesday, April 23, 2013 UK Police received a report of an incident involving an indecent exposure in the Columbia Avenue parking lot behind the W.T. Young Library.  UK Police received three similar reports earlier this month; the first on April 5, 2013, another on April 7, 2013, and the third on April 19, 2013.  Each of these incidents involves what is believed to be the same suspect.

 

Not one, not twice, not even three times a lady, but 4 TIMES the flasher has flooded the streets with his foolishness. His tactics are deceptive, taking advantage of helpful innocents by asking for directions from his car before displaying his downstairs. The suspect is described by UK Police as, “a possible Middle Eastern male with dark short curly/wavy hair, 5’7″ with a round shaped face and a full stomach, between 25-30 years of age.” People in the area should be careful around Hondas; the offender is reported to be driving either a 4-door silver Civic, or a black two-door Accord.

 

KSR’s hard-hitting journalism will extend its reach to the greatest of lengths to bring the perpetrator to justice, however we can only do so much. If you have information that would help keep our campus safe, call UK Police at 257-UKPD.

Article written by Nick Roush

"Look upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole." @RoushKSR

28 Comments for Someone Can’t Keep It In Their Pants



  1. Nutter Butter
    5:04 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Maybe you should look up the meaning of protruded.



  2. Keep getting deleted
    5:04 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Nick did u use the line great length in an article about a guy showing off his downstairs? Really?



  3. Joe
    5:05 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    This is pretty frightening, because this is how serial rapists and serial killers get started. They begin by flashing or peeping into peoples’ houses. They then move on to grabbing or touching, or breaking into peoples’ houses to steal underwear or something. Before you know it, THAT isn’t enough for them, and it descends from there.

    I certainly hope they catch this person soon.



  4. Bicycle Seat Sniffer
    5:08 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    This guy has been caught. He’s in a prison hospital outside of Boston…



  5. KEVIN BURTON
    5:14 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Joe is the culprit! seems to know a lot about flashings and sniffing panties.



  6. Billy Clyde
    5:23 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Does anyone else find it ironic that the description of the man begins with short, dark, curly hair? LOL



  7. Karen
    5:27 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    These women should be so lucky, they could have seen Rick with his shirt off!



  8. Axe Cop
    5:41 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Full stomach? How do they know when he last ate?



  9. It's happened more than this month
    5:43 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    My girlfriend got flashed by this same guy last summer. This guy has been doing this to girls for almost a year now. Somebody needs to give him an ass beating.



  10. uk sux
    5:45 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    You try to paint UofL in a bad light? At least we aren’t a bunch of freak foot stabbers and weirdo flashers



  11. Roland
    6:01 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    {Take # two due to moderation}
    See what happens when the delta gamma’s are “So f’n boring!”
    I paraphrase.
    Sigma Nu’s alumni go all perverted cause in the words of Billy Idol, they were : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU



  12. Tularosa Tom
    6:05 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Billy Clyde is recruiting again.



  13. ZombieLibrarian
    6:15 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    I had no idea Drew drove a Honda.



  14. Pervy McPerverson
    6:18 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    They seemed to enjoy it at the time. Just goes to show you can’t trust women. Now where did I put my coat…



  15. Roland
    6:25 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    The Real Question is this an act of self humiliation or an act of showing off?



  16. Rick Pitino
    6:27 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    I’m sorry this new ink has drove me to this



  17. Matt Jones
    6:30 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    I’ve been trying to show my junk off to college girls for years. Maybe this wacko has discovered something here.



  18. CatsFan12
    6:32 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Peyton Siva’s Dad. Short, round, darker complexity, and doesn’t like to wear a lot of clothes.



  19. Roland
    6:37 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Breaking News: Former Congressman Weiner seen on UK campus.
    j/k



  20. Mole
    6:48 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Way to give this story more “exposure” there, Dukeboys.



  21. Catlogic15
    9:04 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    A silver or black car? Great witnesses.



  22. OverThePylon
    9:18 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Same thing happened at Maryland a few years back.



  23. UK56always
    9:30 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    I heard he was at the ” NUTTER ” Fieldhouse. LOL



  24. Barb Dwyer
    9:35 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Mindless…Shtupid shtuff.



  25. uk69
    10:15 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    He does the same thing every freakin time!!!



  26. Will
    11:31 pm April 26, 2013 Permalink

    Wanted: Man with Round Face, Full Stomach…. No pants



  27. Bulldawg
    12:56 am April 27, 2013 Permalink

    did he have on shoulder pads??



  28. theWilkman
    11:04 am April 27, 2013 Permalink

    Short, dark and curly. Really got a good look at the old pubes I guess