Sometimes you can’t help but bite your lip, even when you’re sandwiched between two rivals
We’ve all done it in some form or fashion.
You wake up with a pounding headache wrapped up in a strange blanket. You hear disturbing snoring and feel the warmth of a body next to you. Before rolling over, you look up on the wall and your eyes about pop out of your head. Oh god. No…no, it can’t be!
Daryl Griffith’s stare causes you to start sweating and wondering how this could possibly have happened. She/he seemed so…normal last night. Or so you think. Everything is a bit fuzzy. You slip the blanket off and tip-toe towards the door without saying a word.
You found love in a hopeless place – in the middle of a rivalry. It happens to the best of us, don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon. Once you walk out that door, you’re dealings with a bitter opponent will be over.
But maybe only for the time being. Perchance this fine he/she gives you a ring and you go on a second date, and a third, fourt, etc. Who knows where it will lead? Romance is a fickle thing, just like sports fandom. In this Commonwealth, it’s easy to get the two intertwined. For UK and UofL fans, becoming romantically involved with the enemy is commonplace and occurs in several different forms. Some may absolutely refuse to do it, others may embrace each other as polar opposites. Let’s take a look at a few examples:
I. The One Night Stand — The usual combination of a bar, mutual friends, and loud music can lead to a hook-up with a Cards fan. Maybe you didn’t realize his/her affiliation or you just didn’t care, but this is one experience where you are allowed to say “it just kind of happened’. Maybe Dr. Dunkenstein scared you off, or possibly it was that fact that she had Pervis Ellison, Dejaun Wheat, and Reese Gaines as the first three contacts in his/her speed dial. But there’s always the chance you come back for a second helping.
II. The Courting — So you called him/her. Can’t say I blame you. You had a good time. It’s not like you’re going to go watch a basketball game with this person on the next date, right? However, if it progresses further, you’re going to find you die-hard fanhood to be an obstacle. As a UK fan, you’ve got to overcome the stereotypes that cause rival fans to dislike you from the get go. Then you’ve got to make sure he/she isn’t an a**hole rival fan. By the time football season rolls back around, maybe you two are getting pretty serious and want to attend the UK vs. UofL game together. At the tailgate, you wear blue and your significant other wears red. All your mutual friends give you shit for it, but you smirk at each other and hug. On the inside, however, you may be cringing…
III. The Marriage — He/she sucked you in, damnit. After years of courtship, one of you popped the question. Your wedding was both red and blue themed. The Card fan friends sat on one side of the aisle, and the ‘good guys’ sat on the other side. Like mixing together Bud Light and Miller Lite, the crowd was a ‘Kentucky Champagne‘ of sorts. The reception lasted until 4am, at which point the police arrived to extinguish the burning coach. A couple weeks after the honeymoon, she comes home with a bag full of “House Divided” crap. She flashes the House Divided license plate at you and asks if you can screw it on ASAP. At this point, you proceed to throw up in your mouth.
IV. The Divorce — Like Luke Wilson in Old School, you arrive home early from work, just in time to walk in on a terrible sight – your partner and several other UofL fans are rewatching the 1992 UK vs. Duke game wearing red and black. You open the door to see Laettner sink the bucket and the supposed ‘love of your life’ jump up from her seat to cheer. You lock eyes with him/her and the whole world comes crashing down. You start to question that whole ‘opposites attract’ thing and being having recurring nightmares about Pete Thamel, Pat Forde, and NCAA sanctions. This marriage is never going to work. The house has truly and finally been divided. Eventually, you move out and file for divorce.
Ah, sweet cynicism. Of course a relation between a UK and UofL fan can work. These were merely hypothetical scenarios. I know from experience that it can be an extremely fun relationship filled with some good-natured banter and it will really make you stop taking your fanhood so seriously (something I used to do). Give it a try. Or not. I see both sides of the argument here. Either way, there could be some really angry hook-ups between fans in NOLA.
You guys got any good stories about sleeping with (or at least attempting to) the enemy? Comment below with funny anecdotes.
And if you see if inter-fanbase mingling, romance, or violence going down in New Orleans, feel free to tweets pics or jokes to me, @ChrisThomasKSR.